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Gayle Rosellini - Of Course Youre Angry: A Guide to Dealing with the Emotions of Substance Abuse

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Of Course Youre Angry: A Guide to Dealing with the Emotions of Substance Abuse: summary, description and annotation

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Though we may not like to admit it, all of us get angry. At times we feel irked, exasperated, irritated, resentful, even enraged. Anger is a normal and healthy human emotion; learning to acknowledge and express it appropriately, however, especially for those in early recovery, is another story. First published in 1985, this timely revision of the best-selling Hazelden title on the nature and resolution of anger shows us how to make anger work in a positive and effective way that can ease, rather than exacerbate, the problems and challenges of early recovery. In a friendly, nonconfrontive manner, Of Course Youre Angry guides readers to discover the source of their anger and the forms it takes--such as violence, depression, resentment, and manipulation. Authors Gayle Rosellini and Mark Worden continue by exploring various anger styles, and then provide clear, sensible, and practical guidelines for expressing anger, conquering common conceits, and wrangling with rancor. Their real-life examples and down-to-earth advice for dealing with anger without fear or guilt--and without hurting oneself or others--offers addicts as well as their family members and friends a way passed one of the most dangerous pitfalls of early recovery.

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title Of Course Youre Angry A Guide to Dealing With the Emotions of - photo 1

title:Of Course You're Angry : A Guide to Dealing With the Emotions of Substance Abuse
author:Rosellini, Gayle.; Worden, Mark.
publisher:Hazelden Publishing
isbn10 | asin:1568381417
print isbn13:9781568381411
ebook isbn13:9780585156279
language:English
subjectAlcoholics--Family relationships, Anger, Alcoholics--Psychology.
publication date:1997
lcc:HV5132.R674 1997eb
ddc:362.292/3
subject:Alcoholics--Family relationships, Anger, Alcoholics--Psychology.
Page i
Of Course You're Angry
A Guide to Dealing with the Emotions of Substance Abuse
Second Edition
By
Gayle Rosellini & Mark Worden
Picture 2HAZELDENPicture 3
INFORMATION & EDUCATIONAL SERVICES
Page ii
Hazelden
Center City, Minnesota 55012-0176
1-800-328-0094 (Toll Free U.S., Canada, and the Virgin Islands)
1-651-213-4590 (24-hour Fax)
http://www.Hazelden.org (World Wide Web site on Internet)
1985, 1997 by Hazelden Foundation
All rights reserved. First published 1985. Second Edition 1997
Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Rosellini, Gayle.
Of course you're angry: a guide to dealing with the emotions of
substance abuse / by Gayle Rosellini & Mark Worden.rev. ed.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 1-56838-141-7
1. AlcoholicsFamily relationships. 2. Anger. 3. Alcoholics
Psychology. I. Worden, Mark. II. Title.
HV5132.R674 1997
362.292 '3dc21 96-37533
Picture 4Picture 5 CIP
02 01 00 99 6 5 4
Book design by Will H. Powers
Cover design by David Spohn
Typesetting by Stanton Publication Services, Inc.
Editor's note
All the stories in this book are based on actual experiences. All identifying information has been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.
Page iii
Dedicated
to the memory of
Michelle Abdill
and Roxanne Ellis
Page v
Contents
1. Anger and Recovery
1
2. In the Beginning, the Family Created Anger
13
3. Anger Styles I: To Feel or Not to Feel
23
4. Anger Styles II: Beyond Bad Temper
31
5. Anger Styles III: Nice People
48
6. Resentments
59
7. Conquering Our Common Conceits
72
8. The Ventilation Trap
85
9. Wrangling without Rancor
98
10. Beyond the Serenity Prayer
113
Index
125
About the Authors
131

Page 1
1
Anger and Recovery
It's after midnight and Donna is furious.
WhydoIputupwithit?Doesanyonereallyneedthistorture?Whyisn'tJimhomeyet?HeleftforhisAAmeetingataquartertoeight. It'saquartertooneandhe'sstillgone!ThedamnmeetingonlylastsanhourandahalfWhereishe?Ifhe'sinatavern
No, don'teventhinkit. It'sbeenayear. Jim'sbeensoberayear. Hewouldn't. Hecouldn't.
Whereishe?
Crouched into a corner of the sofa, Donna huddles in an agony of fear, worry, and resentment.
Questions swirl through her mind. Wasn't Jim's getting sober supposed to make everything better? Wasn't it supposed to be the start of a bright new life, a life unmarred by the turmoil and arguments of the old drinking days? Hadn't she gone to all those meetings and read all those books just like the counselor recommended? Hadn't she accepted the fact that substance abuse is a family disease; that, in her own way, she'd been just as sick as Jim? Hadn't she done her share, for God's sake, to patch together the shreds of a marriage slashed to pieces by too much drinking and too much gambling at the local casino?
She herself hadn't been to the casino in a year. She'd given up bingo and video poker. That hadn't been easy. And when
Page 2
she went to one of her Twelve Step meetings, she came straight home afterwards. Why couldn't Jim do the same?
Whereishe?
If recovery was so wonderful, why was their marriage still awful? Why the pounding heart? the clenched jaws? the aching, crushing pressure in her chest every time Jim pulled another one of these stunts? Didn't he know what they did to her?
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