Paul Dickson - Rising to the Occasion: The Best Toasts for Any Celebration

A man is only as old as the woman he feels. Groucho Marx D o not resist growing oldmany are denied the privilege. F ill high the goblet! Envious time steals, as we speak, our fleeting prime. H eres a health to the future; A sigh for the past; We can love and remember, And hope to the last, And for all the base lies That the almanacs hold While theres love in the heart, We can never grow old . H eres hoping that you live forever And mine is the last voice you hear. Willard Scott , from A Gentlemans Guide to Toasting H eres that we may live to eat the hen That scratches on our grave.

I ve never known a person to live to or more, and then die, to be remarkable for anything else. Josh Billings L et him live to be a hundred! We want him on earth. Oliver Wendell Holmes to a friend L ong life to you and may you die in your own bed. M ay our lives, like the leaves of the maple, grow More beautiful as they fade. May we say our farewells, when its time to go, All smiling and unafraid. Larry E.

Johnson M ay the Lord love us but not call us too soon. M ay virtue and truth Guide you in youth Catnip and sage Cheer your old age. Found in a geography book dated 1880 , Cuttingsville, Vermont M ay we keep a little of the fuel of youth to warm our body in old age. M ay you enter heaven late. M ay you live as long as you want, may you never want as long as you live. M ay you live to be a hundredand decide the rest for yourself.

N oah was six hundred years old before he knew how to build an arkdont lose your grip. Elbert Hubbard O h to be seventy again! Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. on the occasion of his passing a pretty girl on the street at the age of about eighty-five O nly the young die good. Oliver Herford T he good die youngheres hoping that you may live to a ripe old age. T o maturity: When theres snow on the roof, theres fire in the furnace. T o the Old Guard, the older we grow, The more we take and the less we know.

At least the young men tell us so, But the day will come, when they shall know Exactly how far a glass can go, To win the battle, gainst age, the foe. Heres youth... in a glass of wine. James Monroe McLean, The Book of Wine T o the old, long life and treasure; To the young, all health and pleasure. Ben Jonson Y oure not as young as you used to be But youre not as old as youre going to be So watch it! Irish H ere is to loving, to romance, to us. May we travel together through time.

We alone count as none, but together were one, For our partnership puts love to rhyme. Irish H eres to you both a beautiful pair, on the birthday of your love affair. L et anniversaries come and let anniversaries gobut may your happiness continue on forever. L ove seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. Mark Twain M ay the warmth of our affections survive the frosts of age.

T o your coming anniversariesmay they be outnumbered only by your coming pleasures. W eve holidays and holy days, and memory days galore; And when weve toasted every one, I offer just one more. So let us lift our glasses high, and drink a silent toast The day, deep buried in each heart, that each one loves the most. W ith fifty years between you and your well-kept wedding vow. The Golden Age, old friends of mine, is not a fable now. The Golden Wedding at Longwood by John Greenleaf Whittier Paul Dickson is the author of more than fifty books.

He concentrates on writing about the American language, baseball, and twentieth-century history. He is a collector of words and wordplay whose other works of this nature include Words , Names , Jokes , Slang , Family Words , and Words from the White House , among others. He is a contributing editor for Dover Publications and Washingtonian magazine. His most recent books are Bill Veeck: Baseballs Greatest Maverick and Authorisms: Words Wrought by Writers . He lives in Maryland. A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.

A new life begun, Like father, like son. Irish A generation of children on the children of your children. A lovely being scarcely formed or molded, A rose with all its sweetest leaves yet folded. Lord Byron E very baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. Charles Dickens , Nicholas Nickleby F ather of fathers, make me one, A fit example for a son . Douglas Mallochs toast for fathers with a son or sons G randchildren are gifts of God.

It is Gods way... Of compensating us for growing old. Irish H eres to the babyman to be May he be as fine as thee! Heres to the babywoman to be May she be as sweet as thee! H eres to the stork, A most valuable bird, That inhabits the residence districts. He doesnt sing tunes, Nor yield any plumes, But he helps the vital statistics. Irish L ike one, like the other, Like daughter, like mother. Irish M ay he/she grow twice as tall as yourself and half as wise.

Irish O ut of a love our child will grow... Greater than light, deeper than dark, All other love is but a spark. S o that our children will have wealthy parents. T he Babies. As they comfort us in our sorrows, let us not forget them in our festivities. Mark Twain T he stork has brought a little peach! The nurse said with an air.

Im mighty glad, the father said. He didnt bring a pear. [To the new parent(s)] T rust yourself. You know more than you think you do. B enjamin S pock , U.S. psychologist, advice to a new parent in Baby and Child Care , 1977 W e havent all the good fortune to be ladies; we have not all been generals, or poets or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies we stand on common ground.

Weve all been babies. Mark Twain The Bible does not give us any direct mention of toasting, but there are a number of passages that indicate that the custom was observed. Even an antitoast cleric of the last century had to concede: It is hardly probable that Ben-hadad and the thirty-two kings, his companions, would drink themselves drunk in the pavilions without some interchange of courtesies (see Kings : ). A number of lines from the Bible have been used as toasts including these: A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry. Ecclesiastes 10:19 D o not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. 1 Timothy 5:23 E at thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart . 1 Timothy 5:23 E at thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart .

Ecclesiastes 9:7 F orsake not an old friend, for the new is not comparable to him. A new friend is as new wine: when it is old, thou shall drink it with pleasure. Ecclesiastes 9:10 G ive... wine unto those that be of heavy heart. Proverbs 31:6 T he best wine... that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.

Song of Solomon 7:9 W ine maketh glad the heart of man . Psalms 104:15 W ine nourishes, refreshes, and cheers. Wine is the foremost of all medicines... Whenever wine is lacking, medicines become necessary. The Talmud W ine was created from the beginning to make men joyful, and not to make men drunk. Wine drunk with moderation is the joy of the soul and the heart.

Ecclesiastes 31:35 W ine, which cheereth God and man. Judges 9:13 A health, and many of them. Birthdays were never like this when I had em. A lthough another year is past Hes/Shes no older than the last! A nother candle on your cake? Well, thats no cause to pout, Be glad that you have strength enough To blow the damn thing out. A nother year older? Think this way: Just one day older than yesterday! G od grant you many and happy years, Till, when the last has crowned you, The dawn of endless days appears, And heaven is shining round you! Oliver Wendell Holmes