Dave Dornian - Canmore Sport Climbs

Chris and Dave would like to thank: Roger Chayer, and Levente Pinter for their photos. Jon Jones and John Martin, for direct help, as well as for the information borrowed from their guidebooks.

And our continuing appreciation for the encouragement, advice, comments, and critiques from Sarah Rainford, Keith Haberl, Brenda Critchley, Janet Miller, John Haigh, Walson Tai, JD LeBlanc, Eric Hoogstraten, Knut Rokne, and Dale Robotham.

plus all the others weve mocked, mauled, telephoned at work on short notice, or otherwise quoted out of context while composing this thing. Its been years, but its been so much fun we kind of lost track. Forgive us.

What You Need to Know

COOL

Despite what cable television and your mother might tell you, there is nothing extreme about sport climbing. It is a slow-moving, relatively routine pastime. It has nothing to do with wilderness, isolation, adventure, or danger. Taken recreationally, sport climbing is cheaper than golf, safer than most kinds of sex, and democratically social. Much of your time is spent watching friends struggle while you stand around, waiting your turn. This can be more or less pleasant, depending on circumstances. But whatever youre only kidding yourself if you think clipping a few bolts will enhance your image as a bold romantic, or make you out to be a New-Wave iconoclast, no matter what brand of sunglasses youre wearing. Better to be in front of a camera crew, jumping into some Chugach couloir with the REAL men and women, than parking illegally and strolling down the path to share the Grassi Lakes drainage with local birdwatchers.

When you think about it, there are only about two legitimate reasons to find yourself sport climbing. In rough order of importance, they are:

1. The pursuit of personal enjoyment.

2. The achievement of certain arbitrary athletic goals.

Nevertheless, judging by what weve seen and heard over the years, illegitimate motivations for going to the crag are epidemic. Those-Who-Are-Unclear-On-The-Concept expect that the physical ability to drag themselves up 20 metres of rock automatically makes them:

1. Tougher.

2. Smarter.

3. Funnier.

4. More attractive.

5. Exempt from considerations of common courtesy.

While this is clearly true (it works for us!), Those-Who-Are-Unclear-On-The-Concept often confuse the talk with the walk, image with action. They believe that cause and effect are reflexive, and that dressing and playing the part will make them better climbers. This attitude is kind of cute not unlike the belief that many eleven year-olds have that wearing lipstick makes you a better kisser.

For those who are interested, here are a few tips on grooming and deportment at a modern Canadian sport climbing area.

GEAR

Is for mountains. And engineers. And those carabiner fondling types who save their Saturdays for waxing the Nissan and hanging around at MEC, hoping to get into a discussion over the relative merits of twistlocks versus screwgates. At Grassi Lakes, all thats required for a good time is a handful of quickdraws and perhaps a stick for clipping hard-to-reach bolts. Up on EEOR or Ha Ling Peak you might need a few more draws, some common sense, and leave the stick in the truck. Otherwise, a simple harness, shoes, belay device, chalk bag, and rope will see you through most situations.

Well, okay the wrath of God does descend from the heavens on occasion smart money and the underinsured will have ready access to a helmet for those days when the wind, big horn sheep, and thoughtless tourists are knocking rocks from the canyon rim. But theres nothing youll need to rappel, Prussik, protect, or anchor at Grassi. The only thing youll have to tie-off is your dog. And its merely evolution doing its job if you cant figure out how to retreat from a route equipped with $50 worth of permanent hardware. The top of any climb in the Grassi area is never more than a half rope-length away, and you might as well be taking along a teddy bear as all that stuff hanging from your waist. Leave it on the ground even that prized carabiner thats clipping your chalkbag upside down to the back of your harness. Use a shoelace.

CLOTHES

Alright, the excess gear is gone, but you still dont have to take up the space youve saved in your pack (and budget) with clothes, just because youve got the room. Youre never more than a few minutes from your vehicle at Grassi Lakes, or a few steps from a sheltering wall. Gore-Tex might help you survive in the gondola lineup at Sunshine Village, but it is an affectation in a city park where theres often pre-schoolers in bathing suits following their camera hung grandmothers past your heroic, high-tech encampment under the cliffs.

Whats left for the image conscious, then? If they arent overdone, brand names and logos can offer an economical alternative when pursuing crag cool. Tees and sweatshirts mix and match with almost anything -just remember that tent-like skate- and board-style sizing will snag your belay device and make it hard to find your feet at crucial moments. Large dogs seem to be a popular fashion accessory, as are novice companions dress them in the most ill-fitting of your cast-off gear. Bear in mind that the canyon can be both shady and breezy those Sharma shorts might look hot, particularly for what they were designed for campusing boulders in California but up here in Canada they dont always work as well as they do on the cover of Rock & Ice Magazine. Its usually a good idea to have some tights or pants handy to keep your goose bumps under control.

There are several directions you can take these principles when developing your own personal style. Any one of the following themes will be well represented at Grassi on a busy day.

1. The Pro: There are enough guides, ski instructors, and high-calibre mountain bums in the area to lend this look a certain cachet. Unnatural colours in faded fabrics predominate. Lots of zippers and pockets. Only wear a helmet if youre actually working. You dont have to be a very good sport climber. You do have to know everybody.

2. The Boulderer: Wear the whole laundry basket, carry everything else in your arms. Bring a toque and two different toothbrushes, arrive late. Youll be obliged to attempt difficult climbs, but you get to hang on the rope and fondle holds.

3. The Outdoor Education Students: Never less than three and often as many as ten in a group, always of mixed sexes. Long hair and experimental beards on the males, females accessorize modestly with hemp. Strive to appear as if you went kayaking and got lost, with down jackets worn over shorts, wooly socks in your Tevas.

4. The Slumming Mountaineer: Big packs, complimented by campsite hair and delayed hygiene. Trademark walking shorts over dark tights, worn under multi-adjustable harnesses. Climb in your underwear, with tube socks in your rock shoes. Tell everyone youre only here because conditions are crap in the alpine! These are the only people who still think sport climbers wear lycra.

Cool when youre climbing depends mainly on how you go about the actual business of getting up the rock. Dont pretend youre a climber pretend that you can climb.

Hot
Arrive. Lead the route.
Clean your gear. Leave.

Not
Put your rope on a climb.
Spend the rest of the day sitting underneath,
smoking cigarettes.

Hot
Ask for advice.

Not
Spray.

Hot
Share your thermos
under the overhang.