Ryan Sterling - Youre Making Other People Rich: Save, Invest, and Spend with Intention

Broke, depressed, and on the verge of divorce, I was bottoming out.

No one could tell.

As the newly minted senior vice president at an investment management firm, I had a mid - six - figure income and a life full of pleasure and convenience. If you spent five minutes with me, youd be convinced that everything was greatmostly because I needed to convince myself that everything was all good.

In fact, everything was far from good. It wasnt supposed to be this way. Id done everything the right way. I wasnt perfect, but I knew damn well how to fall in line and deliver on expectations. Id accomplished everything I set out to, and then some. My rsum told the story: degrees from highly rated schools, a Wall Street career, a fancy title, top industry designations, a high income, frequent fine dining, custom suits, a luxury downtown apartment, and limited life failures. On paper, I embodied the image of a successful professional. In secret, I was financially broke and suffering in silence.

I wish I could pinpoint the moment, or epiphany, when everything transformed. The moment when you clearly hit bottom, dust yourself off, and an inspirational montage (cue the music) fuels the engine for sustainable, positive change. The moment when you go from bad to good, from down - and - out to champion, from nave to enlightened. In other words, I wish I could tell you that my turnaround was fast, easy, and triumphant. It wasnt. My turnaround was slow, methodical, and involved a lot of deep work.

I can map my turnaround through a series of turning points, like the time I realized Id hit the number. Just a decade earlier, Id decided on an income threshold to represent my I - made - it number. But once I made it, nothing changed. What I thought would be an exciting revelation was a depressing moment. Overconsumption caused me to be as financially insecure as ever, and even at that number I was still dependent on the next paycheck and bonus. I worked to finance my lifestyle but was missing out on life.

I remember looking at my credit card debt with horror and disgust. Instead of doing something about it, I ignored it, and put my focus and energy on something else. Intellectually, I knew this approach was foolish, but my ego was more powerful than my intellect. My ego was destroying my life, including my marriage to my wife, Lauren.

Lauren is my love, my partner. When we set out, we were each others biggest cheerleaders. Ive experienced more fun and laughter with her with than anyone else in the world and more joy than I ever imagined. But we became adversaries. I remember the turning point when it was clear that our marriage was on the brink of ending. We were sitting on the couch the morning after a night of rich food and cocktails (again), when we said the word divorce for the first time. The pursuit of money and the ideal lifestyle were making us unhealthy physically and emotionally. Our so - called dreams were tearing us apart. It wasnt immediately clear, but the life wed created was based on unintentional consumption, actions, and choicesa life neither of us wanted.

We wanted to be a team. We wanted more purpose and meaning. We wanted financial independence.

Does any of this sound familiar? Are societal pressures and influences getting the best of you financially? Is your ego defeating your intellect? Is fear impeding action?

If youre waiting for that financial epiphany, it may never come. The truth is, most of us are in a chronic state of financial and personal misery. How do we self - medicate ? We consume. Consumption provides a short - term dose of pleasure. It makes us feel happy and feeds the ego. Its a way to show others and prove to ourselves that we matter. It also provides a sense of control and the authority we crave to quiet our inner fears. But chronic, compulsory overconsumption is like a disease, keeping us trapped in a lifestyle full of unintentional choices and outcomesa self - created prison.

The downward spiral was a slow burn. It could have gone on forever, but the actions we chose when faced with a series of turning points led to our commitment to a life of intentionwhere money was no longer a controlling or defining force but a resource in our pursuit of true desires, aspirations, and goals. We reached a place where physical and emotional health offered wealth that transcended money. A place where love, acceptance, and joy created meaning and abundance. Lauren and I never organized or white - boarded our way to this place, but looking back, our journey out of the financial pain and misery we created is clearly defined through awareness, accountability, and action.

Awareness is the recognition that youre being exploited to consume now . This right now kind of culture is a detriment to your financial future. Awareness is the understanding that your innate desires for pleasure and convenience can inhibit personal growth. Awareness is the acknowledgment that youre made to feel like you live in a state of perceived scarcity and understanding how the scarcity mindset attracts poor financial decisions.

Accountability is defining what you want out of life and what youre willing to do for it. Are you ready to confront and disarm your ego, commit to change, and believe you can pursue meaning and purpose? Accountability is detaching from the things, outcomes, and beliefs that led you down the path to mindless consumption and unintentional choices.

Action means paying off debt, building an emergency savings account, and creating and working toward meaningful goals. Action is not about being perfect, fast results, or pleasure. Action is about commitment, seeing progress, and celebrating success, while being resilient during setbacks.

Action leads to freedom.

I love personal finance and investing, and Ive been helping people save, invest, and reach their financial and personal goals for more than fifteen years. Ive worked at some of the largest firms in the world and have advised everyone from retired teachers to billionaires. The irony is not lost on meI was great at my job and advising others but horrible at managing my own money.

For the longest time, I was convinced that managing wealth was all about being technically sound, but theres much more to it than checking off boxes. Creating a net worth statement, building a budget, developing and implementing an investment strategy, reviewing insurance options, and planning for college were all important, but I learned the hard way that building wealth is less about the how and more about the why and what . Why is building wealth important? Why is it so hard to fight the urge to consume? Why does my ego control me? What do I want? What am I willing to commit to? When you understand why and what it takes, its easier to build your awareness, be accountable, and spark action.