Praise for Healing Family Relationships
All families are messy and, at times, broken. All families need healing. Rob Rienow writes with such authenticity and knowledge as to be a sort of spiritual mentor to help you find that healing with your family relationships. There is not a family in the universe who would not benefit from this book. Its hope filled, biblical, and practical.
Jim Burns, PhD, president, HomeWord; author of Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut & the Welcome Mat Out and The Purity Code
Are you struggling to maintain strong, healthy bonds with your family members? Weve all found ourselves at odds with loved ones from time to time, but Rob Rienows latest book will show you how to experience healing in your most important relationships this side of heaven.
Jim Daly, president, Focus on the Family
Anything Rob Rienow writes is worth reading. In my opinion, no one is better at applying Gods Word to the complexities of marriage and family and multigenerational faithfulness than Rob. Read Healing Family Relationships and be equipped and inspired and challenged to love God and family like never before.
Troy Dobbs, senior pastor, Grace Church of Eden Prairie
Have you reached a dead end in trying to heal broken relationships in your family? Rob Rienow will provide you with a whole host of new strategies that are biblical and practical. His personal transparency is exemplary, and his wisdom is biblical. This is simply the best book Ive ever read on the topic!
Larry Fowler, founder, the Legacy Coalition
Rob Rienow understands what it means, theologically and practically, to foster healing in family relationships. This book is a treasure trove for parents and grandparents hoping to cultivate healing, grace, and peace during seasons of familial brokenness, sin, and spiritual warfare.
Dr. Brian Haynes, lead pastor, Bay Area Church and Christian School
Nobody is exempt from the hurts and wounds that come from being part of a familyeven a loving family. Theyre inevitable. But not everyone rises above the pain to build better relationships. Why? Its tough. Thankfully, Rob Rienow has provided a biblically based path for doing just that in Healing Family Relationships . Dont miss out on this life-transforming message.
Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, #1 New York Times bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
Rob begins this remarkable book with the comforting assurance that messy families are normal. Then with transparency and wisdom, he offers a sensible, biblical blueprint for restoration, healing, and hope. No matter how dysfunctional your family might be, this book will help you strengthen relationships with the people you love most.
Wayne Rice, cofounder of Youth Specialties, conference director of the Legacy Coalition
Minutes after reading Healing Family Relationships , I ordered copies to give to people I care about. And right after that, I made the book required reading in my seminary course on the family. I cannot give a stronger endorsement than those two actions. This is an important book.
Richard Ross, PhD, professor of student ministry, Southwestern Seminary, Fort Worth, Texas
Only God can heal broken family relationships. In this very personal, touching book, Rob shows us how to position ourselves well while we wait for that healing. And if God chooses not to heal the relationship, this book opens pathways for God to heal us.
Dr. Scott Turansky, cofounder, National Center for Biblical Parenting
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
2020 by Robert Rienow
Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan
www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Ebook edition created 2020
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-2490-0
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2016
Scripture quotations identified KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations identified NIV are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations identified NIV 1984 are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations identified NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Stories are shared with permission, and names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.
Cover design by Darren Welch Design
Dedication
To John Diehl,
my brother-in-law,
who is home in heaven with Jesus.
Thank you, John,
for being a person of peace.
Contents
Cover
Praise for Healing Family Relationships
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction: Every Family Is Hurting
1. The Power of Forgiveness
2. Healing through Prayer
3. Healing through Repentance
4. Healing through Listening
5. Healing through Acceptance
6. Healing through Spiritual Warfare
7. Healing through Boundaries
8. Healing through Compassion
9. Healing through Patience
10. Healing through Mediators
11. Healing through Mercy
12. Healing through the Generations
13. A Family Miracle
Conclusion: Reconciliation with God
Notes
About the Author
Back Cover
Acknowledgments
A special thanks to my wife, Amy, most importantly for always seeking healing and reconciliation with me in and through our conflicts, but also for helping me improve every aspect of this book. Thanks also to my mother and stepfather, Angie and Jack, for their labor of love in proofreading. I am thankful that this book on family relationships has been a family project.
Introduction
Every Family Is Hurting
Every family experiences conflict, hurt, and brokenness. There are two big reasons for this reality. First, each of us struggles with sin and character problems. When multiple people with character problems live together under the same roof, you get lots of problems! Second, God created the family as the foundation of all human life and society. Satan and his demons understand this, so a tremendous amount of their firepower is directed toward breaking the relationships between spouses, parents and children, and brothers and sisters.
I believe you picked up this book because you desire healing in one of your family relationshipsor perhaps for your entire family tree. There is good news! God loves your family. He intentionally put the members of your family together. He has the power to use the joys and the sorrows of your familys journey to draw you closer to Him and to one another. In the pages ahead you will not find pat answers or quick fixes. However, you will find encouragement, hope, and principles from the Bible that will give you practical steps toward healing broken relationships in your family and experiencing more peace in your home.