Thomas J. Harbin - The Anger Management Workbook for Teen Boys: CBT Skills to Defuse Triggers, Manage Difficult Emotions, and Resolve Issues Peacefully

I am thrilled to have another valuable resource like Thomas Harbins Beyond Anger , now for teen boys. Harbin reaches out to teens about understanding their anger. He offers them concrete activities that will engage their attention and help them with their exaggerated emotions and distorted thinking. This book is an important tool to use in therapy, or for those who refuse to go.

Rhoda Mills Sommer, LCSW, ACSW , in private practice for forty years, podcaster for What Healthy Couples Know that You Dont , and author of Dancing with Your Lizard Brain

This book goes far deeper than coping skills, and examines the roots of anger, guiding teens toward insight and self-acceptance.

Mark Purcell, PsyD , clinical psychologist; professor of psychology at Cal State East Bay; and coauthor of Mindfulness for Teen Anger and Teaching Kids to Pause, Cope, and Connect

Thomas Harbin is skilled at helping adolescent boys understand the emotion of anger and how it may be impacting their overall well-being. More importantly, Harbin teaches youth healthy and practical ways to channel their anger by offering developmentally appropriate activities packed full of useful coping tools. The Anger Management Workbook for Teen Boys is a must-have book for adolescent boys, parents, educators, and therapists.

Raychelle Cassada Lohmann , clinical mental health counselor, assistant professor, and author of The Anger Workbook for Teens

In The Anger Management Workbook for Teen Boys, Thomas Harbin has created a comprehensive and practical guide for processing adolescent anger in constructive ways. Anger is a huge challenge for so many teenagers. This book explains the purpose and impact of anger while supplying concrete tools to promote emotional regulation. I will be recommending this book to my clients so they can better understand themselves, cultivate healthier relationships, and build a happier life.

Aaron Karmin, LCPC , author of Anger Management Workbook for Men and Instant Anger Management

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2022 by Thomas J. Harbin

Instant Help Books

An imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

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www.newharbinger.com

The Anger Attacks Questionnaire is copyright 2008 The General Hospital Corporation. Except where otherwise noted, this content is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/legalcode). In addition to the terms and conditions set forth therein including, but not limited to, the Disclaimer of Warranties and Limitation of Liability, this content is made available subject to the following conditions: THE CONTENT HAS NOT BEEN REVIEWED OR APPROVED BY THE UNITED STATES FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION OR ANY OTHER AGENCY AND IS MADE AVAILABLE FOR RESEARCH AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES, ONLY. THE CONTENT IS PROVIDED AS IS AND MUST NOT BE USED TO MAKE A CLINICAL DIAGNOSIS OR REPLACE OR OVERRULE A LICENSED HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONALS JUDGMENT.

The Dimensions of Anger Reaction (DAR) scale is copyright R.W. Novaco. Used by permission.

Cover design by Amy Shoup; Acquired by Jess OBrien; Edited by Jean Blomquist

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file

For Mimi

Contents

Introduction

If you are reading this, either you have decided that you are angry or someone else has told you that you are angry. Your anger may rob you and those around you of much of the joy in life. Does it seem that you dont have much fun with your family? Does it seem that no one likes or understands you? Is it hard for you to relax and go with the flow? Do you feel like an outsider? If youre like many angry guys, you may be confused as to why your life isnt better. It may be due to your anger. While it may surprise you, much of the disappointment and unhappiness in your life may be due to your anger. Many teens have a pretty narrow view of what anger is. If you arent yelling and screaming, getting in fights, or breaking things, does this mean that you arent angry? No!

what is anger?

Anger is an emotion like any other emotion. Anger is not good or bad. It just is. Its part of your makeup, part of existing as a human being. However, there are some things we need to consider:

• How much anger do you feel?
• How often do you get angry?
• What does it take to get you angry?
• How long does it take for you to calm down?
• What do you do when you are angry?

It may surprise you to learn that anger is not a simple, single thing. Its complex and multifaceted. For example, anger has emotional components, such as feelings of being mad, unhappy, frustrated, and depressed. But anger also affects how we think. Angry people tend to be suspicious, stubborn, defensive, and sarcastic. Excessive anger also affects your body. This can make you feel tired, give you headaches, or leave you with neck, back, or stomach pain. Anger has also been shown to affect your health and is correlated with many diseases.

Finally, anger affects the way you act. Angry guys do a lot of arguing, often for no reason. Angry guys tend to do dangerous things, like drive recklessly, take risks, accept dares, abuse drugs or alcohol, and have unprotected sex. And most dangerous of all, angry guys often damage property or hit people when they get angry.

The purpose of this book is not to eliminate all of your anger. Sometimes it is appropriate to be angry. When someone does something unfair to you, its appropriate to be angry. When you or someone you love is mistreated, its natural for you to be angry. But getting angry over trivia can be self-defeating. Letting your anger persist and go on and on will just make you miserable. And you shouldnt do things that youll later regret just because you are angry.

This workbook has a number of activities to help you decide if you have too much anger, if your anger is hurting you or those around you, and if you might want to work on it. Youll find ideas for managing the frustrations and problems that lead to anger, and strategies for keeping your cool when you might otherwise explode. Hopefully, anger will become a less prominent part of your life and leave you happier and more optimistic about yourself and the world.

Note: Various worksheets and other materials are available for download at the website for this book: http://www.newharbinger.com/49074.

But Im Not Angry!

for you to know

Many young guys are unhappy for years because they refuse to acknowledge and address their problem anger. Its hard to admit any imperfection, including excessive anger. They feel as though any problem, failure, or inability is an indication that theres something wrong with them. So, they try to cover up these flaws by denying them.

This denial can be comforting in the short run. If you convince yourself that you dont have a problem with anger, you can protect yourself from the guilt and embarrassment that can arise from admitting the anger. Do you tend to blame others for arguments or give good reasons for your angry outbursts? Have you denied some of the things that you actually said and did? Unfortunately, the benefit of denial is illusory, because the problems caused by your anger are still there and will probably get worse. If you twist your ankle and use medication to numb the pain, your ankle will feel better until the medication wears off. However, the temporary relief from pain may lead you to neglect the damage that has been done to your ankle and let you continue to walk on it. Unfortunately, this may cause your ankle to get much worse. The pain was a signal that something was wrong and needed attention.