Diane Cowen - Sunday Dinners: Food, Family, and Faith from Our Favorite Pastors

Sunday Dinners copyright 2013 by Diane Cowen.

Photography copyright 2013 by Michael Paulsen. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC

an Andrews McMeel Universal company

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www.andrewsmcmeel.com

ISBN: 978-1-4494-4389-4

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012954410

Photography by Michael Paulsen

Design by Holly Ogden

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Contents

CHAPTER ONE

When It Comes to

Family,

Just Being Together Goes a Long Way

My brother-in-law, Mickey Rigdon, makes living his faith look effortless. He is an earnest man, raised on Midwestern values of humility, hard work, and love of family.

Tall and strong, he is a man who works with his hands. In his thirties, he spent a few years playing semipro football in his hometown of Lafayette, Indiana. As a child, he had athletic ability, but his family was too poor to pay the fees to play football or any other sport or outfit him with a uniform and equipment. So when, as an adult, he saw an ad for tryouts for the Lafayette Lions, he decided to give it a try. Week after week, he took a beating on the field and took no small amount of ribbing from the other guys on the team for being one of the oldest guys to suit up, but he loved it.

His parents had married young and had three boys, Mickey being the eldest. Then his father was in a horrific car accident that left him disabled and barely able to speak. Not only was Mickey Sr. unable to work, his wife couldnt, either, because of the constant care he required. They got by on occasional short-term jobs, government assistance, and the kindness of others at their close-knit church.

When I was a boy we always prayed at mealtime, Mickey recalled. At a certain age my brothers and I had to participate. My parents taught us that the main concept was to be thankful for what we had. I dont recall any of the prayers or what they were about, but I do remember that we always were thankful for the foodbecause that was about all we had, he laughed.

When he was a freshman at Purdue University he met my younger sister, Patty. They married not long after, and a few years later their son, Blake, was born. Several years and a few miscarriages later, the young couple settled in for life with one child. So it was a pleasant surprise when they learned Patty was pregnant again. With only grandsons on both sides of the family, Patty learned she was expecting a little girl.

Six months into the pregnancy, Pattys water broke. She spent the next month or so hospitalized. Childbirth was a scheduled C-section, and excited grandparents-to-be, siblings, and nieces and nephews gathered in the hospitals waiting room. This newborn girl was a happy miracle, so the roomful of smiling faces was stunned when Mickey came from the operating room looking shaken. Pattys heart had stopped, and as doctors revived her with defibrillators she began to hemorrhage. Her heart stopped again. She was revived again. Little Mickaela, weighing less than five pounds, had barely made it out of her mothers womb alive and would spend weeks hooked up to life-saving machines.

The day had begun with happy anticipation. It ended with desperation. We prayed openly in the waiting room, in hallways, in the church chapel, asking God to let both mother and daughter make it through first one night, and then another, and another.

Im a strong person, and I think I am because of my faith, Patty said years later. Mickaela is here by the grace of God. Someday Ill learn why we had to go through that. I think tough times are there sometimes to help us develop into who we are.

As they raised Blake and Mickaela their goals were simple: to instill the same values, faith, and traditions that they were taught; to be caring and thoughtful; to be generous with whatever they have; and to live with open hearts.

Both Patty and Mickey pray often; their prayers are words of thanks. The only asking they seem to do is for the good health and safety of loved ones. While their childrens sports schedules may have meant that not every family dinner is a home-cooked meal, theyre shared around a table nonetheless. And each begins with the four holding hands and saying grace.

As a father I pray for my kids, their health and safety. Now that Blake and his friends are in college and elsewhere, theyre heavy on our hearts, Mickey said.

Mealtime isnt the only time they pray. Conversations with God are ongoing for both. Mickey simply believes that making himself strong spiritually will make him a better persona good husband and father. Patty finds her drive to work to be her most consistent time alone and often uses that time for meditation.

Sometimes if Im having a good day, I thank God for what I have, she said. Many people pray to ask for things. I like to thank Him every day for the things I have: a good home, healthy kids, a good dog.

Another trial came for the family one summer afternoon when the house next door to their home caught fire. Flames spread quickly; soon their home, too, was engulfed in flames. Blake, sixteen then, was home by himself. He managed to get the familys two Labrador retrievers out and then grab family photos from the living room.

As firefighters aimed high-pressure hoses at their home, the family stood on the sidewalk, surrounded by neighbors and friends whod heard the news and headed over. Patty and Mickey had on the clothes theyd worn to work. Blake was in shorts and a T-shirt, barefoot. Mickaela had been swimming in a neighbors pool so she was in her swimsuit, dripping wet. Every other thing they had owned was lost.

In the days that followed, family, friends, and church members began a seemingly endless parade of visits and phone calls. One family had just moved out of their home and into a new one. They offered their vacant home as temporary lodging. Cars pulled up all day long with used furniture, household items, and clothesenough to get them by until they could settle with their insurance company and move into a new home.

So on a hot summer Sunday evening, the four found themselves in someone elses nearly empty home, sitting on folding chairs around a card table holding a casserole that had been dropped off earlier in the day. Just as theyd done every other day of their lives, they grasped one anothers hands, bowed their heads, and thanked the Lord for all that they had: a caring community, cherished friends, and one another.

For my sister and her family, dinners together are sacred. Whether its a carry-out pizza or a carefully prepared meal, they are always shared around a table. And theyre done with intentionality: conversation is a way Patty and Mickey stay plugged in to their childrens lives; its how parents continue to be role models for how children should behave.

Family dinners, of course, arent limited to everyday meals we eat at home. There are birthdays and anniversaries, holidays and reunions. Some families gather so regularly that they dont require invitations: siblings, cousins, aunts, and grandparents simply know where and when to report for Sunday brunch or dinnerand everyone plays a role.