Stephen Post Ph.D. - Why Good Things Happen to Good People: The Exciting New Research that Proves the Link Between Doing Good and Living a Longer, Healthier, Happier Life

Contents

ONE
Find the Fire

TWO
The Love and Longevity Scale: Learn Ten Ways of Giving

THREE
The Way of Celebration: Turn Gratitude into Action

FOUR
The Way of Generativity: Help Others Grow

FIVE
The Way of Forgiveness: Set Yourself Free

SIX
The Way of Courage: Speak Up, Speak Out

SEVEN
The Way of Humor: Connect with Joy

EIGHT
The Way of Respect: Look Deeper and Find Value

NINE
The Way of Compassion: Feel for Others

TEN
The Way of Loyalty: Love Across Time

ELEVEN
The Way of Listening: Offer Deep Presence

TWELVE
The Way of Creativity: Invent and Innovate

THIRTEEN
Doing Good, Living Well: Your Life Program

To those beacons of good who inspire me always: Joseph Foley, Cathy M. Lewis, Richard Watson, and Sir John Templeton.

S.P.

For Thomas Usher, who always gives but never sacrifices.

J.N.

Preface

BY REVEREND OTIS MOSS JR.

L ove is the most radical, life-altering force in the universe. In the book you are about to read, Dr. Stephen Post and Jill Neimark communicate the science and the spirit of genuine love. Ive spent many hours with Dr. Post, since he lives in my own city of Cleveland. He brings to the academy and community here a special calling to unite the scientific and the spiritual in a triumphant synthesis. The words in this book show you how to be powerful, courageous, forgiving, and completely humanwhile at the same time going above and beyond the accustomed boundaries of human behavior.

I know about the forces that fight love. It was during my college years that the lynching of Emmett Till took place in Mississippi and that Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama, and above all, it was during my college years that the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. mentored me and I became a disciple and leader in the nonviolent sit-in movement in Atlanta. I learned then, so long ago, that the world needs apostles of love and ambassadors of peace. As Robert Kennedy said often in his days of campaigning, quoting Tennyson: Come, my friends, tis not too late to seek a newer world.

All great men and women have known this about love: it is not too late, and it is the way to a new world. To Mahatma Gandhi, love was Satyagraha (truth force). And so Gandhi broke the yoke of British colonialism in India without a gun. To Jesus and his disciples, love was redemption. For the Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, love is the one reality that gives meaning to life in all dimensions.

There is a beautiful message in the book of Isaiah, chapter 35, verse 1, and part of that verse reads, The desert shall rejoice and blossom like a rose. This idea has guided my ministry in times of highest joy and deepest pain, suffering, and sorrow. Just five words capture what I would like to say to introduce the book that follows: the desert and the rose.

Life brings to us many deserts, many desert experiences. And if we are pilgrims rather than tourists in life, our journey will always take us through the desert, through the wilderness. Yes, life is filled with deserts.

Sometimes there are relational deserts. Relationships that have been built across many years and have passed through many seasons come to moments in time when they seem to be nothing but a desertdry, parched, negative. Sometimes the garments we wear, the vehicle in which we ride, the house where we reside, are all quality products, but underneath it all is a scorching heat, a burning desert that leaves our relationships empty of meaning, empty of content, empty of substance.

Sometimes there are economic deserts on our journey. Deserts of recession and unemployment. And we can count in our own nation tens of millions of individuals who stand in desert places uninsured.

Sometimes sickness can become a desert. I remember many years ago when I was the pastor of a wonderful church in Cincinnati, Ohio. It became my responsibility to go to the hospital to visit one of our members. As I entered the hospital room of Sister Leola McNair, she greeted me with great enthusiasm, then told me, When I entered the hospital, I was prepared for one leg to be amputated. I knew I would lose one of my legs. But since I have been in the hospital I have discovered that I must have both legs removed.

And I stood there frozen, wondering, What can I say? All of my seminary training had not prepared me adequately for this moment. As I paused, waiting for some meaningful word to come, she spoke, literally, for me. She looked at me and confided, I have been here in my bed thinking about all the wonderful things Im going to do with my hands when I go home from the hospital.

Now, Sister McNair did not say, If I go home but when I go home from the hospital. And then she said, From my early childhood I learned to sew, to knit, to crochet, to cook, and to do remarkable things with my hands. I have been going over in my mind all of the marvelous things I will do with my hands. She paused and added, I think I will bake you a cake.

Here, in this challenging, profound, almost overwhelming moment, she not only brought wisdom and a sense of purpose, but she brought a sense of humor. In the desert of her sickness, she planted a rose. I will never forget her and what she gave to me in that instant. Her future as a double amputee did not mar her view of life or break her spirit. If anything, it caused her to pull up from the great spiritual well inside her a greater and more profound witness to true courage and love. She went home, where she lived alone on Social Security income. She did just as she proclaimed. She began to do wonderful things with her hands. And in her wheelchair we saw the power of love at work. Nobody could feel sorry for Sister Leola McNair because she was so busy, so engaged in bringing help and hope to others.

There are Sister McNairs everywhere. Perhaps you are one. From Sunday to Sunday I look out into a sea of faces, and some have gone through triple bypass surgery, or witnessed death in untimely ways, or simply endured the daily struggles of life, and yet they sing Hallelujah in a new key. These are remarkable witnesses to what can happen in an individuals life through the power of love. Love remakes us and gives us new courage and new strength.

And so, as you read this book, think about the desert and the rose. When you are in a desert, plant a rose. Plant a rose of liberation. Plant a rose of peace, a rose of reconciliation, and a rose of faith, hope, and love. And the desert will blossom. I hope this book will change your life.

One

Find the Fire

I f I could take one word with me into eternity, it would be give.

For the past eighteen years Ive taught medical ethics at Case Western University Medical School, and since 2001 Ive run a research institute dedicated to exploring the extraordinary power of giving. Weve funded over fifty studies at forty-four major universities.