David Thomas - Strong and Smart: A Boys Guide to Building Healthy Emotions

My name is David, and Im a counselor who works with boys and their parents. Ive been doing this work for twenty-five years. I have a yellow lab named Owen. Hes like many boys I meet withhe has a lot of energy, likes to be active, and loves people.

Owen is a therapy dog, which means he went to school for a long time to learn to be helpful when kids feel big feelings. He likes to celebrate when they feel happy about their birthday, winning a soccer game, learning a new instrument, or building a Lego project. He wants to be supportive when kids feel sad about their grandparent dying, a family dog being sick, not getting picked for a team, or their parents getting a divorce. He hopes to be helpful when kids feel angry about finishing screen time, annoying siblings, hurtful friends, or losing a baseball game.

Owen is loyal and loving. Hes a good listener and extremely patient. I learn a lot from him about how to be a supportive friend.

Hes helped me and boys I spend time with learn how to be a better son, brother, and friend. He does have a bad habit of standing too close. Hes learning to give people more personal space. Sometimes he licks folks when they dont want to be licked. Hes just trying to be friendly, but sometimes people want some alone time. These are hard lessons to learn, arent they?

Owen has helped a lot of boys learn how to work through big emotions like sad, lonely, and angry. Thats an important thing to learn. This workbook is going to help you do that. If youre reading this with your parent, my guess is that youre already strong and smart, like the title of this workbook. You have good ideas. Youre a great problem-solver. Your teachers would call you an awesome student.

I bet youre strong as well. You may be able to run fast, lift heavy things, and play challenging sports. Im glad you can already do many things with your brain and body. I want to help you build strong and smart emotional muscles too.

Think about Superman. You know how strong he is. He can lift trains and planes. Hes also really smart. He knows when people are in danger and who the bad guys are. He doesnt just have strong physical muscles, he has strong emotional muscles. He cares deeply for his friends and family. He cares about all of humanity, or he wouldnt put himself in the way of danger. Thats what makes him heroic. Thats the kind of strong and smart were working toward. Becoming emotionally strong.

When we are emotionally strong and smart, we can work through frustrating moments without yelling at people we love. We can be sad with our friends when they are hurting. We can become supportive to classmates who need a friend, because, like Superman, we can tell they are having a hard time.

Being emotionally strong and smart is like a superpower. You know how Spider-Man has a Spidey sense? He can sense danger, immediately makes a plan, and springs into action. God designed our bodies to signal us in the same way. If we learn to listen to those signals, they can be clues telling us whats happening, and we can brainstorm what to do and then spring into action.

Batman is another superhero who can do amazing things. He has a signal that tells him when hes needed. As long as he pays attention to the Bat-Signal, he can jump into the Batmobile and be ready to help. If Batman stopped paying attention to the Bat-Signal, or if Spider-Man ignored his Spidey sense, there would be more danger and less help.