Candice Watters - Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies

Start YOUR
Family

Inspiration for Having Babies

Inspiration for Having Babies

STEVE & CANDICE WATTERS

MOODY PUBLISHERS

CHICAGO

2009 by
STEVE AND CANDICE WATTERS

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

All Web sites and phone numbers listed herein are accurate at the time of publication, but may change in the future or cease to exist. The listing of Web site references and resources does not imply publisher endorsement of the sites entire contents. Groups and organizations are listed for informational purposes, and listing does not imply publisher endorsement of their activities.

Editor:Dana Wilkerson

Cover Design: Julia Ryan (www.DesignByJulia.com)

Cover Image: Tree illustration iStockphoto.com/ Attila Kis

Interior Design: Ragont Design

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Watters, Steve.

Start your family: inspiration for having babies / Steve and Candice Watters.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-8024-5830-8

1. FamilyReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. Birth controlReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Watters, Candice. II. Title.

BT707.7.W39 2009

248.8'44dc22

2008039046

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For Harrison, Griffin, Zoe, Churchill,
and the children to come.
May we inspire you for the future,
the way youve inspired us.

I REMEMBER ASKING my parents why they married so young. Dad was twenty-one; mom not quite eighteen.

Because we wanted to go to bed together.

The answer came in a matter-of-fact manner, like someone glancing at a watch when asked the time of day. I found the response momentarily unsettling. Im not sure why. After all, my parents were church-going kids in love who knew there was only one appropriate path for fulfilling their God-given sexual desires. In their world, sex and marriage went together. No regrets. No embarrassment. No exceptions.

About a year after my parents wedding day my oldest brother was born. Or, in a slightly more poetic rendition of their story...

First came love. Then came marriage.

Then came baby in a baby carriage!

Actually, seven babies. And for no additional cost they now have seventeen grandkids. Like their parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents before them, they entered into Gods ongoing work of creation simply by doing what came naturally.

My wife, Olivia, and I continued the process, marrying before either of us had completed our final year of college. A graduate school degree and two very used cars later, we gave birth to the first of four children. Eighteen years later, we now understand why they say it costs about $250,000 on average to raise a child in our generation. We also know why people give us a How do you do it? look after learning we have such a large family.

Like most people throughout historywe have always considered marriage and parenthood a package deal. We have always believed that children are a blessing from the Lord. Until very recently, so did everyone else.

For many generations Christian couples couldnt enter the holy state of matrimony without being confronted with that fact. Just before taking their vows aspiring husbands and wives traditionally heard the minister remind everyone attending the ceremony that God ordained marriage for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name (Book of Common Prayer, 1662).

Hard as it may be for our generation to believe, bearing and rearing children were once considered the joyous reward and ultimate purpose of marital intimacy. It was a universally accepted given that parenthood was the highest honor and greatest purpose in life. Those days, I fear, are long gone.

As a spiritual formation pastor I focus on equipping believers to become more of what they were made to be. Namely, like Jesus. The Christian life is about conforming our lives to the image of Christ; to mature beyond a lump of self-centered sinfulness to an icon of self-sacrificial sainthood.

What, in my view, is the most direct and intentional path to that end? In a word, parenthood. No other experience in life frees us from the downward spiral a self-centered existence. Nothing more effectively forces us to discover what Jesus meant when He said those who seek to find their lives must lose it.

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, wrote the apostle Paul, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus who... made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant... he humbled himself (Philippians 2:58 NIV).

Of course, we become like Jesus one inch at a time. And despite the importance of attending worship services, Bible studies, prayer meetings, and church potlucksnothing changes us more than becoming a mommy or daddy.

Ask anyone who has stroked a sick childs fevered forehead while leaning over the toilet bowl in the middle of the night. Or those who have attended their junior high school students band concert and pretended to enjoy the performance. Or those who drive a beat-up old car with balding tires so they can afford to put braces on a teenagers teeth. In these and a thousand other ways, parents are called to be Jesus by sacrificing their own sleep, interests, free time, hobby budgets, peace and quiet in order to be and do what their children need. Raising kids makes us, like Christ, humble ourselves and take on the form of a servant.

Maybe that is the unspoken reason many in our generation de-couple marriage and parenthood. We want the companionship and mutual support of a loving spouse. But the prospect of dialing down a promising career, trading a coupe for a minivan, or buying diapers rather than Starbucks is too much to ask of ourselves.

Or is it?

In this book my dear friends Steve and Candice Watters make a convincing case that avoiding lifes greatest challenge might become this generations greatest regret. As they aptly explain, the normal path for human fulfillment and spiritual formation are marriage and parenthood. Thats why, historically speaking, it is abnormal for grown-ups to intentionally delay or avoid children. Parenthood used to define adulthood. We didnt need to be nudged. We went willingly. Even eagerly.