Diane Forden - Bridal Guide Magazines How to Plan the Perfect Wedding... Without Going Broke

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WARNER BOOKS EDITION

Copyright 2003 by LifeTime Media, Inc. and Bridal Guide

All rights reserved.

Bridal Guide is a registered trademark of RFP, LLC and is used by permission

Hachette Book Group, 237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017

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Book Design: Amy V. Wilson

Photos: Getty Images

First eBook Edition: January 2003

ISBN: 978-0-446-55362-9

The Warner Books name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

Cover design by Claire Brown

Cover photographs left to right: Carin Krasner/Stone; Michael Grand; John E. Kelly/Food Pix

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all future brides and grooms. May you share a lifetime of happiness and romance.

I also dedicate this to my colleagues at Bridal Guide magazine, who make coming to work every day a treat, and to the editors, past and present, with whom I've had the pleasure to work over the years. Without their dedication, talent and enthusiasm for all things bridal, this book would not have been possible.

In addition, I would like to acknowledge those whose constant love and support enhance my life more than they know: my lifelong friends who fill my days with conversation and laughter, and my family, especially my beautiful mom, Helen, whose strength, caring and wisdom continue to inspire me, my wonderful siblings, Nancy, Sally and Michael, and their significant others, Brad Kelly, Mark Welton and Shirley. My incredible nephews and niece, Colin and Quinn Kelly, and Luke and Natasha Forden, have brought incomparable joy and fun into my life. Through them, I see the world with a renewed sense of hope and wonder, and I thank God for them every day.

Finally, I dedicate this book to my beloved father, Joseph, who taught me so much, especially his love of words, and to my cherished sister Suzanne, who taught me at a very young age how to love with an unselfish heart. You will both live in my heart forever.

~ Diane Forden

Congratulations!

You're Engaged!

W hat a feeling: you can't stop smilingand, of course, gazing at the glittering diamond ring he placed on your finger when he proposed; you wish you could broadcast your joy to the whole wide world (Newsflash! We're getting married!). And guess what? This is just the beginning

You and your fianc are about to embark on a joyfuland hectic time in your lives. You've probably fantasized since you were a little girl about what your wedding day would be like (including Prince Charming and the fairy-tale ceremony). In the first few weeks following your engagement, you'll be caught up in the excitement and emotion of your impending nuptials. But once reality sets in, you might be surprised at how much you need to do to prepare for the Big Day. There are dozens of details to iron out: Where and when will the wedding take place? How much will it cost? What will you wear?Whom will you invite? It can be overwhelming and even worse, overwhelmingly expensive.

Don't panic. This book can be your best friend. Whether you have a year or only a few months to get it all done, you'll find everything you need to plan the perfect wedding without going broke. Yes, it will require some serious effort and lots of decision making. But if you're organized from the start (use our worksheets, checklists, and charts to help you keep track of every detail), you'll have no trouble accomplishing everything in ample time, without stress, strife, and serious damage to your bank account.

Your Day, Your Way

Start by taking a deep breath and remembering one golden rule: this is your wedding. You and your groom are the stars of the show, and your happiness is most important. Once you announce your engagement, you'll find that everyone, from family and friends to total strangers, is full of advice and strong opinions on how you should do things. Thank them graciously for their kind and insightful words then use what you choose (the rest simply lose!). Often you'll receive great advice and ideas from those who have been through it before (see the It Worked for Me! boxes throughout this book for tips from recent brides). Just don't allow others, even if they mean well, to push you into something you don't want.

When booking a site or a service, always ask lots of questions (we'll give you several lists of good ones to take along), and make sure you're satisfied with the deal (yes, you can haggle) before you sign on the dotted line. Keep your dates, addresses, and payments neatly organized. Besides the information you record in this book, you'll want to save all invoices and contracts in a folder or box and maybe even keep a computerized account of all transactions, dates, and lists (check out the Bridal Guide website, www.bridalguide.com, for templates).

But don't get so caught up in the business of being a bride that you forget what a wonderful and special time this is for you as a couple. It shouldn't all be about budgeting and booking caterers. Enjoy yourselves and your engagement, and don't lose sight of the real reason you're going to all this trouble: your wedding day is a celebration of your love and devotion and the beginning of a beautiful future together.

Sharing the News of Your Future I Do's

The first people you should tell you're engaged are your family members: Mom and Dad, grandparents, siblings, aunts, and uncles. The bride's folks are traditionally the ones you inform first, and how you announce it to them is up to you. In person is preferable (if your fianc is very traditional, he might want to ask your dad for your hand in marriage before he proposes), but if your parents live far away, it might have to be a phone call. You can arrange a future date to visit. You should then call or visit the groom's parents, followed by calls to your closest family members and friends, especially those you will ask to be in your wedding party.

Traditionally, his mom should call your mom to exchange congratulations. Once everyone is informed of your engagement, you can organize a meet-and-greet prior to the wedding (assuming his folks and yours have never gotten together before). This should be casual and funchoose a place that is conveniently located for both families and will put everyone at ease. Of course, you might be a little anxious about how your clan and his will get alongthat's natural. After all, you're telling virtual strangers that they're about to become one big happy family! Give it timeand don't agonize if at first not everyone hits it off.

Mothers and Others: Deciding Who Will Be Involved

Those close to you (particularly mothers) will most likely volunteer to do anything and everything you need to prepare for your joyous occasion. But it's completely up to you how much of your pre-wedding work you want to delegate. You should first talk it over with your fianchow does he feel about your mom or his mom being involved? Does he regard it as considerate or intrusive?

It Worked for Me!

We live in Manhattan, my folks are in upstate New York, and my husband's family is in California, So we asked the telephone operator to set up a three-way conference call and we gave them the news simultaneously. Not only was it a great way to make sure both moms and dads felt equally important, it also helped break the ice between the in-laws. They were both, so happy and kept congratulating not just us, but each other.