Kari West - When He Leaves: Help and Hope for Hurting Wives

Only from deep pain could come these life-giving insightstools for surviving the darkness.

Elizabeth Sherrill, bestselling author
Roving Editor, Guideposts magazine

When He Leaves will give uplifting and inspirational challenges to the women who have endured overwhelming loss from a broken marriage. It will jump-start them on the road to becoming well againoffering encouragement that will be like fresh water to a thirsty soul.

Barbara Johnson, bestselling author

Kari West and Noelle Quinn invite you to share in their personal healing process. Carefully avoiding old-hat fix-it advice, they demonstrate that life not only will go forward, it can be done with a richer and deeper awareness of Gods tender guidance and care.

Les Carter, PhD, counselor, Minirth Clinic
author of Grace and Divorce

An empowering book for women experiencing the crucible of divorceI believe this book will be a cherished how-to-survive manual for those who want to go from being a victim to one who triumphs.

Nancie Carmichael, author, founder of Virtue Ministries

This book is important for pastors and those working with the divorcedAs portrayed and supported in this book, the proclamation of grace and forgiveness in divorce does not dilute Christian standards. It rather strengthens them.

Dr. Paul E. Larsen president, the Evangelical Covenant Church

Kari West and Noelle Quinn recount their own journeys through divorce country and offer what they have learned to help those struggling to accept, adjust, and create a new beginning. When He Leaves loudly proclaims that, with Gods help, there is life beyond divorce!

Jim Smoke author of Growing Through Divorce

Powerful scab-scraping honesty, empathy, vulnerabilitywhat encouragement and hope-giving is contained in these pages. Im a woman living out the truth of this bookThe emotions, thoughts, the soul of it are exactly where I have beenand am.

Dr. Karen J. Hayter, former host and producer of COPE, nationwide call-in television program

Rooted in vivid, realistic experience, this book deserves to rise to the top of the lists for women in whatever stage of divorce.

Dwight Small, author
professor emeritus, Westmont College

Kari and Noellestood with their pain. Through acceptance and persistence, they found what every redeemed divorced woman discovers when he leavesGods grace is sufficient.

Ingrid Trobisch, author
founder, Family Life Ministries, Quiet Waters Center

As a professor of clinical psychology and a therapist, I greatly look forward to recommending this work to my students, clients, and all who suffer similarlyas well as to professionals in helping positions.

Gary H. Strauss, EdD, associate professor,
Rosemead School of Psychology, Biola University

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

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Cover by Koechel Peterson & Associates, Inc., Minneapolis, Minnesota

WHEN HE LEAVES

Copyright 1998 by Kari West and Noelle Quinn

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

West, Kari.

When he leaves/Kari West and Noelle Quinn.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 0-7369-1586-9 (pbk.)

1. Divorced womenPsychology. 2. Divorced womenReligious life. 3. DivorcePsychological aspects. 4. DivorceReligious aspectsChristianity. 5. Separation (Psychology) I. Quinn, Noelle. II. Title.

HQ814.W48 2005

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

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To women

those who played a part in our lives,
the few whose selfless efforts made this book possible
and the many who, reading these words,
know exactly why we wrote them.

We are indebted to all those who believed we could talk about divorce with redemption. Humiliation with dignity. Private pain with transparency and truth. We want to thank the following:

Mt. Hermon Christian Writers Conference, Mt. Hermon, California, for bringing us together. Harvest House Publishers for affirming our vision and bringing this book back into print. Debbie Alsdorf, womens ministry leader, whose discovery of this book shortly after its original release ignited a passionate advocacy for its life-giving message.

Arlene Somerville and Jeanette Thomason for reading the finished manuscript on midnight oil after working day jobs. Dwight Small, Steve Severs, and the Bay Area Writers Critique Group for their feedback. Patricia Cousins and the reference librarians at the Alameda County Library for collateral information. Ingrid Trobisch and Dr. Larry Vold for their inspiration.

Sharon Kinard, for interceding for our protection throughout the writing process. Ethel Herr and the Literature Ministry Prayer Fellowship, who faithfully prayed for our discernment. Our parents for loving us and raising us to love our husbands and families. Karis husband, Richard, for his support, encouragement, and affirmation.

Kari and Noelle

Sharing those private places and the healing on its way to you

Word pictures from my scrapbook of memories

Word pictures from my scrapbook of memories