Karmin - Instant Anger Management: Quick and Simple CBT Strategies to Defuse Anger on the Spot

As a therapist, I have found anger to be one of the most complicated, confusing emotions that people have, yet few resources deal with this topic. Instant Anger Management provides a comprehensive and easy-to-understand guide to coping with anger, including why we get angry and how to handle anger without becoming destructive. People will like the try this sections, which clearly describe strategies to manage anger and stay emotionally healthy.

Marisol Hanley, PhD , psychologist, and partner at Seattle Psychology PLLC

A much-needed resource, this book makes anger management easily accessible and relatable. This book is a must-have for therapists helping clients identify go-to strategies that truly work in diffusing anger. Beyond therapists, I highly recommend this book as a must-read; anyone can benefit from having tools in dealing with anger. Aaron has made anger management straightforward and simple!

Melissa A. Frey, LCSW , therapist, and owner of Frey & Associates

Karmins book normalizes the experience of anger and empowers the readerthrough easily accessed toolsto shift their relationship to anger, rather than needing to eradicate those feelings entirely. Through his wise guidance and many years as a skilled therapist, Karmin offers readers an inner transformation, leading to increased resilience and self-control. Highly practical and incredibly insightful, this book can help ground you, guide you, and help you grow.

Cori Dixon-Fyle, LCSW , founder and psychotherapist at Thriving Path, a counseling practice in Chicago, IL

Aarons second book gets right down to the techniques readers will need. He teaches readers how to question the assumptions fueling anger, and how to feel calmer and reinterpret the problem. He also looks at ways people can respond to someone elses anger. He teaches multiple ways to handle any situation so the reader can find a solution that works for them. Its a beginner-friendly guide in relatable language.

Aimee Daramus, PsyD , licensed clinical psychologist specializing in mental illness, and author of Understanding Bipolar Disorder

You wont find more bang for your buck in any self-help book on the market. Karmin uses his twenty years of clinical experience to effectively and decisively cut through the noise to deliver you this remarkably helpful text. This book is so jam-packed with (literally hundreds of) concrete things you can do to harness your anger today, that you may actually have difficulty closing it.

Nathan R. Hydes, PhD, ABPP , board-certified clinical psychologist

I am so glad that Aaron Karmin wrote this book. In our busy, chaotic times, it is easy to let anger overcome us. This book provides straightforward, step-by-step guidance to help develop healthy skills to combat unhealthy anger and rage. I will be recommending this book to my clients with anger issues!

Susan L. Bank, MD , psychiatrist in private practice in Chicago, IL

Anger management is a skill that can be developed and can improve our lives personally, professionally, and financially. Aaron Karmin is a seasoned expert who makes anger management simple with clear tutorials, practical tips, and proven strategies from cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). This book is a wonderful resource, chock-full of wisdom that will help you quickly and easily improve your emotional intelligence and your life.

Joyce Marter, LCPC , licensed psychotherapist, founder of Urban Balance, national public speaker, and author of The Financial Mindset Fix

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

In consideration of evolving American English usage standards, and reflecting a commitment to equity for all genders, they/them is used in this book to denote singular persons.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

NEW HARBINGER PUBLICATIONS is a registered trademark of
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Copyright 2021 by Aaron Karmin

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Sara Christian; Interior design by Amy Shoup and
Michele Waters-Kermes; Acquired by Jess OBrien; Edited by Brady Kahn

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Karmin, Aaron, author.

Title: Instant anger management : quick and simple cbt strategies to defuse anger on the spot / Aaron Karmin.

Description: Oakland : New Harbinger Publication, 2021.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021014192 | ISBN 9781684038398 (trade paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Anger. | Cognitive therapy. | Self-help techniques.

Classification: LCC BF575.A5 K367 2021 | DDC 152.4/7--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021014192

Introduction

In todays world, its usually not the large thingsthe big, identifiable thingsthat lead to eruptions of hostility. Its the little, tiny things going on all the time that build up and cause anger. Its missing a parking place; its the person in the grocery line with eleven items in their basket when theyre only supposed to have ten. Its having the phone ring when were trying to concentrate, or calling up somebody and then being left on hold, only to be disconnected. Here are more common examples of events or issues that can trigger anger:

• Long waits to see your doctor
• Traffic congestion
• Crowded buses
• A friend joking about a sensitive topic
• A friend not paying back money you loaned them
• Being falsely accused
• Having to clean up someone elses mess
• An untidy roommate
• A neighbor who plays music too loud
• Being given wrong directions
• Rumors being spread about you that are not true
• Having money or property stolen from you

Everyday events such as these can provoke our anger. Many times, specific events touch on sensitive areas in our life. These sensitive areas, like red flag warnings, usually relate to long-standing issues that can easily lead to anger.

While you may feel that you can do little to control your anger, there are things you can do to make a difference. This book aims to help you cope with anger. It includes techniques to help you begin to understand and deal with your anger in practical ways. Through this book, you will learn how to manage angers impact on your body, mood, thoughts, and behavior in healthy ways. You will explore the purpose of anger and how to take responsibility for your choices. This book will help you identify situations that can quickly escalate your feelings of anger and provide you with skills to communicate more effectively.

PART 1:

How Anger Works

Everyone gets angry. Some people express their anger but then feel guilty about it. Others suppress angry feelings because they think anger is not nice. Others have difficulty expressing anger and get angry at themselves for not being able to express themselves. Some just lash out. Getting to know what triggers anger and how to react effectively can help us manage anger in a positive way.

Anger is an instinctual emotional response triggered by a real or imagined threat. Because anger is painful, we seek relief. Most people feel angry when someone or something obstructs them in some way. And many people respond to the feeling of anger by immediately wanting the satisfaction of forcing the obstacle out of the wayor, if it wont move, to curse and insult it. Anger management involves not saying or doing something that we will later regret. It involves calming ourselves, making a cool-headed assessment of the situation, and taking sensible action. To break the anger habit, we must develop an awareness of the events, circumstances, and behaviors of others that trigger our anger. This awareness also involves understanding the negative consequences that result from anger.