Lt. Col. Mark Weber - Tell My Sons: A Fathers Last Letters

You three boys, along with your father, Mark, have given-names that belonged to men who are surely in Gods Hall of Fame of Faith. None of us knows the challenges we will face, but we know that to meet those challenges, God has a great reservoir of mental, physical, and moral strength for each of us. Your dad has given you an unadorned look at his courageous use of those reservoirs in meeting the challenges for him and your family. It will surely help you in meeting your own challenges.

General John W. Vessey, Jr., U.S. Army (Retired), tenth chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

Mark Weber is a modern-day soldier-statesman who has given us a blueprint for how to build characteran indispensable quality for transformative and sustainable leadership.

Tim Pawlenty, former governor of Minnesota and Republican presidential candidate

A powerful testimony of compassion, conviction, and persistence. Mark is an incredibly talented communicator who has provided us all with an intimate and intellectually gripping perspective on life. He pulls no puncheswith his sons, with us, or with himself. With humility and a gift for broaching sobering topics, Tell My Sons will inspire you to want to be a better human being.

Cathy L. Greenberg, PhD, coauthor of the New York Times bestseller What Happy Working Mothers Know and What Happy Women Know

Lieutenant Colonel Mark Weber has left a proud record of service to his nation, much of which is told in this remarkable book. It is a book not only for Marks sons, who can look back on their fathers accomplishments with admiration, but also for anyone who wants to know what a life dedicated to country and family looks like.

Donald Rumsfeld, former U.S. secretary of defense

Mark Webers Tell My Sons should be entitled Tell Us All . This poignant, passionate, and very personal work will deeply move you. Yes, its a story for Marks sons, but it is much more. Here is one mans life story, a soldiers story, that has the wisdom of a life well lived. Its a great legacy for his sons, but its a great legacy for our sons and daughters as well.

General Richard Myers, U.S. Air Force (Retired), fifteenth chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

The Webers have served the U.S. Army and our nation with great distinction, and their recent battle with cancer is no exception. Mark has soldiered on, pouring his great courage, dogged determination, and unflinching humor into the most painful gift a father can give. He has written answers to questions that have yet to be asked, turning personal lessons into a powerful legacy. Tell My Sons will leave an indelible mark on the hearts of all who read it. Lynne and I are honored to have served with the Weber family; we are inspired by their story, which will continue to inspire for generations to come.

General Peter Pace, U.S. Marine Corps (Retired), sixteenth chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

The ancients admired most the man who could face mortality and still tell a great story. They would surely admire Mark Weber. Here youll find the truest heroism.

Jay Heinrichs, author of Thank You for Arguing

Mark and Kristin Webers courage along their journey of life exemplify the Outward Bound values, To serve, to strive, and not to yield. Thanks to this book, his sons wont be the only ones who benefit from this wonderful gift of mentorship and empowerment.

Lee Skold, chairman of the board, Outward Bound USA

Mark has crafted a moving account of pain and suffering turned into joy and wisdom. Through all the hardships and battles, he displays the fighting spirit of a warrior, the steady compassion of a leader, and the unconditional love of a father and husband. His life and his words are an inspiration to me, and they will be an inspiration to you.

Eric Greitens , New York Times bestselling author of The Heart and the Fist: The Education of a Humanitarian, the Making of a Navy SEAL

Tell My Sons is an inspiring work of great and earthy humanity, full of precious models of wisdom and honest love. Marks story reveals the importance of exercising reflective curiosity and empathic imagination in serving with grace, care, and good humor. He has taught me about how honest human beings respond to a life that they allow themselves to love.

Dr. Ronald Heifetz, founding director, Center for Public Leadership at Harvard University, and author of Leadership without Easy Answers

Ive been around Mark Weber a lot in some incredibly difficult circumstances, and it was not only what he got done, but how he got it done. Its not a bad thing when you come across someone who can influence you so profoundly, whether youre a private first class or the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff of the United States of America. Hes one of the finest leaders Ive met in my thirty-eight years of service.

General Martin E. Dempsey, U.S. Army, eighteenth chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

The book arrived at a challenging time for me. It is wonderfulequal parts inspirational and sobering. It is a tremendous reminder of the blessings that we all have, regardless of our personal situations. It was inspirational, at a key moment.

General David H. Petraeus, U.S. Army (Retired), former director of the Central Intelligence Agency

Copyright 2012 by Tell My Sons LLC

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

Ballantine and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

All photographs, unless otherwise specified, are courtesy of the Weber family.

Originally published by Beavers Pond Press, Inc.,
in 2012 in slightly different form.

eISBN: 978-1-59298-575-3

www.ballantinebooks.com

Jacket design: Tom McKeveny

v3.1

Foreword

We all eventually reach the end of our march. For some of us, the route is long. For others, the path is short. But its not the length of the journey that matters as much as the steps we take.

If you discovered disease was about to cut your life short, no one could rightfully judge you for dropping out of line. But for those who refuse to let an incurable illness keep them from doing their duty, for those who keep fighting, for those who live life vigorously and joyfully to the very end, we have names for those people. We call them heroes.

I had the pleasure of working with Mark during a USO tour he helped organize for the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in 2004. At the time, he inspired me in the same way all military personnel do. Everyone who serves their country deserves respect for their personal sacrifice, and they sure get mine. But after learning of his battle with cancer, my respect for Mark grew exponentially.

If war is hell, as they say, then fighting an incurable disease is something altogether worse.

Soldiers can survive wars. Cancer victims in stage IV arent usually so fortunate. As the fight continues, the odds dwindle. That can either be a cause for isolation or an opportunity to send a powerful message with whatever life one has left to live. Mark Weber chose the latter. Instead of shutting down, Mark got to work. He collected his thoughts and stories for his sons, and were fortunate hes left them behind for us all to read.

Lieutenant Colonel Weber marched with purpose, humor, dignity, and grace. This book is about what drove him. Its a look at who he was, what he believed, and what awaits his sons in their own lives. Reading it might help you advance through this world, too.

May he light the way.

Robin Williams

Preface

Dear Matthew, Joshua, and Noah ,