John Mark Falkenhain - I Dont Want to Go to Church!: Turning the Struggle Into a Celebration

I Dont Want to Go to Church!

Turning the Struggle into a Celebration

Br. John Mark Falkenhain, O.S.B.

Illustrated by R. W. Alley

Abbey Press

A Message to Parents, Teachers,
and Other Caring Adults

It is normal and natural for children to go through phases when they dont want to go to church. The reasons and issues involved differ greatly depending on the age of the child. Rebellion by a two-year-old over going to church is certainly different from the resistance of a seven-year-old who finds church boring or difficult to understand. Teenagers sometimes reject going to church for entirely different reasons. In each case, we do best when we avoid power struggles, try to appreciate the childs point of view, and see the resistance as an opportunity to pass on a little bit more about why going to church is important to us.

This book is written for younger, school-age children for whom going to church doesnt always make sense, particularly when it competes with things theyd rather do, like sleeping in or playing. Younger children dont have the cognitive abilities in place yet to understand many of the abstract ideas that go along with faith and religion. For these young people, the experience of church often needs to be more concrete, story-based, or tied to everyday experiences and relationships.

Many churches hold services for children or Sunday school programs for the children to attend while the adults worship. Aside from what happens as part of the service, parents can spark a childs love for church by pairing church time with special family traditions, friendships, or celebrations. In the pages that follow, we specifically mention making traditions out of Sunday breakfasts, coffee with friends, or going to the bakery. Other examples might include picking up Grandma each Sunday for church, or even visiting a friend at the nursing home each Sunday on the way home.

If made fun and enjoyable, little acts of hospitality and charity can make the experience of going to church more concrete, more meaningful, and even something to look forward to rather than resist.

Br. John Mark Falkenhain, O.S.B.

Going to Church

N ot everyone goes to church, but lots of people do. Many families go to church every Sunday and sometimes even more often. There are other families who go to church every once in a while, on special occasions or important holidays.

M any families go to church together, but there are some people who go alone. Sometimes that is because they are not married or have no family, so the people at church become a kind of family for them.

I n some families, the mother and father go to different churchesusually the churches they went to when they were growing up. When they come home from their churches each Sunday, they might talk about what the priest or minister said. Sometimes in these families, the children grow up going to two different churches.

Why Do We Go to Church?

T here are lots of reasons why people go to church. One good reason is that we are all children of God, who invites us to church to help us remember that God made each one of us. If you are not sure why your family goes, you might want to ask your mother or father.

Y our mother might say, We go to church to thank God for all the good things that happen to us each week. Remember the fun we had at the park last Friday? Or how happy we were when Aunt Sue came home from the hospital? These are good things from God; so we need to go out of our way a little to say thank you.

O r your father might say, We go to church to ask for Gods help when we have problems. You know how you are having a hard time at school getting along with Joey? Well, the next time you go to church, you might ask God to help you figure out how to stop fighting with him.

Its a Tradition!

T here are even more reasons for going to church. If you asked your grandma why she goes to church, she might say, Honey, Ive always gone to church. Its just what our family does on Sunday. Ive been going since I was a little girl.

T hat is what we call tradition. Tradition is something that you do over and over again, year after year, for important reasons, even if you cant quite remember them all. Blowing out candles on a birthday cake is a tradition. Putting up a Christmas tree is a tradition, too.

S ometimes we go to church without thinking about all the reasons why we are going. But that doesnt mean it isnt important, or that it doesnt mean anything.

Sometimes I Dont Feel Like
Going to Church!

T here are times in most peoples lives when they dont feel like going to church. Even parents sometimes dont want to go, but they do because they know it is important.

G etting up and getting dressed for church is not what we always feel like doing on a Sunday morning. You might wish instead to stay in bed and sleep, or watch cartoons, or play video games.

S ome children dont want to go because they feel bored in church, or because they have a hard time understanding everything that is going on. Sometimes it is difficult to sit quietly for a long time. Sometimes, though, when we do things we dont feel like doing, we later find out how good or fun they really can be!

Doing Things We Dont Feel Like
Doing

E ven when we dont feel like going to church, it is still important to go. When you think about it, there are lots of things that we do (and