John Delony - Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

2022 Lampo Licensing, LLC

Published by Ramsey Press, The Lampo Group, LLC

Franklin, Tennessee 37064

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Dave Ramsey, The Ramsey Show, The Dave Ramsey Show, EveryDollar, Financial Peace, Financial Peace University, The Legacy Journey, Smart Money Smart Kids, Rachel Cruze, The Total Money Makeover, Retire Inspired, and Business Boutique are all registered trademarks of Lampo Licensing, LLC. All rights reserved.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering financial, accounting, or other professional advice. If financial advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Scripture quotations are from the American Standard Version Bible. Public Domain.

The names and other identifying facts of individuals whose stories appear in this book have been changed to protect their privacy.

Editor: Jennifer Day

Cover Design: Chris Carrico and Gretchen Hyer

Photography: Seth Farmer

Interior Design: PerfecType, Nashville, TN

Ebook formatting: Mark DAntoni, eBook DesignWorks

ISBN: 978-1-942121-62-6

Printed in the United States of America

22 23 24 25 26 WRZ 5 4 3 2 1

To Sheila.

You hold up my arms when I am weary. You bring me true joy and you have healed my heartI love you. Heres to many more adventures.

To Hank and Josephine.

My love for you two has no end. It is my highest honor to be in the arena, covered by dust and sweat and blood, trying to do my part to make your world a little bit better. Every day I thank God that he picked me to be your dad. May we always remember to stay a bit wild.

I am continually amazed at the human spirit. Our spirits are unbelievably tender, fragile, and can be scarred. At the same time, our spirits are unbelievably strong and resilient.

Over the last thirty years, Ive walked with tens of thousands of individuals and families overcoming their financial stresses. Ive found that money is just one way people experience stress. Many people are often overcoming all kinds of other life stresses all at the same time. And Im always impressed with the power that folks can have in their lives when they believe they can change and choose to make their stresses and scars their strength.

If youre reading this book, youve experienced some sort of trauma in your life, and Im not saying that because Im judging you or because its some prerequisite. Its because youre human! Weve all been through something hard. We all have some sort of crazy in our family. (I like to joke that if you dont, then it just might be you!) Weve all had lies told to us by well-meaning people or lies told about us by not-so-well-meaning people. And the list of hurts goes on and on. All of these things have damaged us in some way. Unfortunately, we cant change our past. But we can change our future.

Winston Churchill said, Out of intense complexities, intense simplicities emerge. The hurt and hopelessness we carry from our past can be intensely complex. But from it, the intense simplicity of truth can emerge. And truth is powerful. Its intense enough to cut through the complex and simple enough to make things clear. In this book, Dr. John Delony introduces truth to the equation of our past traumas and gives us a simple, clear path forward. Through personal stories and research, he shows us how the intense simplicity of truth can transform our hurts to healing and our hopelessness to hopefulness.

If youre not familiar with Dr. Delony, youre in for a treat. The first time I met Dr. Delony, I was immediately taken aback by his quick wit, authenticity, and unbelievable intellect. As weve worked together several years and have become friends, my respect for him has grown. His compassion and genuineness as he reaches into peoples lives and helps them are astounding.

As you read these pages, youll experience that same compassion, authenticity, and wit. Youll laugh. Youll cry. Your thoughts and actions will be challenged. And if you take the steps Dr. Delony outlines, you will be transformed. He will help you apply truth and hope to your life stories and write new onesbetter ones.

The incredible thing about your stories is that, as long as youre breathing, your stories are being written. The question is: Whos doing the writing? Dr. Delony will give you the framework to help you pick up the pen and take the writers seat. Hell help you put pen to paper, so to speak, and author new stories for your life that arent warped by pain or disappointment or manipulation. Youll be able to move forward and live out new stories based on the truth of who you are and who you want to be.

So often we hear the phrase controlling the narrative and we immediately think of manipulative politicians or media. Dont be confused. Thats not what owning your stories and writing new ones is about. Its not some public relations skill. Its about being honest with yourself and doing the emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual work that only you can do. Its about taking control of all-things you for the sake of you. Its about the legacy you want to leave. It wont be easy, but it will be worth it.

Im excited for what will happen as you own your past and change your future!

F ew things are more challenging or humbling than getting a book out into the world. Truth be told, I would not have made it had it not been for the many dedicated souls who scratched, clawed, sacrificed, and dragged me and this manuscript across the finish line. I am forever grateful to everyone who climbed in the ring with me on this one.

Sheila: You lost me for the better part of a year while I completed this project. I am so grateful to you for picking up all of the early mornings, late nights, and lonely weekends while I wrote, rewrote, and rewrote yet again. You kept our home afloat, while also completing your own major projects. None of this happens without you.

Hank and Josephine: You two inspire everything I do. You had absent mornings, boring evenings, and even more boring weekends while I finished this project. I am back and ready for more adventures.

Dave Ramsey: Thank you for your trust, your wisdom, and the man you are behind closed doors. You took a risk on some no-name kid from a university classroom, and you have changed my life. You are the consummate coach and guide, always learning and pushing us to do the same. Thank you.

Cody Bennett: You are the perfect coach, support, and friend. You hold me accountable, you advocate for truth, and you are always in my corner. Most importantly, you have continued to live out these ideals with your friends and family. You are walking the walk and it makes me better. Thank you.