Dr. Christopher Thurber - The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure: A Positive Approach to Pushing Your Child to Be Their Best Self

TheUnlikely Art of Parental Pressure is the rare parenting book that respects both parents and children. Instead of simply applauding parental pressure as the key to success or dismissing it as cruel and ineffective, Thurber and Weisinger walk their readers through the theory and practice of parenting happy, successful children. A tour de force.

A BBY F REIREICH and B RIAN P LATZER , education columnists for The Atlantic and the authors of Taking the Stress out of Homework

The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure beautifully illuminates and addresses the delicate dance that parents are faced with on a daily basis.

Chad Beguelin, playwright and lyricist of The Prom

Parental pressure is often detrimental to a childs desire to participate in sports. This book provides parents the tools to transform parental pressure into a positive force that will encourage your child to follow their passion and perform their best, be it on the soccer field or school field.

G REGG B ERNHALTER , head coach, U.S. Mens National Soccer Team

All parents worry that they are pushing their children too much or not enough. Two sophisticated psychologists, Drs. Thurber and Weisinger, tackle this problem head-on in The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure. With up-to-date science, great wisdom, and readable case examples, they show parents the right way to support their children. If you have ever worried that you are the dreaded pushy parent, you should read this book. Your children will thank you.

M ICHAEL G. T HOMPSON, P H D, bestselling author of Raising Cain and Best Friends; Worst Enemies

There is an art to parental pressure, and Drs. Thurber and Weisinger give you the brushstrokes and tools you need to become a master at healthy prodding that supports children and avoids harmful results or pushback. One of the most helpful parenting books of the last decade.

S USAN N EWMAN , P H D, social psychologist and author of Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day

This is a great resource for any parent who wants to know how to push their kids to do their best without placing their children under toxic pressure.

A MY M ORIN, author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Dont Do and 13 Things Strong Kids Do

Based on their decades of experience, Drs. Thurber and Weisinger have illuminated a new pathway to student success by demystifying the difference between healthy and harmful parental pressure. The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure invites readers to a conversation about parenting that can improve the lives of parents and children as they both strive to be their best.

T YLER C HAPMAN T INGLEY , E D D, thirteenth principal of Phillips Exeter Academy, first co-head, Avenues: The World School

How do we push children without pressuring them in unhealthy ways? How might we support without being too lenient? Amid the onslaught of unsolicited, unscientific, and often conflicting advice, parents feel confused in answering these questions. Enter the warm and humorous advice of Drs. Thurber and Weisinger. By the end of the book, youll have absorbed the parental trifecta: compassion, clarity, and scientifically backed guidance to transform unhealthy pressure into wise parenting.

Y AEL S CHONBRUN , P H D, assistant professor, Brown University, and cohost of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast

Drs. Thurber and Weisingers work teaches parents how to transform unhealthy parental pressure into a guiding force that will help any child navigate their life more effectively and, in the process, boost the quality of the parent-child relationship.

G ILDA R OSS , student and community projects coordinator, GlenBard Parent Series

No one goes to school to be a parent, hence the African saying that it takes a village to raise a child. This book is timely during this pandemic, when many children are casualties of Covid-19. Reading the book reminded me that children are essential for the survival of our speciesa sober reminder for those in schools where the focus is raising children in partnership with parents and guardians.

T EMBA M AQUBELA , headmaster at Groton School

The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure is a timely, insightful exploration of a challenge that all parents face as they help navigate their childrens journey toward success. The book provides a broad and deep examination of issues that parents will immediately resonate with and offers practical solutions that parents can actually use with themselves and their children.

J IM T AYLOR , P H D, author of Positive Pushing: How to Raise a Successful and Happy Child

With a keen eye to the never-easy dynamics of parenting kids with potential, Thurber and Weisinger show a better way to avoid the paradox of harming our kids when all we really want is to make their lives easier than our own.

M ICHAEL U NGAR , P H D, director, Resilience Research Centre, Dalhousie University; author, Change Your World: The Science of Resilience and the True Path to Success

Like the ghost of Christmases Past, Present, and Future, Thurber and Weisinger guide you behind the scenes to give you a panoramic view of the effects parental pressure can have on our children. While reading this book, you may also uncover the residual footprints of your own parents parenting style. Thurber and Weisinger enlighten and educate, teaching us how to reframe and convey our positive intentions in a way that fosters a healthy and supportive space for our children to thrive.

B RITTNEY -N ICHOLE C ONNOR -S AVARDA, founder, Catalyst 4 Change; Generation EQ

Copyright 2021 by Christopher A. Thurber, PhD, and Hendrie Davis Weisinger, PhD

Cover design by LeeAnn Falciani

Cover photograph PM Images / Getty Images

Cover copyright 2021 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Thurber, Christopher A., 1968 author. | Weisinger, Hendrie, author.

Title: The unlikely art of parental pressure : a positive approach to pushing your child to be their best self / Christopher Thurber, PhD, and Hendrie Weisinger, PhD.

Description: First edition. | New York, NY : Hachette Go, [2021] | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021003076 | ISBN 9780306874772 (paperback) | ISBN 9780306874789 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Parenting. | Social pressure. | Expectation (Psychology) | Self-esteem in children. | Success in children

Classification: LCC HQ755.8 .T5658 2021 | DDC 649/.1dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021003076

ISBNs: 978-0-306-87477-2 (trade paperback); 978-0-306-87478-9 (ebook)