Tom Hoobyar - NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming

This guide is adapted, with NLP Comprehensives generous permission, from NLP: The New Technology of Achievement .

T he best time to complete this portion of the book is after youve read all the chapters. This guide builds on the NLP ideas and techniques youve explored throughout the book and applies them in new ways. Continuing to play with these ideas and processes will increase your mastery of this breakthrough technology and allow you to integrate them as a way to naturally navigate life.

Even though there are recommended activities for each day, theres no rule that says you cant do more than one a day, as long as youre giving each activity the full attention it deserves. Once youve completed this program, you may want to return to the days that you found most useful or appreciated the most, and repeat them for greater benefit. Or you may want to return to the days that didnt seem to offer you much; repeating these opportunities might produce different results or reveal something about yourself. You can also simply repeat the entire program from the beginning. Do any of these activities as often as you like, until all of your goals are reached or you feel youve learned everything this book has to offer, whichever comes first.

Although there is workbook space provided on the following pages, you may prefer to use your own notebook or download one of the online versions by going to: http://eg.nlpco.com/21-1 or use the QR code with your phone.

Tom Dotz is a real entrepreneur. That means hes experienced business and life from every side. Hes ridden the rocketing financial start-up bubble, and had it explode along with the rest of his life. He knows a brilliant business plan with the best financing can evaporate through no fault of your own. He knows you need resilience. When Tom took his first NLP training, he was so impressed that he founded the NLP Institute of California. Using NLP to market NLP, he created a powerhouse community and grew it to the largest organization of its kind in the U.S. in just four years. Now the owner of NLP Comprehensive, he leads the design of programs and products for real-life problems and opportunities.

Tom Hoobyar, NLP Master Practitioner, engineer, and high tech CEO, used his NLP skills and life experience to help individuals and businesses grow. He held thirty-seven patents in the biotech industry, including the original Radial-Diaphragm valve, as founding CEO and marketing strategist for ASEPCO, Inc. He took even more delight in his accomplishments as a happily married family man with three adult kids and seven grandchildren. He founded the NLP Caf, and the international NLP Alumni study group. Through the NLP Caf he conducted advanced programs in NLP for fifteen years, and served on the board of NLP Comprehensive, a world-leader in NLP training.

Susan Sanders helps organizations make learning and working easier, fun, and more meaningful. Her understanding of how people work, love of words, attention to beliefs and metaphor, and unique ability to organize ideas distinguish her approach and ability to create lasting change. A decade-long study of NLP enables Susan to integrate NLP concepts and strategies into writing and editing, instructional design, and training delivery.

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W e gratefully acknowledge Dr. Robert Dee McDonald, NLP innovator, author, and trainer for creating:

and testing this version of the Auditory Swish in eighteen countries.

his extended version of the NLP Presuppositions.

the taxi-driver metaphor, which is the foundation of his Destination Method, a Transpersonal Coaching Strategy.

the Mission Detection Process, which informed sections of this book.

Robert McDonald is coauthor of two NLP books titled, Tools of the Spirit and NLP: The New Technology of Achievement. His website is TelosCenter.com.

Vikki Hoobyar

M y darling husband, Tom Hoobyar, was an interpersonal genius. My first interaction with Tom was in an elevator that went from the garage to the entrance of a very popular bookstore in Menlo Park, California. A teenager was standing next to him, so I smiled my I know what its like to have teenagers smile. When the door of the elevator opened, the kid skateboarded away and I was dismayed to discover that I had smiled at a man who was alone. Because I dont usually do that, I put my head down and marched into the store, not daring to look back.

A moment later, Tom offered to help me find a book after the salesperson with too few brains and too many piercings (as Tom described it) had blown me off. This was a readers bookstore. He seemed so nice and knowledgeable about the bookstore that I took him up on his offer to help me.

We talked about what I was searching for. The book wasnt there, but it no longer mattered because we had begun an interesting conversation about NLP. There in the bookshop, Tom treated me to my first taste of NLP by having me visualize my favorite food and then my least favorite food. I was fascinated by this brief experience and what my brain was doing, so we went next door to grab coffee and continue the conversation. It was delightful.

At that point in my life, I was willing to be friends with men, but I was not willing to date a man until I really got to know him. Tom kept finding reasons to get together with me to continue our discussion about NLP. I knew he liked me a lot, but I really just wanted to be friends. He picked me up at work and took me to lovely restaurants. Afterward, I would always shake his hand.

On one particular day, although we had only planned an outing to an art fair for a couple of hours, we ended up spending the entire day together. That afternoon I said, Arent we spending too much time together on our first date? What Tom heard was that I had called it a date and I had said it was the first one. About three months after meeting him, I fell completely, unreservedly in love with him. We married fourteen months later. Years later, I told him that had I been looking for a man to date; he would have been disqualified immediately as too old, too tall, and too bald.

Tom had a lot of impact on otherspeople in business, NLP clients, and my family. When I met him, I was entering my first year of graduate school to get a masters degree in marriage and family counseling. As we got to know one another, he discussed NLP training with me and I was more than happy to learn the skill set. So while I attended college, I also attended several NLP trainings. When it came time to actually start counseling clients, I had a lot more confidence than my classmates because my NLP training had taught me that there was no objection a client could bring up that I couldnt handle. (Hows that for wow?)

During our courtship, my youngest son, Jared, quickly came to Toms attention. Jared was fifteen, a high school dropout who was drinking a lot and taking drugs. Jareds father had died when my son was eight years old, and Jared had had a very negative experience with his first stepfather. Tom started taking Jared out for dinner once a month. He told Jared that they were going to be in each others lives whether they liked it or not. He explained to Jared that he was going to be the older guy in my sons life; that in fact, the day was coming when Jared would be calling Tom to bail him out of jail. (And that actually happened.)

Tom viewed Jared as a very large fish he had to pull in with a very weak fishing line. So he would pull Jared closer and then let him retreat a little. One night when the three of us were watching TV, Tom turned to Jared (who had no piercings in his face, his hair cut conservatively, and a baseball cap on his head, facing forward) and said, Who are you and what have you done with our son? We had a good laugh! No doubt about it, Tom saved the life of my younger son. Jared is now a very successful salesperson and an exceptional parent to his six-year-old son.