Smith - Anger Management For Dummies

Anger Management For Dummies, 3rd Edition

Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774, www.wiley.com

Copyright 2022 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey

Published simultaneously in Canada

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions .

Trademarks: Wiley, For Dummies, the Dummies Man logo, Dummies.com, Making Everything Easier, and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of John Wiley & Sons, Inc., and may not be used without written permission. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. John Wiley & Sons, Inc., is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book.

LIMIT OF LIABILITY/DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY: THE CONTENTS OF THIS WORK ARE INTENDED TO FURTHER GENERAL SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH, UNDERSTANDING, AND DISCUSSION ONLY AND ARE NOT INTENDED AND SHOULD NOT BE RELIED UPON AS RECOMMENDING OR PROMOTING A SPECIFIC METHOD, DIAGNOSIS, OR TREATMENT BY PHYSICIANS FOR ANY PARTICULAR PATIENT. THE PUBLISHER AND THE AUTHOR MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THE ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THE CONTENTS OF THIS WORK AND SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. IN VIEW OF ONGOING RESEARCH, EQUIPMENT MODIFICATIONS, CHANGES IN GOVERNMENTAL REGULATIONS, AND THE CONSTANT FLOW OF INFORMATION, THE READER IS URGED TO REVIEW AND EVALUATE THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THE PACKAGE INSERT OR INSTRUCTIONS FOR EACH MEDICINE, EQUIPMENT, OR DEVICE FOR, AMONG OTHER THINGS, ANY CHANGES IN THE INSTRUCTIONS OR INDICATION OF USAGE AND FOR ADDED WARNINGS AND PRECAUTIONS. READERS SHOULD CONSULT WITH A SPECIALIST WHERE APPROPRIATE. NEITHER THE PUBLISHER NOR THE AUTHOR SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES ARISING HEREFROM.

For general information on our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 877-762-2974, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3993, or fax 317-572-4002. For technical support, please visit https://hub.wiley.com/community/support/dummies .

Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com . For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com .

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021944239

ISBN 978-1-119-82827-3 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-82828-0 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-119-82829-7 (ebk)

1. Chapter 1
2. Chapter 2
3. Chapter 3
4. Chapter 4
5. Chapter 5
6. Chapter 6
7. Chapter 9
8. Chapter 12
9. Chapter 17
10. Chapter 18
11. Chapter 22

1. Chapter 10

Anger is part of life no less than memory, happiness, and compassion. Anger says more about you, including your temperament, how you view the world, how balanced your life is, and how easily you forgive others, than it does about other people. You dont have to be a victim of your own anger; you can actually choose how you respond when the world doesnt treat you the way you want it to.

In fact, you have just as much choice about how you express your anger as you do about what color shirt you wear, what you eat for breakfast, or what time you go jogging this afternoon. Although it often feels like you dont have a choice about feeling angry, you do. You also have a choice about how much of yesterdays anger you carry into the future and how much anger youre likely to experience tomorrow.

No one is exempt from problematic anger. Anger is a very democratic emotion; it causes problems for men and women, kids and the elderly, rich and poor, educated and uneducated, people of all colors and ethnic backgrounds, believers and nonbelievers. Tens of millions of human beings needlessly suffer from excessive anger anger that literally poisons each and every day of their lives.

Anger isnt something that can or should be cured. But youd be well advised to manage it at home, at work, and in your most intimate relationships. This book tells you how to manage your anger by focusing on the positive, get a good nights sleep, change your perspective on life, transform conflicts into challenges, and much more. Anger management has moved far beyond the simplistic (albeit well-intentioned) advice of years past to count to ten or take a couple of deep breaths every time you get angry, and thats good news!

How do you know when you have too much anger? Do you determine that for yourself, or do you let other people make that call? If youre not physically aggressive physically hurting other people or poking holes in walls does that mean youre not angry? Does it really help to vent, to get things off your chest, or are you better off keeping your mouth shut to keep the peace? Can angry people really change, or do they have to go through life suffering because thats just the way they are? And what should you do if youre on the wrong end of someone elses anger? These are all important questions that Anger Management For Dummies, 3rd Edition, answers for you.

This purpose of this book is to present you with new ways to look at anger:

• Anger is more than a four-letter word; its an extremely complex emotion that has meaning well beyond the crude and hurtful words people use to express it.
• Anger can, and does, adversely affect your life when it occurs too frequently and is too intense.
• Managing anger is something that is within your power if youre willing to make the necessary lifestyle changes outlined in this book: changes in thinking, behaviors, communication, and habits.

Fortunately, there are many skills for managing difficult situations without excessive anger. You may want to focus on the area in which youre having the most trouble controlling your temper at work, for example. Or you may want to head straight for a chapter on jump-starting anger management. You dont need to read the whole book. Thats up to you.

Note: Sidebars in this book contain interesting information, but they arent essential reading. If youre someone who likes to cut to the chase, go ahead and skip the sidebars.

Here are a couple of assumptions that I have about you as the reader: