Brenda Garrison - Love No Matter What: When Your Kids Make Decisions You Dont Agree with

Praise for Love No Matter What

What happens when a great person who is also a great writer tackles a great subject? A book like Love No Matter What is produced. This book is truly a gift to struggling parents. And really, doesnt that include us all?

Mark Atteberry
Award-winning author
of Dream and The
Samson Syndrome

I didnt want to read this book. I didnt want to need it. But I do. I wish Brenda wasnt qualified to write it. But she is. I wish all parenting was easy and successful. But its not. Thank you, Brenda and Katie, for opening up and sharing your lives and struggles so honestly. Please dont write a book about being eaten by sharks.

Jess MacCallum
Author of Put the Seat
Down and guest blogger,
StartMarriageRight.com

Brenda Garrison knows how to make sense of the difficult scenarios parents find themselves in when they lock horns with children who are bent on doing life their way. Brenda and daughter Katie speak from years of personal struggle. Through their relationship and stories of others, you will learn how to effectively and lovingly relate in your own.

Mark Gregston
Author and host of
Parenting Todays Teens

Brenda speaks to parents right where theyre livingdesiring to be a positive influence in their kids lives but pulling out their hair because of their kids decisions. Through her own words, Brendas daughter Katie gives parents the gift of getting inside their kids hearts and minds so parents can better understand their children. Parents will wish they had read this book sooner.

Cindy Willison
Ministry services leader
at Southland Christian
Church, Danville campus

In todays culture, what parents dont have children making decisions they dont agree with? This book assures parents they are not alone but in the majority. Brenda and her daughter Katie honestly share their struggles with each other and offer practical ways to grow in relationship together. Thanks for being real, girls!

Anita Lustrea
Author, speaker, and
host of Moody Radios
Midday Connection

This is a great resource for parents! As parents, we all have great expectations and some fears as it relates to our children growing up and making lifelong decisions. Brenda Garrison does an outstanding job of balancing the truth of Gods Word with practical application for parents as they navigate their roles in shepherding their children. I recommend this book for all parents with teenagers.

Steve McGinnis
Counseling pastor of Harvest
Bible Chapel, Peoria

Love is the most essential ingredient of the universe, of all things created and all that is eternal. Love No Matter What is what God does for us from cradle to the grave, and Brenda reminds us of His beautiful invitation to participate in the kind work of grace.

Wes Yoder
Author of Bond of
Brothers: Connecting with
Other Men Beyond Work,
Weather, and Sports

Love No Matter What is a touching, authentic, and well-written book. Brenda offers a dose of relationship-enhancing, guilt-banishing guidance for parents struggling to understand their children. Katies Thoughts offers a unique, fresh perspective. Together Brenda and Katie help point parents to hope that comes from finding Gods love in the hard places.

Claudia Mitchell
Counselor and author

LOVE

NO MATTER

WHAT

2013 Brenda Garrison

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Published in association with KLO Publishing Service, LLC (www.KLOPublishing.com).

Thomas Nelson, Inc., titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version. 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are from New American Standard Bible, The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson. 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked RSV are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible. 1946, 1952, 1971, 1973 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Garrison, Brenda, 1959

Love no matter what : when your kids make decisions you dont agree with / Brenda Garrison ; with insights from her daughter Katie.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-8499-4741-4 (trade paper)

1. Parent and childReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.

BV4529.G37 2013

248.8'45dc23

Printed in the United States of America

13 14 15 16 17 QG 5 4 3 2 1

To my daughter Katie:

Thank you for your patience and
love as we journey together.

Contents

THANKS SO MUCH TO GENE AND OUR DAUGHTERSKatie, Kelsey, and Kerryfor their constant encouragement, support, and love.

Thank you to my agent, Kyle Olund, who encouraged me through this process. Kyle, thanks for patiently waiting for me to arrive at the right time to write this book.

Special thanks to the families and adult children who shared their stories. Without you this book would not be possible.

I LOVE SEEING THE RESULTS OF MY EFFORTS. I LOVE seeing an empty laundry room at the end of laundry day. I love seeing the numbers on the scale go down when I eat healthily and exercise. I love seeing the look on my familys faces when I place a beautiful meal on the dining room table. So as a parent, I thought if I kept doing all the right things I knew to do, I would see the results of my three daughters walking with the Lord and making (mostly) good decisions.

As a young mother I listened intently to Christian parenting experts advice on how to handle everything in my kids lives, from media and entertainment to friends and devotions. I thought I heard them promise that, if I did everything right, my kids would turn out right. My results-oriented thinking translated their teaching to A + B = C. A and B represented good parenting advice and C represented a perfect kid. But one thing I do not remember hearing is that sometimes our best efforts do not produce our desired results. When it became evident to my husband, Gene, and me that our oldest daughter, Katie, was going to choose her own pathone that wasnt parallel to Godswe asked ourselves what we did wrong. Actually, I asked myself that. Gene, being much wiser, knew we had done our best.

Please know that our best was nowhere near perfect. For Katie, being the oldest child of two inexperienced parents meant a lot of trial and error in parenting her. Katie was a fussy baby from about two weeks old. Even the oldest and most experienced moms we knew did not have a clue how to make her happy. As Katie grew, so did the frequency of her challenges to Gene and me. For Katie, being asked to do something wasnt enough motivation to do it. It had to matter to her personally, and even then she acted in her own time. She was strong-willed. Gene and I didnt know about this personality type, and we certainly did not know how to parent her accordingly. It was as if we and our child were speaking two different languages.