Shellie Vandevoorde - Separated by Duty, United In Love (revised): A Guide To Long-distance Relationships For Military Couples

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Table of Contents

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

S HELLIE V ANDEVOORDE is a military veteran who served her country for six years and continues to be a devoted army wife and mother. During her army career she worked in the communications field. She also completed airborne and air-assault training. Shellie met her husband while in the army.

After Shellie left the army, she attended the police academy in Fayetteville, North Carolina, and became a deputy sheriff. She was assigned to street patrol, undercover narcotics, community policing, and hostage negotiating and later became a detective.

After moving to Savannah, Georgia, Shellie wrote her book, Separated by Duty, United in Love.

Shellie is an active volunteer at a number of organizations. At family readiness, she is a certified instructor for family team building and involved in company, battalion, and division leadership committees. She continues ongoing family support training and attends conventions within the military.

Shellie has been a guest speaker for National Womens History Month as well as the United States Special Operations Family Readiness Conference. She has received several volunteer awards including the Outstanding Civilian Service Award from the United States Army.

As a military spouse, a working mother, a volunteer, and one who has lived in a long-distance relationship, Shellie offers a no-nonsense guide to getting the most out of your relationship. Sharing her experiences as well as those of hundreds of others who have survived long-distance relationships, Shellie continues to serve the people of this great nation with this book. You can contact her at www.Separatedbyduty.com .

POEMS

I WROTE the following poems from my continuing experience as a military wife. The reader who is not in the military will get a quick picture of who the people are who make the military their life, how they live through the pain of loss, how they cope with their loved ones away, and what makes a military wife and who she is. Those who are in the military and read them, I hope will gain from having me express their lifestyle for them so that they can see they are not alone and others are in the same circumstances. Many have read these poems and said, Yes, thats me. How did she know? They will weep, and that is good too. Each poem has a special meaning for a specific time and place. I hope you benefit from them.

This poem is dedicated to our fallen heroes. I wrote it after my close friend Christinas husband died. You could read this poem at any military funeral or memorial.

Warriors of Freedom

Today tears fell on my old worn beret,
As I see another Warrior has completed his stay.

His mission is now complete, hes come forth as gold,
His memory gives us strength, while we travel down this road.

I see the young widow, trembling so with grief,
The children there beside her, all in disbelief.

Another dawn will rise, another mission to complete,
Freedom is never free, destiny we shall meet.

We are the keepers, of freedom and liberty,
Well be strong and courageous, for America always free.

Tears have fallen, on my old worn beret,
For a friend, a soldier, a hero, we remember here today.

The next poem was written to depict the strength and courage of military spouses.

A Military Wife

A military wife
Her virtues are rare
Shes a pillar of strength
Shes his breath of fresh air

Her sacrifices are many
As she answers his call
She looks fear in the face
Shes the bravest of all

Shes self-sufficient and flexible
More patriotic than most
Her pride is contagious
But seldom does she boast

Shes a mommy, a daddy
A banker, and a nurse,
Shes the hundred-mile-an-hour tape
She keeps money in her purse

Shes part of a sisterhood
That time will never fade
Shes been known to call angels
To act as his aid

This wife has a mission
That few would accept
Shes the wind beneath his wings
Courage must be kept

A military wife
An honor indeed
For her warrior is the keeper
Of freedom and liberty

This poem depicts the life of the military spouse.

Far Away

Oh my loved one so far away,
How I needed you at home today.
Johnnys been crying for two weeks straight,
Jane at fifteen went on her first date.

The van needs fixing, but money is tight,
Come next payday, it will be all right.
Angry words from the past have all been erased,
If only I could hold you, and feel your embrace.

Some days are better, but the nights seem so long,
In the corner of my mind, so many things can go wrong.
I must stand on my faith, day after day,
That my prayers will be answered, and all is okay.

How I long for our love, to be together at last,
Ill wait for you patiently, for these dark days to pass.
When we meet again, our love will have grown,
With each deployment, we add strength thats unknown.

Oh my loved one so far away,
How I long for you here today.

RESOURCES AND SUPPORT GROUPS

M ILITARY SERVICE MEMBERS and their spouses often overlook numerous resources and support agencies dedicated to assisting families. Being a military family is a challenge, and no one will disagree with that, but one thing is for sureyou are not alone.

The particular branch of service you are affiliated with will determine what support group is best for you. Every unit should have an established family support or readiness group. As you read this, many of you may be moaning over a bad experience with one of these support groups. Most of us at one time or another have probably had at least one negative experience within a support group.

Take a few moments and think of all the groups, whether military or civilian, youve been involved with during your life, including your workplace, church, sports team, and so on. Im sure you encounter people or policies within all these groups that you disagree with. Dont allow a particular person or policy to take anything away from what the group has to offer. Not all support groups are alike, and as members of a group change, the dynamics of the group change. The mission of the group is the most important thing.

Most unit support groups have volunteers who, for the most part, lead the group and genuinely care and devote enormous amounts of time and effort to make the group a success. One or two personalities are bound to clash in any group setting. Like all the other clubs or groups you may be a part of, this clash should not stop you from participating or benefiting from the group. You cant benefit at all, if you dont participate. Make yourself part of the solution.

Support groups are a great way to develop friendships, share information, and learn about community services. If youre not plugged into a support group, youre missing a huge benefit for military families. Most families who stay involved with their units support group are better equipped to handle the challenges of separation due to deployments. When the deployments come, many of the spouses have already developed a solid foundation of friends and knowledge of the resources available to them. If your particular unit support group is not for you, I encourage you to seek out a support group elsewhere, such as a community spouses club, an on-line spouses club, or a church group.

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