Orna - Dont Say I Do!: Why Women Should Stay Single

Why Women Should Stay Single

Orna Gadish, MSc

NEW HORIZON PRESS

Far Hills, NJ

Copyright 2012 by Orna Gadish

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form whatsoever, including electronic, mechanical or any information storage or retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted in the 1976 Copyright Act or in writing from the publisher.

Requests for permission should be addressed to:

New Horizon Press

P.O. Box 669

Far Hills, NJ 07931

Gadish, Orna

Dont Say I Do!: Why Women Should Stay Single

Cover design: Wendy Bass

Interior design: Scribe Inc.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011928851

ISBN 13: 978-0-88282-410-9

New Horizon Press

Manufactured in the U.S.A.

161514131212345

This book is based on the authors research, personal experiences and clients real life experiences. In order to protect privacy, names have been changed and identifying characteristics have been altered except for contributing experts.

For purposes of simplifying usage, the pronouns his/her and he/she are sometimes used interchangeably. The information contained herein is not meant to be a substitute for professional evaluation and therapy with mental health professionals.

M any women in modern society are not buying into the notion that they need to be married, remarried or in a relationship in order to lead happy, meaningful lives. In Dont Say I Do! we will focus on the new movement among women maintaining that there is absolutely nothing a single woman cannot do that a married woman can; on the contrary, single women have the freedom and the time to do everything they want, plus a whole lot more. More women have started owning the single status, recognizing it for the wonderful opportunity that it is.

In the past, the majority of women thoughtlessly bought into the idea that singlehood must automatically relegate one to a life of dissatisfaction and unfulfilled dreams, deplete of meaning, with images of a depressed woman curled up on the couch with a tub of ice cream and a pile of chick flicks, trying to wash away her fears and discontent and waiting until Prince Charming comes along to make all of her dreams come true.

The good thing is that, if you choose, you too can let go of those confining and destructive ideas, stereotypes and stigmas and become free to live the best years of your life as a single and unmarried woman. You can lead the rest of your life liberated and empowered. Being single, unmarried, divorced or even widowed is negative only if you let it be negative.

Its definitely time to start getting out of your own way.

There are always many options for how you choose to see any given situation in life. Many women become consumed with focusing heavily on the disadvantages of being single, unmarried or divorced. What is the point of this, other than to waste precious time and energy that could be used for personal growth and enjoying life to the fullest?

Look at all of the examples of gorgeous, smart, successful women who choose to stay single, unmarried or happily divorced, because they value themselves enough to put themselves first. Choose to be optimistic about being single and soon you may be the envy of many of your married friends. Expect nothing less than a wonderful situation and you will begin to create and see just that.

Too many women make the mistake of thinking that they need a special someone in their lives in order to be happy and fulfilled; that happiness comes from an external source, such as a walk down the wedding aisle with a man whose job (that you project on him) is to make all of your dreams come true. I believe this line of thought plays against women, because you and only you can be responsible for your own contentment in life. The sooner you recognize that, the sooner you will be on a better path.

If you feel that youre not worth anything unless you are part of a couple, then you wont be. On the other hand, if you decide that your time and status as a single woman is a great opportunity to be yourself and make yourself happy, youll find single life much more fulfilling. An optimistic and take-charge approach is the key to creating lasting and authentic happiness in being a single, unmarried or divorced woman today.

We live in a world where the number of marriages is declining. Many people around the world now believe that marriage is not the epitome of a happy life. In fact, the percentage of young adults (ages twenty-five to thirty-four) who have never married is at an all-time high of 46.3 percent, with sharp increases in the number of single This is the first time that the number of unmarried young adults exceeds the number of those who are married.

More and more women are shunning the institution of marriage. With more women in the workforce and sharp increases in cohabitation, single parenthood and out-of-wedlock childbirths, along with increasing divorce rates, fewer women than ever opt to tie the knot. The decline of marriage is happening now.

Dont Say I Do! is the product of five years of exhaustive research into the subject of why women should choose the single life. During that time, I examined articles, essays, books and films about the collapse of marriage. As part of the research, I interviewed fifty-five single, unmarried and divorced women, as well as unhappily married women between the ages of eighteen and seventy-five, from various sociocultural backgrounds in the United States, Europe and around the Western world. These women agreed to share their stories of searching for and finding fulfilling careers and personal lives in which their own desires and goals are paramount, whether they choose marriage or opt out of it. Stories that are a testament to the waning of marriage were embedded in the narrative of this book.

The breakdown of marriage, as shown in the number of couples never tying the knot or severing the knot with divorce, is a burning sociocultural and international phenomenon. With society producing more single and unmarried people than ever, it is important to understand why large numbers of women are electing not to marrywhy many of us are single by choice and loving every moment!

Forget about old-fashioned patterns, molds and rules of past generations that are no longer relevant. Its time to be aware of all of the new choices, options and opportunities available to single, unmarried or divorced women today. Recognize and embrace all the amazing alternatives you have in moving forward with your relationships, family and career matters as a liberated and self-reliant woman.

There are plenty of relationship possibilities for unmarried women, various alternative family structures, options to conceive and become a mother, ways to raise children alone and so many other alternatives for those staying single by choice. You can and should live your life to the fullest right now, without regretting anything or apologizing to anyone.

The rules of the game have been changed forever. I strongly believe that, by remaining single, not only wont you miss out, but also you have won the game! Now, more than ever, you can take charge of your life and steer it toward your own desires. As you do, you will be amazed at the exciting options open to you to live your life freely and on your own terms!

For women living in the postmodern era, traditional marriage and its derivativesnuclear, monogamous, heterosexual and even homosexual familiesare choices but no longer prerequisites for living with a partner, sharing finances, having sex or even having or raising children. Times have changed; people have changed. This book may be the harbinger.