Jennifer Eyre White - The Practical Napper: Tips, Facts, and Quotes for the Avidly Recumbent
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- Book:The Practical Napper: Tips, Facts, and Quotes for the Avidly Recumbent
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Jennifer Eyre Whites The Practical Napper: Tips, Facts, and Quotes for the Avidly Recumbent is the perfect bedside (or couchside) read for the recumbently inclined. Its the first book to show that napping is, in many ways, a noble pursuit: Its good for you, its good for the environment, and its good for world peace. Consider the following while youre catching your next 40 winks:
a) Burning fossil fuels
b) Procreating, thus increasing the pitter-patter of little carbon footprints
c) Engaging in slash-and-burn agriculture.
- Napping during sex is sometimes perceived as a lack of interest. Be careful with that.
- Advice for parents with newborns: nap when the baby naps. Unless, of course, you have other kids, in which case youll need to tie them up in the back yard first.
A wonderful book, both for reading and for placing on the face while napping. AJ Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically
My motto has always been, More napping, less slapping! This funny and informative book takes us ever closer to that dream. Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts
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The Practical Napper copyright 2011 by Jennifer Eyre White. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.
Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC an Andrews McMeel Universal company 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106
EISBN: 978-1-4494-0855-8
Library of Congress Control Number: 2010937883
www.andrewsmcmeel.com
ATTENTION: SCHOOLS AND BUSINESSES Andrews McMeel books are available at quantity discounts with bulk purchase for educational, business, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail the Andrews McMeel Publishing Special Sales Department:
To my three kids, Riley, Ben, and Kirby,
who have given me great joy and an
unwavering commitment to napping.
Napping is an activity of widespread public interest. In fact, current census data indicates there are 300 million nappers in the United States. Well, ok, it doesnt actually say that, but it does say there are 300 million people in the United States, and who doesnt nap? Like, five people? So that makes 300,000,000 5 nappers. Everyone naps.
Even people who say they dont nap, nap. They just call it something else. They say things like, Im resting my eyes. Or, Im just going to go lie on that couch over there while I read this newspaper, and I prefer to have the newspaper actually touching my face.
Theres no need to be embarrassed about it. Some of the more intelligent countries have built their entire schedules around a daily period of napping, which they usually call siesta. Take Spain, for examplea country that invented a very popular foreign language still taught in many U.S. high schools today, not to mention coming up with that whole tapas thingis it possible theyre wrong about the importance of napping? I dont think so.
But just because everyone can (and does) nap doesnt mean napping is an activity that should be taken lightly. That would be like saying just because everyone can (and does) eat, there is nothing to be learned about food or cooking. The fact is, there are many fine points to napping, and it is the knowledge of these points that separates the savvy nappers from the napping slackers.
This small reference volume holds essential tips for napping more effectively, research-based facts about the many benefits of napping, and insightful napping quotes from celebrity practitioners. You will learn that napping is, in many ways, a noble pursuit: its good for you; its good for the environment; and its good for world peace.
There are many countries where
people still take siestas, including
Spain, Greece, Italy, the Philippines,
and China. If you dont live there,
move there. Or inquire about starting
a siesta program in your country.
Good times for naps:
a. Now
b. Later
Napping during sex is sometimes
interpreted as a lack of interest.
Be careful with that.
Bad times for naps:
a. When doing anything related to air-traffic control
b. During the swimming portion of a triathlon
c. When your wifeor really, anyone in the roomis giving birth. Show some respect. Look alert!
Research shows that when you sleep, your brain can process new information learned during the day. Therefore, its a good idea to go right to sleep whenever people are trying to teach you somethingas in a physics class, for example, or at work meetings or church services. If anyone questions your behavior, tell them that you dont want to wait until nighttime to process such important information.
The phrase
good nap
is redundant.
A small fan or other white-noise generator can help mask the sounds of daily activity and lead to a more restful nap. If, however, the sounds of daily activity include someone pounding on your bedroom door and shouting, Get your lazy ass out of bed and go to school/work/the grocery store, you may also want to consider soundproofing.
Napping is good for the environment. When youre napping, youre not:
a. Burning fossil fuels
b. Procreating, thus increasing the pitter-patter of little carbon footprints
c. Engaging in slash-and-burn agriculture
Napping:
The solution to
global warming?
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while youre in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another cityboy, I dont know what to tell you.
Jack Handey
Learn to travel with a nap kit.
Your kit should include earplugs,
a sleeping mask, a small inflatable
pillow, a bottle of brandy,
a Barcalounger, and some Wet Ones
for wiping the post-nap spittle
off your chin.
Spittle is
a funny word.
If you were hoping this book would be filled with pictures of cute baby animals napping, Im sorry. This is not that kind of book. However, here is a kitten in a hammock.
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