David Ashcraft - What Was I Thinking?: How to Make Better Decisions So You Can Live and Lead with Confidence

Copyright 2022 by David Ashcraft and Rob Skacel

All right reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

9781087757711

Published by B&H Pubishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 248.84

Subject Heading: CHRISTIAN LIFE / QUALITY OF LIFE / DECISION MAKING

Unless otherwise noted, all Scriptures are taken from the New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2005 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked niv are taken from the New International Version, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Published in association with Wolgemuth & Associates.

Cover design by Tim Green/FaceOut. Author photos by Jackson Roberts.

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To our wives, Ruth and Marita, for encouraging us to risk wisely, and standing by us in lifelong love.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

T hank you to all our friends and family who offered support, encouragement, and assistance with this book.

We are especially thankful for:

Our wives, Ruth and Marita, who both speak truth to us and always have our backs. Theyve encouraged us to take risks, often expressed more confidence in us than we have in ourselves, and have made it clear that they are beside us and stand behind us no matter what the outcome.

Our teams at LCBC Church and True Edge, who have been willing to work with us and take risks with us, at times while asking the question, What were you thinking?

Andrew Wolgemuth and his persistence in finding the right publisher. Taylor Combs and the team at B&H for guiding us through the process.

Peter Greer, for believing our content would be useful to church leaders and for encouraging us to write.

Joelle Walters for her research and conceptual input, and Kim Yarllets for formatting and proofreading help.

Our kids Justin (wife Laura), Ashleigh (husband Kyle), Abe (wife Jordyn), Joelle (husband Caleb), and Eli, who continually take risks by following us and loving us.

FOREWORD

I ts been said that, Decisions determine destiny. Its true.

From Adam and Eves fatal decision to listen to their tempter, to Abrahams decision to listen to the Lord and leave everything behind to follow him to a land he knew nothing about, the long-term consequences of our ancestors decisions have often far exceeded anything they could have imagined.

Thats why our decisions are so important. They dont just impact the immediate moment. They impact the future. And they dont just impact those of us who make the decision. They also impact those we love (and sometimes those we will never meet) in profound and lasting ways.

Granted, while only a few of our decisions will have a massive impact upon the future, and many will have just passing consequences, none are neutral. Every decision we make has consequences.

And therein lies a monumental problem. We cant always know the full spectrum of intended and unintended consequences ahead of time.

Obviously, if we make a decision that we know to be morally wrong or foolish, we shouldnt be surprised when it bears bad fruit. Same with the glaringly obvious decision that bears good fruit. But the fact is, most of our decisions (especially the big ones) are not so easily categorized as right or wrong. They are far more nuanced.

Sometimes its the choice between the lesser of two evils.

Sometimes its a choice between good, better, and best.

Sometimes its a choice between immediate pleasure and long-term consequences.

And almost always, these tougher decisions involve a thing called risk.

For some of us the easy answer to the risk question is to ALWAYS play it safe. Figure out all the possible negative outcomes and avoid them at all cost. But without taking some appropriate risks (and experiencing some negative consequences along the way) we can never know the sweet fruit of great success. Like someone in Tornado Alley who spends their entire lifetime in a storm shelter, well never be hurt by the storm. But well also never know the fresh beauty of a spring day.

Then there are those of us who gravitate towards risk. Our fear of missing out and a life of mediocrity is so great that we swing the pendulum in the opposite direction, valuing and pursuing risk as if its a proper goal in itself, rather than a path that may or may not lead to what we hope for.

Fortunately there is a better way. Its a model for decision-making that David Ashcraft and Rob Skacel spell out in the following pages. They call it DOPE. (I know its a goofy name, but youll find it memorable and easy to access.) It provides a valuable path for thinking through those tough decisions that arent obviously morally right, morally wrong, foolish, or simply a no-brainer.

Obviously, there is no tool or strategy that can guarantee one-hundred percent flawless decision-making. But there are tools and strategies that can greatly increase the odds. And thats what this book provides.

Lets be honest, trusting our gut, doing what weve always done, or what everyone else is doing works most of the time. But the key words are most of the time. Because when they fail, they tend to fail spectacularly, leading to a place I call Destination Sadness. Its the place where we get everything we wanted only to realize its not what we wanted. Its the place that leaves us asking that sad age-old question: What Was I Thinking?

There is a better way. And Im confident that you will benefit from Ashcrafts and Skacels decision-making paradigm long after youve finished this book and set it aside.

Dr. Larry Osborne

Teaching Pastor and Kingdom Ambassador

North Coast Church

Introduction

T hirty-five thousand .

A quick search of the internet tells us thats the number of decisions you and I will make in a day. Which means before our eyes have opened each morning, and well before our feet have hit the floor, we are making decisions.

But, even though I know never to doubt the internet, a skeptic like me still has to question that number. Some quick math tells me that 35,000 decisions a day means I would be required to make a decision every 2.5 seconds, 24 hours a day! Though my cynical side says that 35,000 decisions a day seems like a stretch, regardless of the exact number, reality says that you and I are making thousands of decisions each and every day!

• Will I hit snooze? Will I hit it again? How many times can I hit snooze without ruining my day?
• Jeans or yoga pants?
• Do I skip breakfast or pick it up at the drive-through? (According to researchers at Cornell University, we make 226.7 decisions each day on food alon e.)
• Starbucks or Dunkin?

Some decisions are more involved decisions:

• Do I remind my ten-year-old her science project is due tomorrow?
• Do I express my disappointment (and anger) in my son for once again missing curfew?
• Do I mention to my wife that her car needs to be inspected by end of day tomorrow?
• Cowboys or Eagles?

Then there are life-altering decisions:

• What jobs and career choices will I pursue?
• Who will I date and marry?
• Do I want to have children?
• Democrat, Republican, or Independent?
• What part does God play in my life?
• Am I going to stay in this marriage?

From the moment of birth on into adulthood we share a common desire: the desire of one day having the freedom to make all of our own decisions. But here lies the problem: along with the freedom to make our own decisions come risks. With every decision we make, there are risks.