Gill Bloxham - Managing Anger with CBT for Dummies

Introduction

A nger managements a hot topic these days. Many sources claim that people are more stressed and angry now than in the generations before them. Anger is normal, a natural emotion thats part of your survival mechanism. Anger management doesnt try to get rid of or stop your anger. Instead, managing your anger means staying in control of your feelings, thinking before reacting. Getting the best from life is about solving problems instead of reacting in ways that cause you more trouble. I think of anger management as a life skill. Life skills are skills you learn to run your life smoothly with, such as looking after yourself, getting on with people, managing money, communicating, learning new things and solving problems. The ways you manage your anger now are the habits youve learned; by learning new ideas and tactics, you can make the changes youre looking for.

A couple of essentials are needed for success with your anger management. Accepting that learning how to control your angers like learning anything driving, speaking a new language, cooking, working, dancing means youll take time and put in genuine effort to pick up good habits. As a guideline, most people work on anger management for three to six months before the changes really start to feel familiar. If that sounds a long time, think that its only 1224 weeks of your life. Not bad, considering youve taken your whole life so far to develop your habits. Its not simple, or even possible, to change your anger overnight. But even setbacks are just another chance to practise, when youre using cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). And accepting that youre the only one in control of your anger frees you up from thinking about other people and how they affect you. Your angers yours to control, so youre in charge youre not waiting for anyone else to agree theres a point to changing your anger habits or tackling your problems differently.

About This Book

Angers a normal human emotion. If you get angry, youre not unusual, wrong or crazy. Frustrations, outbursts, feeling too uncomfortable to speak up are all normal in life. If youre looking for ways to handle anger better, to get the results you really want from people and situations without losing your temper or feeling badly treated, or to get on without other peoples problems getting you down, then this books for you.

CBT is a world-recognised approach to dealing with human problems psychological, emotional and physical. An enormous amount of research shows that using CBT increases your chances of solving your problems, and that using CBT together with other help (including medication) if youre stuck has better results than going it alone.

Reading this book now can help you later. When youre irritated or angry and its leading to trouble, youll need information and tips to hand that have a good track record of success. Working out new ways to think, feel and act in the heat of the moment isnt practical by preparing in advance, youre giving yourself the best chance of success.

You can just browse through this book for interest, but I suggest you also get stuck in and try the many CBT tips and tactics, questionnaires, short exercises, record sheets and quizzes to help you make changes to manage your anger or the anger of others. This isnt a test, and no one else is looking at your answers, so be honest with yourself. The whole point of understanding your anger better is to make changes that benefit you.

The exercises are for practice; theyre not exams! You dont have to show anyone what you write or discover about yourself. Spelling and writing style dont matter either what you get out of an exercise does. Exercises also remind you later where you were to start with its all too easy to lose sight of how far youve come.

Practice makes perfect. Practising positive thinking, calm behaviour, a healthy lifestyle and daily stress control all make a difference. Improving your skills in anger management is one way to protect yourself from the ups and downs of life and from coming off worst.

If your anger has already got you in trouble with the law, using both this book and the help you may get from professionals doubles your chances of making changes for good.

Life can be wonderful but also unpredictable, unkind and unfair. Angers normal; its how you handle it that counts.

Conventions Used in This Book