Jenna Miscavige Hill - Beyond belief: My secret life inside Scientology and my harrowing escape

S PECIAL THANKS TO L ISA P ULITZER, WHO BELIEVED IN MY STORY FROM the very beginning and without whom this book would not have been possible. Thank you so much for all of your care, support, and hard work, and for being so darn nice along the way.

My gratitude to Lisa Sharkey for believing in my story and making it possible for me to get it out there.

Thank you Madeleine Morel for being the firecracker that you are and for being there for me all the while.

Super-special thanks to my editor for working so hard on this book and caring enough to understand my story and for making sure it is communicated as it should be.

I feel like the four of you are such special people and I am very lucky to know you and have you in my life.

Id like to thank everyone at William Morrow and HarperCollins whose hard work on my book made it the best it can be.

Id also like to acknowledge Martha Smith for her long hours and attention to detail.

Thanks to my family, firstly my husband, Dallas, for standing up for me, for teaching me about the world, how to drive, and how to cook, and for being such a nice person and for supporting my dreams, being there for me, putting up with me throughout the years and during the book-writing process. My two angels, who are the center of my life and bring me so much pure joy and who make this world so much more special for your being in it. I love you so, so much.

My heartfelt thanks to the all of the Pavlicks for your love and support and for taking me in and being the kind, loving, and caring people that you are. I couldnt have asked for a better family. Love you all.

A special thank-you to my parents and my brother Justin for helping me when I was getting out of the Church and fighting for me and for being supportive and helping me to see the light.

My love and thanks to the Hill family for respecting our choices, staying strong under intense pressure, and choosing our family over religion.

Thank you to Astra and Kendra, my fellow ESK girls and friends for being amazing, strong, beautiful, smart, and well-spoken, and for doing everything you have done and do on a daily basis. You guys have been strong at times when I have been weak and I am just honored to be talked about in the same breath as both of you.

I want to acknowledge all of the ex-Scientologists and even independent Scientologists who have spoken out over the years on Scientologys abuses, negligence, and human rights violations, taking on personal risk and attack to bring forward the truth and still persevering despite everything. Tory Christman, Mark Bunker, Marc and Claire Headley, Mike and Christie, Marty Rathbun, Tom Devocht, Jeff Hawkins, Amy Scobee, Matt Pesch, Lawrence Woodcraft, Chuck Beatty, Paul Haggis, and the many others I have not mentioned. Thank you.

Thanks to Anonymous, especially those I have met, for your continued support and care about this important issue.

Many thanks to my Aussie friends who have spoken out against the Churchthe Andersons, Janette, Anna, and Dean.

Id like to thank all of my friends who have believed in me along the way and have supported me or who have just been so nice and really helped show me what a kind place the world is. Ana, Jane, Lucy, Aimee, Liz, Laurette, and Gus, to name a few who really stood out, as well as my many other friends I met at HK and LHC.

And finally I cant forget the many journalists who have worked over the years to get important stories out there and bring attention to an important matter with integrity, such as Jonny Jacobsen, Lawrence Wright, Tony Ortega, John Sweeney, Tobin and Childs, Anderson Cooper, and many others.

BEYOND BELIEF . Copyright 2013 by Jenna Miscavige Hill. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

FIRST EDITION

ISBN 978-0-06-224847-3 (hardcover)

ISBN 978-0-06-226343-8 (international edition)

EPub Edition FEBRUARY 2013 ISBN: 9780062248497

13 14 15 16 17 DIX / RRD 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

I would like to dedicate this book to my many good friends who are still in the Church. I love and miss you all and I truly hope you someday have the courage to stand up for yourselves and get the chance to leave and really live your life.
You all deserve so much better.

Contents

T ALKING ABOUT S CIENTOLOGY IS HARDNOT JUST BECAUSE OF the memories that it stirs up or because Scientology itself is a complex and layered religionbut because in the past, Scientologys practices have made it difficult for anyone to criticize or talk about life in the Church.

The story in the pages that follow is true to the best of my recollection. The dialogue has been re-created to the best of my recollection. I have changed the names of some individuals in order to preserve their anonymity, and the goal in all cases was to keep certain names confidential without damaging the integrity of the story. Towards this end, the following names are pseudonyms:

Joe Conte

Karen Fassler

Maria Parker

Cathy Mauro

Melissa Bell

Eva

Naomi

Caitlin

Teddy Blackman

Sondra Phillips

Sophia Townsend

Olivia

Julia

Mayra

Laura Rodriquez

Kara Hansen

Melinda Bleeker

Steven

Linda

Charlie

Molly

Sylvia Pearl

Tessa

Mr. Wilson

R AYS OF MORNING SUN POKED THROUGH THE CLOUDS AS I STOOD toward the back of the line of children waiting to meet two important adults in the Church of Scientology. I didnt know exactly how long Id been there, but it seemed like forever. At seven years old, minutes seemed like hours when I was waiting for something. There were at least ten kids ahead of me, so my two friends and I were singing songs and playing handclap games to pass the time. Although I was certainly giggling along with them, I was mostly distracted and anxious. The two visitors were recruiters from the Churchs international headquarters in Hemet, California, and they were standing at folding tables that had been set up along the road to the School House.

Id been too far back in line to hear the exact explanation of why the two had come to the Ranch, the Scientology boarding school where I lived with about eighty other kids whose parents were executives of the Church. Whatever their reason, I figured it was important, or they wouldnt have made the twenty-mile trip from the base to speak with us in person. Dressed in naval-style uniforms complete with lanyards and campaign bars, they looked impressive, even powerful. I knew they were members of the Sea Organization, Scientologys most elite body comprised of its most dedicated members. My parents had joined the very same group years earlier, just before my second birthday.

Several songs later, my turn to approach the tables was upon me. The faces of the two recruiters were stern and intimidating. Eager for adult attention, I tried to please them by being cute and smiley. When they did not seem impressed, I changed my tactic and tried instead to seem smart and inquisitive.

One of the two handed me a sheet of paper bearing the Sea Org coat of arms and the word REVENIMUS printed at the top, with places for dates and signatures at the bottom.