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Jen McDonald - You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse

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If the military wanted you to have a spouse, they would have issued you one. -Uncle Sam

When you marry a military member, your life is suddenly no longer your own. You not only marry the one you love, but also a whole new way of lifeone filled with separations, moves, deployments, and other challenges.

How to cope with this ever-changing life? Jen McDonald is right there with you. For three decades as a military spouse, she was in the trenches of this unique military world and carved out her own rewarding life, all while moving around the globe and raising four children.

In You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse, Jen offers a helping hand and a whisper of Youve got this! as you make your own way. She celebrates the great moments with you, commiserates when its not so easy, and points you to hard-won wisdom and helpful resources. Most of all, she reminds you that youre not alone on this military spouse journey.

Each of the 30 daily readings is written from the perspective of faith. In her warm, authentic style, Jen offers practical tips (Basic Training for Spouses), related Scripture, and journal prompts for further reflection. Whether its a deployment, move, or raising military kids, youll find real-life inspiration and hope from someone whos been there.

Since its first publication in 2016, You Are Not Alone has resonated with military spouses, both new and experienced, and ranked as a bestseller in the Military Family and Christian Devotionals category.

What Others Are Saying

Jen McDonalds words often bring tears and laughter of reliability within the same sentence. For years, she has been delighting audiences with the knowledge that they are not alone on this journey. Once again, she does it here.

- Kate Dolack, former Editor-in-Chief, Military Spouse Magazine

It is not often that a book can reach the new military spouse as well as ones like myself whose spouses are nearing retirement, but You Are Not Alone has done just that. The author does a fantastic job of drawing you in with very transparent examples of her journey, has you ask yourself how you can grow or change, and closes with relevant Scripture and a thoughtful prayer. This would have been great as a brand-new Army wife, and yet here is EXACTLY what I needed as the looming retirement has me feeling unstable. You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse is exactly thatan amazing encouragement grounded in experience, wisdom, and Scripture. I will be buying this for friends in all seasons of life.

- Tara Howes, Army spouse and co-host of Military Life Radio

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You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse

Copyright 2016, 2022 by Jennifer L. McDonald


All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without written permission of the copyright owner except for the use of quotations in a book review. For more information, contact .


The information in this book is intended as a resource and was correct at the time of publication, but the Author does not assume any liability for loss or damage caused by errors or omissions.


ISBN (paperback): 979-8-9853118-0-8

ISBN (e-book): 979-8-9853118-1-5


Library of Congress Control Number: 2021924149


First edition published 2016.

Second edition published 2022.


SECOND EDITION

Edited by Shari Popejoy

Cover art by Sarah Flood-Baumann Design

Layout by Alexandra Amor


Published by Little Things Press

P.O. Box 1086

Cibolo, TX 78108

www.jen-mcdonald.com


Printed in the United States of America.


Some content previously published in Military Spouse Magazine, Spouse Buzz, and jen-mcdonald.com. Used with permission.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (TLB) are taken from The Living Bible copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Quotations marked NKJV are scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB and NASB-U are scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked as The Message: Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

CONTENTS

I.

Lost but Not Alone

Who Am I?

The Dependent: What About Me?

Learning to Let Go

Unfair Comparisons

Giving Up Control

But I'm a Strong, Powerful Woman

It Never Fails

When Your World Is Shaken

II.

Homesick

Unexpected Friends

I Dont Make Friends

Encourage Each Other

III.

Feed the Fish

Called to Serve

The Military Didn't Issue a Spouse

IV.

Living in the Pause

Lessons from Living Out of a Suitcase

Embracing Where You Live

V.

Goodbye, Again

The Purple Wig

When My Heart Is Overwhelmed

Hello, Again

Together Yet Apart

VI.

Lessons from My Military Kids

Solo Parenting

Maintaining Connections with Extended Family

VII.

Searching for Beauty

Roses in the Desert

A Tapestry of Grace

DEDICATION

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5,6).

The above is what I would consider my life verse and I am thankful that, though I cant always see the path in front of me, God does, and he has been faithful to his promise to lead me through all the twists, turns, and challenges life has thrown at me.

To my husband, Steve. I dont even know where to begin. Thank you for your love and friendship through all our years together, for putting up with my impatience and emotions that you didnt necessarily understand, for all the times you picked up the slack, for the little things like putting gas in my car, for making me feel pretty when I was overdue with your baby, for not caring when we ate frozen pizza again because I was busy writing, for the late nights, for all the mandated military separations (yes, even those) so Id remember how much I love and need you, for all the inside jokes and movie quotes, and for embracing me fully for who I am and never trying to change me (much). I love you dearly. I cant imagine life without you, and guess what? Youre still my best buddy.

For my children Matthew, Gabriel, Grace, and Anna, my son-in-law Tyler, and my daughters-in-law Jeramae and Brittney who were also military brats, along with my darling granddaughter Leila who is our familys tiniest brat you didnt get to choose this life and while I dont gloss over the challenges youve faced, you all are the true picture of hope, flexibility, and strength. I love who you are and the adults youve become. I admire you so much. Even if we werent related, I would want to know you. I love you!

For my beloved parents, Phil and Reba Brown; my siblings and best friends Randy, Becky, and our Jeremy now in heaven; and my extended family. Thank you for the love and warmth youve shown throughout my life. You gave me wings!

WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Jen McDonald is a top-notch writer and military spouse, whose words often bring tears and laughter of reliability all within the same sentence. For years, she has been delighting audiences with the knowledge that they are not alone on this journey. Once again, she does it here.

KATE DOLACK, FORMER EDITOR-IN-CHIEF, MILITARY SPOUSE MAGAZINE

You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse is the kind of devotional that speaks authentically to the heart, because Jen McDonald writes transparently from her experiences as a military spouse. It gave me a much deeper appreciation for the relationship challenges facing those serving in the militaryand those married to them. There is help in this book for the aches of life, wherever you serve.

DIANA WARING, AIR FORCE BRAT AND NAVY MOM, AUTHOR OF BEYOND SURVIVAL, HISTORY REVEALED, AND EXPERIENCE HISTORY THROUGH MUSIC


It is not often that a book can reach the new military spouse as well as ones like myself whose spouses are nearing retirement, but You Are Not Alone has done just that. The author does a fantastic job of drawing you in with very transparent examples of her journey, has you ask yourself how you can grow or change, and closes with relevant Scripture and a thoughtful prayer.

This would have been great as a brand-new Army wife, and yet here is EXACTLY what I needed as the looming retirement has me feeling unstable. You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse is exactly thatan amazing encouragement grounded in experience, wisdom, and Scripture. I will be buying this for friends in all seasons of life.

TARA HOWES, ARMY SPOUSE AND CO-HOST OF MILITARY LIFE RADIO


How I wish Id had this wonderful book to read when I was a young Army wife! Jens words of wisdom would have been just what I needed to endure the long days of TDY and solo parenting! Drawing on her experiences from living around the world, her stories are engaging and her down- to-earth encouragement is like having coffee with a dear friend. I especially love the challenging thoughts at the end of each story. This is one of those books I will return to again and again for inspiration.

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