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Paul J.J. Payack - A Million Words and Counting: How Global English Is Rewriting The World

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Paul J.J. Payack A Million Words and Counting: How Global English Is Rewriting The World
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From Babel to Babble . . . Everyone is Speaking English
In 2007, the English language passed the million-word mark. That shouldnt come as a surprise since over a billion Earthlings speak English (no one knows about other planets, but they probably speak it, too). That makes for a lot of word-coiners (neologists) out there. And where are all these new words coming from? Hollywood? Technology? The Internet? Corporate boardrooms? Youthspeak? How do world eventsfrom tsunamis and hurricanes to political doublespeak and presidential linguistic bumblinginfluence the words we use on a daily basis? What do e-mails, text messages, and emoticons contribute to the language?
Let WordMan Paul J.J. Payack take you on a global tour of English-speaking worldsvirtual and otherwise:
  • From India, Singapore, and China, to Australia, the U.S. and the U.K.
    • From film, television, fashion, music, politics, sports, games, business, technology and science
    • From TV junkies, fashionistas and sports fans, to amateur historians and linguists
    • And from every other source that contributes to the global tapestry of English
      Get ready for a whirlwind tour of our increasingly global culture and how it becomes that way.
      A Million Words? Fundoo!
      Podcast, Chinglish, truthiness, crunk. Just a year or two ago, these words were gibberish to most English speakers. Today they pop up in everyday conversation worldwide, just four of the ten thousand new words added to the English language every year. Spurred by the universality of the Internetwhere it is the de facto lingua francaand the global reach of its media, English is growing at a rate unprecedented in its 1500-year history. Indeed, in the spring of 2007, the English word count surpassed a millionover ten times the number available in French.
      At the crest of this linguistic tsunami surfs Paul J.J. Payack, aka the WordMan. As president of the Global Language Monitor, he has tracked the latest developmentsthe fascinating hybrids, the bizarre etymologies, the lasting malapropismsin the language shared by two billion of the Earths citizens. Aided by a worldwide network of similarly obsessed language mavens and armed with his own powerful word-counting algorithm, Payack ensures that no new English word falls from the tongue or marks the page without being counted toward the Million Word March.
      A Million Words and Counting is a celebration of the vast variety and ever-evolving expressiveness of humanitys most universal language. Fun and informative, this guide is a joyful exploration of English as it spreads across the globe, as it is spoken today, and as it expands into the future. Each entertaining chapter of this ambitious linguistic survey examines another source of new English, including Hollywood, youth culture, other languages, corporate boardrooms, and tongue-tied presidents. An engaging compendium of English-language facts and factoids, this is a trivia lovers goldmine and a logophiles playground.
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    Table of Contents Acknowledgments This book is the result of the hard - photo 1
    Table of Contents

    Acknowledgments
    This book is the result of the hard work of many people. First, I would like to thank the Zachary Shuster Harmsworth Agency, Lane Zachary and my agent, Rachel Sussman, who guided me in this project over many months, strengthening my original vision along the way. Id also like to acknowledge Richard Ember, my editor at Kensington Books, who was most understanding as the deadlines shifted ever so gently but, more importantly, helped shape this book, providing valuable insights, notes and suggestions throughout the process of creation and revision. I am also grateful to Michaela Hamilton, the editor-in-chief for Citadel Press, who has been a strong proponent of this book from the very beginning. Design and production of the book took dedicated efforts by Elleanore Waka, production manager, and Arthur Maisel, production editor. Included in the editorial process was the very fine work of Erin Curler, and John Dolan, with his constant advice and analysis of my early work, should be noted. I would be remiss if I did not mention the constant prayers and encouragement of my dear friend Ron Pinkston. I am deeply indebted to Robert L. Beard, a.k.a. Dr. Goodword. I would also like to thank the Global Language Monitors Language Police, who are each expert in their individual fields, including Lou Lorenzo, Joe and Michael Marcello, Peter, Michael and Peter Paul Payack, Michael Manewitz, and Rico Blazer, among the many others who come to the Global Language Monitor website and offer their observations, criticism, and encouragement. I have very special thanks to my daughter. Elisabeth Lauren, who provided countless hours of research and editorial assistance. Finally, Id like to thank the Lord, who provided me with the talent, native intelligence and resources to accomplish this work.
    Closing Thoughts
    The Future of Global English
    The conquest of Global English is nearly complete. It is impossible to hold back this tide. The tsunami of English has already swept over the earth. The question now is how to adjust to this new reality.
    I have several suggestions. The first would be to master the language. Yes, acknowledge the sea-change, disassociate yourself from any political misgivingsand get on with it. Global English is here and nowand here to stay. Global English will reside, preside, and thrive. At least in some form.
    Here are some possible threads of evolution (or devolution) of the language over the next four hundred years. I chose this perspective because that is the same temporal distance we are from the days of Shakespeare and the King James Bible.
    Keeping in mind that the best way to predict the future is to read the past, here are a number of differing scenarios, one of which will be the future of Global English:
    The Romanticization of English: The language devolves into various local dialects that in time become robust languages in themselves. The precedent for this, of course, is Latin splintering into the Romance languages (Italian, French, Portuguese, Romanian, and Spanish). As Latin is still the official language of the Vatican City state, English will remain spoken in certain enclaves in North Carolina, western Virginia, in the desert Southwest and possibly on a Pacific island or two.
    Return to Proto-Indo-European: Not as outlandish as it might seem, as the green movement decries the technological basis of much of Global English, and back-to-basics promotes the original P-I-E, bereft of millennia of human progress, as a green language.
    English captured by the Chinese: The Middle Kingdom strikes back and begins to stake a claim in English language ownership, much as America has done during the last century. The Chinese prove to be excellent caretakers of the language and develop many interesting ways to extend it throughout the Earth and beyond.
    Revenge of the nerdsLeetspeak strikes back: The nerds control the language. All words have dozens of spellings and meanings. Letters, numbers, and symbols intermix. Exposition is heavily encrypted. The precedent: the English language before Noah Webster and the OED. The many variations on Shakespeares name are mere childs play compared with the near-infinite variety of spellings your childrens children will be able to use for their names.
    Cyber English : The robots take control of the language. This form of English would be clipped and very precise (no fuzzy logic here). Come to think of it, this would be a great leap backward to the time of the Kings English, as spoken in, say, Colonial India.
    The number of words in the English language will increase a astronomically: Academics will no longer fret at counting the number of words because the conquest of English will no longer be tainted by political, cultural, and social concerns. Once freed, linguists will count words in the same manner that their scientific colleagues count the number of galaxies, stars and atomic nuclei.
    We will then be able to count all the words: every name of every fungus, all the technical jargon, YouthSpeak, all the lishes, everything.
    Dictionaries will no longer be the arbiters of whats a word. Questions of words standing the test of time will be rendered obsolete. Words will bubble forth as a frothy sea-foam of insight and meaning. If a word is used by millions or even thousands of influential elites, regardless of class or any form of identity (gender, ethnic, class, national, or social), it will be deemed a word and recorded for posterity.
    There will be no words, only thoughts: This is a rather difficult scenario to explore, since words all but disappear. Dictionaries will be replaced by something much more ethereal, sort of like a directory of dreams, ideas, and ideals.
    Whatever the future path, this modest branch of Proto-Indo-European that we now call Global English has taken a remarkable journey from a relatively few speakers upon a small sceptered isle on the fringes of an empire (who at the time were considered the rankest of barbarians), through the now-hallowed words of Shakespeare and the King James Bible, through those of Austen, Melville, Dickenson, Shaw, Conrad, Churchill, Gandhi, Borges, King, and Nabokov to the present of IMs and txt msgsand beyond.
    CHAPTER ONE
    The Million-Word March
    Never before in the history of the planet has a single language held as dominant a position as English does today. Some 1,350,000,000 people can now read this sentence in its original language. Think about that for a minute.
    This fact stuns the experts, who for the last couple of decades predicted that English would be overtaken by Spanish or Chinese or some postmodern artificial language that you and I could never quite fathom, let alone speak. English was, after all, the tongue of the now-defunct British Empire, the vehicle for spreading American imperialism, and the progenitor of most of the ills of the modern world.
    But a funny thing happened on the way to the funeral of the English language. It exploded! Rather than the great mass of humanity learning Chinese, the Chinese are learning Englishsome 250,000,000 of them by the latest count. Rather than the billion Indians of the Subcontinent rebelling against the language of their former subjugators, they are embracing it as the international language of science, engineering, and commerce. English is the primary language on the Internet, and in the entertainment world. On this planet of nearly 7,000 living languages (6,920 to be precise), English has become the first truly global language, the worlds lingua franca.
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