Timothy Sharp - Live Happier, Live Longer: Your guide to positive ageing and making the most of life

Dr Timothy Sharp is a psychologist with an impressive record as an academic, clinician and coach. He runs one of Sydneys most respected clinical psychology practices, a highly regarded executive coaching practice and is the founder of The Happiness Institute, Australias first and largest organisation devoted solely to enhancing happiness in individuals, families and organisations.

He is Adjunct Professor (in Positive Psychology) within the School of Management, Faculty of Business at the University of Technology Sydney and also an Adjunct Professor (Positive Psychology) within the School of Health Sciences at RMIT University.

As well as being a best-selling author, Dr Sharp is a sought-after public speaker.

www.thehappinessinstitute.com

ALSO BY DR TIMOTHY SHARP

The Happiness Handbook
100 Ways to Happiness: A Guide for Busy People
The Good Sleep Guide
100 Ways to Happy Children: A Guide for Busy Parents
10 Simple Steps to Overcoming Depression

LIVE
HAPPIER

LIVE
LONGER

Dr Timothy Sharp

Published by Allen & Unwin in 2014

Copyright Dr Timothy J. Sharp 2014

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.

Allen & Unwin
Sydney, Melbourne, Auckland, London

83 Alexander Street
Crows Nest NSW 2065
Australia
Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100
Fax: (61 2) 9906 2218
Email: info@allenandunwin.com
Web: www.allenandunwin.com

Cataloguing-in-Publication details are available
from the National Library of Australia
trove.nla.gov.au

ISBN 978 1 74331 918 5

eISBN 978 1 74343 779 7

Text design by Melissa Keogh
Typeset by Bookhouse, Sydney

CONTENTS

Chapter 1
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF POSSIBILITY

Chapter 2
REDEFINING AGE

Chapter 3
PHYSICAL ACTIVITY AND EXERCISE: DIET, SLEEP AND REST

IN BETWEEN CHAPTERS THREE AND CHAPTER FOUR
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HELPFUL TO...

Chapter 4
COPING STYLES, MENTAL HEALTH AND HAPPINESS
(HOPE, OPTIMISM AND PLAY)

Chapter 5
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, CONNECTEDNESS
AND BELONGING

Chapter 6
DEALING WITH REGRETS AND RESOLVING OLD HURTS

Chapter 7
MATURATION, WISDOM, PERSONAL IDENTITY AND
REDEFINING WHO I AM

Chapter 8
MEANING, PURPOSE AND SPIRITUALITY

Chapter 9
PREPARING FOR DEATH (SO YOU CAN FULLY LIVE LIFE)

Chapter 10
CREATING A POSITIVE CONTEXT AND DAILY
HAPPINESS HABITS

God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

VOLTAIRE

Ive dedicated all of my previous books to my wonderful wife and my two beautiful children.

At the risk of being obvious, however, Id like to dedicate this publication to my parents, my parents-in-law and the memory of my grandparents. They have all, in different ways, provided me with support, inspiration and wisdom and theyve all been great examples of how age need not be a barrier to continuing to live a physically, mentally and socially active life, not to mention one thats meaningful and fulfilling.

In addition, Id like to make special mention of all the wonderful and inspirational people who agreed to be interviewed for this book. Their
stories have added so much colour and flavour, and Im extremely grateful to them for sharing their experiences, expertise and sagacity.

Thank you so much to all of you; and keep living well!

In Anna Karenina, Tolstoy famously observed, All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Id like to borrow and modify this and write that: All young people are alike: each old person is old in his or her own way.

This book is about what makes some older people significantly healthier and happier than others; its about how you too can be healthier and happier, regardless of age; and this book is also about how you can help your loved ones to be healthier and happier as they age.

It takes a long time to be young.
PICASSO

Obviously, I dont know you or the specifics of your life. But theres a good chance that youve been given a gifta gift that most likely is sitting unwrapped and unaccepted, probably even unrecognised and unacknowledged. A gift that most of us (and much of our culture) have not come to terms with, have not properly integrated into our thinking and not fully (or in many cases even partially) taken advantage of.

The gift is twenty to thirty years of lifeanother entire adult lifetimebecause thats the extra number of years youll probably live longer than your predecessors, only two or three generations ago. Some have referred to this as the longevity revolution, and this evolutionary improvement in life expectancy is a gift we should all be treasuring not ignoring, anticipating with excitement not fear. Its the gift of a third age because, properly enjoyed, this phase of life need not be one of illness or decline but rather, for the vast majority of us, one of growth, wisdom, maturity and more.

Why does this seem like such a radical concept? Why does it seem so at odds with our general view of ageing? Because many of us base our understanding of ageing on the universal concept of entropythe natural tendency for the universe and everything it contains to fall apart, to decline into chaos.

Yet although this may well apply in many areas of science and specifically physics theres a strong argument to be made that it definitely doesnt apply (or at least that it doesnt have to apply) to many aspects of ageingnotably, to those parts of our lives and of our physical beings that grow and improve over time, rather than decline and diminish.

What are these areas that advance and expand? Well, the gaining of wisdom, maturity, and sophistication and the enduring strength of the human spirit. These attributes, and so many others, can contribute to and provide the core components to positive ageing and this gift of the third age. These qualities are ones we all possess but ones whose benefits we may only enjoy once we have acknowledged their existence and actively decided to take responsibility for them.

And this is what this book is about; taking positive action and making positive plans to unwrap and accept the gift weve been lucky enough to have been given. Because as the old saying goes, If you fail to plan, youre planning to fail and failing in this scenario has some pretty serious consequences.

Just over twenty years ago, in 1992, Australias Prime Minister of the day, Paul Keating, and his Labor government introduced a compulsory Superannuation Guarantee system as part of a major reform package addressing Australias retirement income policies. This was in response to estimates that Australia, like many other Western countries, would experience a major demographic shift over the next few decades, resulting in the anticipated increase in age pension payments and their placing an unaffordable strain on the Australian economy.