Jim Auer - Standing Up to Peer Pressure: A Guide to Being True to You

Standing Up to Peer Pressure A Guide to Being True to You Jim Auer Illustrated by R. W. Alley Abbey Press For Rose, Jeff, and Jeannie. A Message to Parents, Teachers,
and Other Caring Adults The phrase peer pressure frequently evokes images of teenagers dressing in outlandish fashions and experimenting with off-limits activities. But peer pressure is not exclusively the province of teens. Everyone feels it, from young children through adults, because it operates (one is tempted to say preys) on the universal desire to be accepted and approved of.

Everybody else is doing it begins at a very early age. Although possibly blamed for too much, peer pressure deserves some of its villainous reputationbut also doesnt receive enough credit for its positive side. There are adults leading successful, productive lives who could justifiably say, I wouldnt be here if it werent for my friends. And there are adults languishing in prisons who could justifiably say the same thing. All of them started out as children who were well equipped or not so well equipped to distinguish between positive and negative influences and respond accordingly. Preparing children to deal with negative peer pressure requires more than merely saying, Well, just dont pay any attention to what other kids say.

Two factors are crucial: instilling a conviction of what is right and wrong, and fostering a strong sense of self-worth and identitythis is who I am, and this is what I stand for. Every time a child sees an adult doing the right thingand being happy for itprovides reinforcement for resisting negative peer pressure. And so is every affirmation of a childs worth and unique goodness. Its not an easy task for adults to arm children with the necessary strength and judgment to respond appropriately to peer pressure. It requires patience, a willingness to repeat the message as often as needed in varying ways, and a readiness to deal constructively with the failures that a child will almost certainly experience. May this book help you guide the children in your care to prepare for any negative peer pressure that they will encounter.

Jim Auer What Is a Peer? P eople are different ages. There are young people like yourself and older people like your parents and your grandparents. Thats good. The world needs people of different ages. P eople of about the same age are peers to each other. Someone who is about your age is your peer.

People who are about your parents age are their peers. A peer might be a very close friend or just someone you recognize. Even people your age that you dont know at all are your peers. Different Kinds of Pressure P ush on one arm with the other. Thats pressure. You feel it with your skin and your body.

Y ou can sense other kinds of pressure on the insidewith your feelings. When you want to win a game or a sport, thats pressure. When you want to do well in school, thats pressure, too. W e all need some pressure. Its good for us. It pushes us to get going.

But pressure is not good if it pushes us in the wrong direction. Feeling Good I ts normal to want to feel good. Many things help make that happen. One big way is when other people like you, and want to be with you, and think youre okay. T o help make that happen, its natural to want to please your friends. You may want to be what they expect you to be.

Thats okay as long as they expect good things for you. Peer Pressure! W hen you feel that you have to be like your peers, and do what theyre doing, thats called peer pressure. S ometimes peers actually tell you to be like them. They might say, Lets all do this. Or they might say, If you want to belong, you have to do that. S ometimes you can just feel pressure inside yourself.

If your friends dress a certain way or talk a certain way, you might feel that you should tooeven if they havent said that to you. When Peer Pressure Is Bad S ometimes your peers know that they are doing or planning wrong things. Some examples are smoking, stealing, using bad language, breaking things, or making fun of someone. B ut if they can get others to do those things, then it lets them feel okay about it. They may try to get you to join them. Be Good to Yourself
and Your Peers G od made you good, and God wants you to be nice to yourself and to your friends. Be Good to Yourself
and Your Peers G od made you good, and God wants you to be nice to yourself and to your friends.

That makes the world a good place. I f you follow your peers when they want you to do wrong things, you are not being good to yourself or to them. W hen you do the right thing, you are being kind and loving to yourself and to others. Sometimes the kindest word you can say to your friends is NO!