Julie Burton - The Self-Care Solution: A Modern Mothers Must-Have Guide to Health and Well-Being

The Self-Care Solution

Copyright 2016 Julie Burton

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, digital scanning, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, please address She Writes Press.

Published 2016

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN: 978-1-63152-068-6 pbk

ISBN: 978-1-63152-069-3 ebk

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015959045

For information, address:

She Writes Press

1563 Solano Ave #546

Berkeley, CA 94707

She Writes Press is a division of SparkPoint Studio, LLC.

Cover design Leah Lococo

Author photo Leslie Parker

All company and/or product names may be trade names, logos, trademarks, and/or registered trademarks and are the property of their respective owners.

Please note that suggestions in this book are not meant to replace the proper role of a psychologist, doctor, midwife, or other health-care provider. This book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of psychologists or physicians. The reader should regularly consult a licensed professional in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO

DAVID, SOPHIE, JEREMY, ABE, AND JOSIE,

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING.

KEEP BELIEVING.

AND R.S., I REMEMBER.

SELF-CARE HAS BECOME A BUZZWORD in this age of modern motherhood. For many of us, it feels like one more thing we need to do, and one more area of our overwhelming lives in which we feel that we are falling short. Not only have we failed to return the field trip permission slip on time, keep the house clean, and gracefully balance work and family, were also failing to care for ourselves properly. Great!

In a 2015 keynote address in Denver, CO, Brian Smith, LCSW addressed a group of social workers, saying, Self-care isnt an activity... Self-care is a value... We might even call it a superordinate value; care for that which embodies all the other values is too important to relegate to a throwaway clich. I couldnt agree more. But motherhood in this day and age is already crammed full of to-dos; how can women realistically incorporate self-care into their lives? Most of them dont even know where to begin.

Julie Burton shows us where to start, and how to maintain an ongoing self-care practice in this much-needed, motivational book. Julies balance of honesty, vulnerability, and practical advice found in The Self-Care Solution will profoundly impact the way mothers care for themselves as they care for their families. As co-editors of The HerStories Project and its four anthologies, we have read hundreds of womens stories about everything from postpartum depression to friendship to juggling work and new motherhood. We can definitively say, both in a professional capacity as editors and publishers, and personally as mothers of four children collectively, that there is a real need for this book.

Todays mothers are stretched to their breaking points. They are overwhelmed with trying to have it all, and they struggle with the guilt that accompanies parenting in an era of competitive motherhood and too much information. They need help and reminders that, not only is it possible to take care of themselves, it is essential. The Self-Care Solution provides compelling evidence on the far-reaching positive effects of making self-care a priority, as well as the very real dangers of mothers neglecting themselves, their health, and their personal needs. Julies genuine and empathic approach empowers moms to be intentional about self-care, and provides mothers with realistic solutions for overcoming self-care obstacles.

In addition to sharing her personal experiences as a mother of four, an eating disorder survivor, and a fitness and wellness instructor for the past two decades, she includes stories and advice from hundreds of mothers she interviewed. For mothers who want to better care for themselves but find that there are far too many reasons not to, The Self-Care Solution inspires mothers to move themselves up on that list, and provides comfort and guidance for mothers embarking on their essential self-care journey.

On behalf of mothers everywhere, thank you, Julie, for writing The Self-Care Solution. This book is a true gift.

STEPHANIE SPRENGER & JESSICA SMOCK ,
founders of The HerStories Project,
editors of Mothering Through the Darkness:
Women Open Up About the Postpartum Experience

CHAPTER 1:
My Life-or-Death Journey to Self-Care

CHAPTER 2:
Merging Motherhood with Self-Care

CHAPTER 3:
Self-Care Solution #1
Honor Your Body

CHAPTER 4:
Self-Care Solution #2
Embrace Sleep and Rest

CHAPTER 5:
Self-Care Solution #3
Cultivate Happiness and Joy

CHAPTER 6:
Self-Care Solution #4
Find Gratitude and Connection

CHAPTER 7:
Self-Care Solution #5
Set Boundaries

CHAPTER 8:
Self-Care Solution #6
Nurture Your Partnership

CHAPTER 9:
Self-Care Solution #7
Find Work-Life Balance

CHAPTER 10:
Self-Care Solution #8
Never Give Up

THE TEARS WELLED IN MY EYES , and I found myself shaking, sobbing, and struggling to catch my breath. But I couldnt stop running. I tried to run from the pain throbbing inside me. Though running had historically helped dissipate many of the worries and stresses within, this run was different. With each step, I felt my body and mind become more and more entangled with the swirling feelings of anxiety. Even as the sun warmed my skin and I willed myself to notice and be comforted by all the beautiful Minnesota summer greenery around me, I didnt feel better. My mind spun faster and faster, and the avalanche of cascading emotions made it impossible for me to separate them into manageable pieces. The racing thoughts moved from confusion to fear and began ferociously to seize my bodystarting in my stomach, moving up into my chest, and lodging in the middle of my throat like a goiter-sized lump, making it hard for me to swallow or breathe.

I found myself in my sisters driveway, a few miles from my house, panting, gasping, reminding myself to breathe deeply, stop crying, pull myself together. But I couldnt this time. The floodgates had opened and I didnt have the strength to close them. I pounded on her door. I stood there, my legs shaking, my head bowed, snot running down my face, feeling desperately alone and afraid.