Michael Todd Wilson - Unburdened: The Christian Leaders Path to Sexual Integrity

Can you provide me with an updated email address for someone?

I was simply wanting to contact someone at InterVarsity Press whod worked on my previous book, Preventing Ministry Failure. His email address changed, a detail I noticed when a weekly newsletter I send bounced back to me. I was simply trying to update my email list.

If you have an idea for a book, let us know. Wed love to talk to you about it, her email replied.

I wasnt emailling about a book proposal, but I guess Ive always got a few ideas in my head, I responded.

And so this book began to take shape. More intentional on Gods part than my own, Id say. But honestly, thats probably the way it needed to be. Without that prompt, Im not sure I would have written it.

Credit is due to a number of sources beyond myself. First, Im grateful for the hundreds of Christian leaders Ive walked alongside whose stories include a broken sexual road. While none of their stories are directly told in Our Fellow Journeymen (chapter two), they are the chapters source of inspiration. Without my experiences alongside them on their respective recovery journeys, this book simply would not be. Their lessons through failure have now become lessons for proactive health and thriving for the rest of us.

Second, thank you to the dozens of men (and a few significant women too) whove looked at various versions of this manuscript including counseling colleagues, seminary professors, Christian ministry leaders and a few clients and buddies. Thanks for your critical feedback and significant encouragement along the way.

Third, thanks to Helen Lee and the editorial team at InterVarsity Press. Even though this is my third published book, I never cease to be amazed at how much better the final product is than the early manuscripts. The editorial team is the secret sauce of any good writing project. This time around has been no exception.

Fourth, a ton of credit goes to my wife, Tanya. Many a night (and a few key weekends) she sacrificed tirelessly, taking care of our two preschoolers to make this project possible. While many have compared writing a book with pregnancy and childbirth, her labor in this process was, in many ways, greater than my own.

Finally, as Ive already mentioned, this book originated with and terminates in God and his purposes. My heart is to see this book help men in all forms of Christian leadership avoid heartache and loss due to moral failure. The best way for the rest of us to do that is to learn from those whove experienced it firsthand and to intentionally practice principles that will either get us back on the road to integrity or help us avoid the detours in the first place.

I ask for grace for any errors youll likely encounter in this book. But more than a desire to be a grace recipient, I want to be a grace conduit. Its my earnest desire to help you, the Christian leader, experience Gods grace along the path to sexual integrity.

Yes, there is absolute truth. We both wholeheartedly agree to that. But where we fall short (and we all do to some degree), there is also redemptioneven for the Christian leader.

May we walk by grace alone, and only for his glory.

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Welcome to the Path

The author who benefits you most is not the one who tells you something you did not know before, but the one who gives expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for utterance.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (December 15)

Tom and Jonathan have been racquetball buddies for years. Every Tuesday, they get together at the gym for a competitive, yet friendly rematch.

Did you hear about Pastor Phillips affair? Jonathan said in disbelief. I cant believe its true. Id never have guessed it would happen to him. Lots of people at his church are really angry right now. Might even cause a split. I just dont understand what causes somebody to take that kind of risk and lose everything that matters to them. Do you?

Tom felt his muscles tense and a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. His mind raced with thoughts for changing the subject or finding some socially acceptable response. Though hed never engaged in an affair, Tom regularly battled lustful thoughts about women and sometimes became preoccupied with searching the Internet for R-rated movies with sex scenes, though he never really understood why.

Jonathans tone caused Tom to feel as if he were being interrogated.

No idea, Tom replied, trying to hide his emotional defensiveness. I have no idea.

A Tale of Two Questions

Do you struggle with sexual integrity? seems like a straightforward enough question.

But now consider another question: How do you struggle with sexual integrity?

The two sentences only differ by one word. Yet the difference between them represents a significant shift Id like to see among Christian leadership.

The first question begs us to not tell the truth or, at least, to tell only part of the truth. The second question not only makes the assumption that we struggle in some way, but it also signals its okay to talk about it.