Kristine Schellhaas - 15 Years of War: How the Longest War in U.S. History Affected a Military Family in Love, Loss, and the Cost Of Service

How the Longest War in U.S. History Affected a Military Family in Love, Loss, and the Cost of Service

Kristine Schellhaas

2016, 2017 by Kristine Schellhaas

Originally published by Life Publishing in 2016 / Cover design: Colleen Cahill, with Ian Hughes.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Schellhaas, Kristine, author.

Title: 15 years of war : how the longest war in U.S. history affected a military family in love, loss, and the cost of service / by Kristine Schellhaas.

Other titles: How the longest war in U.S. history affected a military family in love, loss, and the cost of service

Description: El Dorado Hills, California : Savas Beatie, [2017]

Identifiers: LCCN 2017019155| ISBN 9781611213485 (pbk) | ISBN 9781611213492 (ebk.)

Subjects: LCSH: Schellhaas, Kristine. | Marine Corps spouses--United

States--Biography. | United States. Marine Corps--Military life. | Iraq

War, 2003-2011--Personal narratives, American. | Afghan War,

2001--Personal narratives. | Officers spouses--United States--Biography.

| United States. Marine Corps--Officers--Biography. | Deployment

(Strategy)--Psychological aspects. | Families of military

personnel--United States--Social conditions--21st century. | Camp

Pendleton (Calif.)--Biography.

Classification: LCC VE25 .S34 2017 | DDC 956.7044/3450922 [B] --dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017019155

First Savas Beatie edition, first printing

ISBN: 978-1-61121-348-5

eISBN: 978-1-61121-349-2

Mobi ISBN: 978-1-61121-349-2

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Proudly published, printed, and warehoused in the United States of America.

This book is dedicated to the men and women in uniform who serve our great nation, particularly those who will never feel their homeland beneath their feet again; to the military spouses who serve in their own way by volunteering and keeping the home fires burning, and to our children drafted into this lifestyle.

Your freedom is the most expensive thing you have.

Even if youre not the one who paid for it, use it well.

Unknown

I have done my best to offer accurate accounts of the people, places, and conversations included in this book. The email correspondence between Ross and I is real, though much of it has been combined or condensed for brevitys sake.

This memoir tells our story, but I willingly acknowledge that there will be some people weve met along the way who, when asked, would disagree with our version of events as they occurred. I respect their opinion and have given these characters different names, identifying details, and characteristics to protect their privacy.

The Department of Defense has conducted a security review of this book and has approved it for release. Were indebted to the handful of military members who have given their time to review the stories shared within the text for accuracy. We have also worked with the families of the fallen, whose loved ones lives were graciously given in defense of our great nation. We are grateful for their support in telling the stories of the sacrifices of these men.

Where we love is home; home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

T he day I realized Id fallen madly in love with a man in uniform, I never imagined that Id find myself sitting at his side, hunkered down under a highway overpass, waiting and praying to escape the fury of the F4 tornadoes nearby.

We were somewhere between Chicago and Sioux Fallshalfway between Virginia and California on one of countless such relocations at the Marine Corps behest. The car swayed side to side for hours while the storm raged around us. All we could do was keep our kids calm, and try to find the humor in our situation.

Eventually, I got to a point where I closed my eyes and considered just how exactly Id gotten myself there. Love. Its a funny thing. It had taken me places I never thought Id go; it let me do things I never thought Id do.

I met Ross in 1996. I was a wild 19-year-old, living it up in the summer after my first year of college. Sergeant Ross Schellhaas moved home after his four-year enlistment and was certain the Corps was a memory he only wanted to see in his rearview mirror.

He took me to the Western Idaho Fair on a date, and somewhere between the funnel cakes and Ferris wheel, I began to fall in love. I have so many great memories from that time in our life. Ross was laid back, caring, and funny. His sarcastic wit fit well with mine, and being with him was just easy. Of course, his well-built six-foot frame didnt hurt his chances either.

But soon the nostalgia of the Corps began whispering to him like the siren she is. He joined the Marine Reserves while attending college and signed up for an officer training program. I had no idea what that meant. We were young, determined, and ready to see where life would take us.

Several years later, we graduated from college. I moved to Arizona for work, and Ross returned to life as an active duty Marine in 2001. Those five years together brought an engagement; he was the best man I knew, and to me, it would be worth any sacrifices and hardships to be with him.

I was working full time, waiting for him to graduate from a school in Quantico, Virginia. I didnt know it thenand I wouldnt have believed it anywaybut it was the first of countless days, weeks, and months I would spend waiting for my Marine.

It was also the first time Id played the military waiting game, knowing wed be moving soon, but not knowing where. In my mind, it could have been anywhere in the world. I woke up each day mentally checking off another box. I kept telling myself it wouldnt be much longer. Soon. Soon we would be together again.