What People Are Saying about Get Married
Candice Watters cuts through the superfcial veneer of politically correct thinking to arrive at the bed-rock wisdom of biblical truth: marriage is an honorable pursuit, worthy of our earnest intentions and fervent respect. Get Married is forceful, persuasive, and a must-read for todays Christian single.
Gary Thomas
Author, Sacred Marriage
Get Married not only brings healing and renewal to the Christian single confused by scriptural misinformation, it offers them practical advice to get to the altar. I am convinced that this book will play a vital role in unshackling this generation from the spiritual oppression that keeps them from forming godly marriages and godly seed.
Debbie Maken
Author, Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the Gift of Singleness
I have hired and worked with hundreds of single women over the years, and I am particularly sensitive to their plight. Single men do not pursue women for the purpose of marriage and family, thanks to the feminist movement, which dealt a near fatal blow to the institution of marriage in the past three decades. Single women have been embarrassed to express what they really want to do with their livesget married and have a family instead of pursuing a professional career or playing house with a guy who has no interest in being a husband or father. Marriage is a gift of God to His creation! I salute Candice Watters for this wonderful book and the message it contains.
Diane Passno
Senior Vice President, Focus on the Family
Author, Feminism: Mystyique or Mistake?
A hopeful and empowering message for Christian women.
Danielle Crittenden
Author, What Our Mothers Didnt Tell Us, Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman
get married
W HAT W OMEN C AN D O
TO H ELP I T H APPEN
C ANDICE W ATTERS
M OODY P UBLISHERS
CHICAGO
2008 by
C ANDICE W ATTERS
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright 2000, 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Cover design: John Hamilton Design, www.johnhamiltondesign.com
Cover photo: Ted Slater, www.tedslater.com
Interior design: Julia Ryan | www.DesignByJulia.com
Images: 2007 iStock.com, 2007 JupiterImages Corporation
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Watters, Candice.
Get married : what women can do to help it happen / Candice Watters.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN-13: 978-0-8024-5829-2
ISBN-10: 0-8024-5829-7
1. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Single womenConduct of life.
3. Christian womenConduct of life. I. Title.
BV835.W375 2008
248.4dc22
2007039054
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whose bold faith started the ball rolling
C ONTENTS
A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
E very good book is a community effort. Without the distinct contributions of many people, this book wouldnt have become what it is.
Trading notes with other writers, I realize my experience with Moody Publishers has been exceptional. Thank you, Lisa Major, for asking the question, Have you ever thought about writing a book?; Steve Lyon, for your vision for this message; and Jennifer Lyell, for being the champion every writer dreams of fnding in an editor.
Boundless.org was my proving ground, and Im indebted to Focus on the Family, and especially Charlie Jarvis, for believing in it; Ted Slater and Motte Brown for nourishing it; and all the readers over the years who contributed their stories and questions to the vibrant Boundless community. Special thanks to Mark Hartwig and Tom Hess for your infuence on my ability to do more with words.
A great number of researchers and writers led the way in renewing the cultural conversation about marriage. To those who offered me their time and insight: Scott Stanley, Wade Horn, Leon Kass, Danielle Crittenden, Gary Thomas, Emerson Eggerichs, Scott Croft, Michael Lawrence, Debbie Maken, and Carolyn McCulley, thank you all.
Its been a source of both joy and heartache to walk alongside friends at various stages in their pursuit of marriage. Thanks to each of you who gave permission to share parts of your stories in this book.
Im humbled by the wealth of mentors God has sent my way over the years:
At Calvin CollegeSteve Simpson, Frank Speyers, and Lois Konyndyk
At Regent UniversityHubert and Mary Morken
Through Boundless and my time in ColoradoJay and Sandy
Budziszewski, Paul and Phyllis Stanley, and Kurt and Olivia Bruner
Thank you all for your investment and faith.
My dream of writing a book someday began when I was little and stayed alive because I was blessed with a family who believed in me. Thanks, Dad, Mom, Katie, Kenny, Kelly, and Caleb. I also married into a family of true believers. I only wish Steves dad, Jim, were still on earth with Stephanie to see this book go to print.
To Harrison and Zoe, thank you for having childlike faith to pray for a publisher. And to little Churchill, thanks for sitting on my lap while I single-handedly (literally) wrote much of this book. Now its time to celebrate.
To Steve, my husband and best friend, you believed in me more than I believed in myself. Without you, this book wouldnt have been written; without our story there would be little to say; without your coaching, encouragement, and skill, it wouldnt be nearly as interesting to read. No small dreams.
Finally, thank You, Father, for Your faithfulness in each season of my life, for proving over and over Your ability to do exceedingly, abundantly more than I could ask or imagine.
Colorado Springs, CO
June 2007