Tim Federle - Tequila mockingbird: cocktails with a literary twist

TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD

COCKTAILS with a LITERARY TWIST

TIM FEDERLE

ILLUSTRATED BY

LAUREN MORTIMER

Disclaimer: Please drink responsibly. This book is intended for people 21 years and over who know the difference between Beverly Cleary and Judy Blume.

2013 by Tim Federle

Illustrations 2013 by Lauren Mortimer

Published by Running Press,

A Member of the Perseus Books Group

All rights reserved under the Pan-American and

International Copyright Conventions

This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher.

Books published by Running Press are available at special discounts for bulk purchases in the United States by corporations, institutions, and other organizations. For more information, please contact the Special Markets Department at the Perseus Books Group, 2300 Chestnut Street, Suite 200, Philadelphia, PA 19103, or call (800) 810-4145, ext. 5000, or e-mail .

ISBN 978-0-7624-4865-4

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012944541

E-book ISBN 978-0-7624-4876-0

987654321

Digit on the right indicates the number of this printing

Design by Joshua McDonnell

Edited by Jordana Tusman

Typography: Accanthis, Bembo, and Copperplate

Running Press Book Publishers

2300 Chestnut Street

Philadelphia, PA 19103-4371

Visit us on the web!

www.runningpresscooks.com

For Brenda Bowenworth her weight in Cuervo Gold

An English major walks into a bar...

Gentle Drinker:

Congrats. You fought through War and Peace, burned through Fahrenheit 451, and sailed through Moby-Dick. All right, all right, you nearly drowned in Moby-Dick, but you made it to shoreand you deserve a drink! Hang tight, undergrad. A beers not going to cut it. Not this time.

To pay proper homage to the worlds greatest stories and storytellers, weve carefully crafted a librarys worth of literature-inspired cocktails. Scholarly sips for word nerds, if you willand the people who love them. From barflies to book clubs, welcome to Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist. Go ahead and pull up a stool. Or a recliner, for that matter.

Dont worry if you snoozed your way through Comp Lit. Think of this recipe guide as SparkNotes with a liquor license, trading out pop quizzes for popped corks. For you serious drink-slingers out there, were serving up your favorite recipes with a smart new twist. Youve gotta have something to talk about behind the barwhy not raise the level of banter by brushing up on your Bront?

There are beverages here to suit all tastes. Ladies, get ready to celebrate historys feistiest heroines in Drinks for Dames, a handful of recipes that take sugar and spice to a whole new level. From Are You There God? Its Me, Margarita to A Rum of Ones Own to Bridget Joness Daiquiri , weve got every reading level covered.

Gents, your brawny books go down easier with a halftime chug. In Gulps for Guys, literatures most savory stories get stirred into over two dozen recipes. From The Last of the Mojitos to The Old Man and the Seagrams and Orange Julius Caesar with characters this vivid, youll never drink alone again.

Book clubs, shake up your next gathering with party punches like The Joy Luck Club Soda and The Pitcher of Dorian Grey Goose . No problem if you havent even read this months selectioneveryones bound to be fall-down drunk, anyway. Just leave your keys by the door.

And fret not, recovering readers! Weve got nonalcoholic drinks for you, too ( The Wonderful Blizzard of Oz , anyone?) that recall gentler, less wobbly times. No shame in sitting back while the freshmen make fools of themselves.

If your buzz is on but your bellys empty, weve cooked up The Deviled Egg Wears Prada , Prawn Quixote , and a handful of other Bar Bites for Book Hounds. And should you find yourself surrounded by a group of hesitant readersor card-carrying library-goerstry our drinking games. Youll be reading your friends under the table... you know, if theyre brave enough to take a shot every time Dickens introduces a new character.

Relax. We wont get too stuffy. After all, the only things needed to enjoy a good book are a lamp and a place to sit. An effective cocktail should be just as easy. For those who dont know their Bloody Mary from their Mary Shelley, flip the page for a quick refresher on the tools, techniques, and terms used throughout this book. Trust us: if youve got a Solo cup and a corner store, you can make 90 percent of these recipes 100 percent of the time.

So grab a glass, already. Lets get a little stupid and look a little smart. Even if you dont have a BA in English, tonight youre gonna drink like you do.

COCKTAIL (OR MARTINI) GLASS (4 TO 6 OUNCES): Drinks are shaken and strained into this long-stemmed, iconic v-shaped beauty.

COLLINS GLASS (10 TO 14 OUNCES): Built like a highball glass, but taller and narrower. Best for icy, very large tropical drinks. Also best for getting drunk.

FLUTE (4 TO 6 OUNCES): Champagne cocktails are served in this specially designed stemware, which showcases the bubbles without letting too many of them fly free.

HIGHBALL GLASS (10 TO 12 OUNCES): Midway between a rocks and a Collins glass, but taller than the former and shorter and fatter than the latter. If you could only have one book on a desert island, youd choose wisely; if you could only have one glass, youd choose this.

MASON JAR (1 CUP TO GALLON): Though generally used for bottling preserves, this also makes a great container for down-home, country drinks.

MUG (10 TO 12 OUNCES): The hardworking coffee cup does double duty for hot alcoholic drinks.

PINT GLASS (16 TO 20 OUNCES): An all-purpose beer-chugger, this glass tapers at the bottom, and some have a bulb near the lip for a better grip.

ROCKS (OR LOWBALL OR OLD-FASHIONED) GLASS (6 TO 10 OUNCES): A drink poured on the rocksthats over ice, rookieis frequently served in one of these short, heavy tumblers.

SHOT GLASS ( TO 2 OUNCES): For slamming back calmly enjoying a variety of aptly named shots. The smallest of drinking vessels, these are also handy as measuring devices.

SOLO CUP (16 OUNCES): A plastic red cup that is a typical dorm room and party staple. In a pinch, used for basically every drink ever.