Grace Helbig - Graces Guide: The Art of Pretending to Be a Grown-Up

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THE ART OF FAKING IT UNTIL SOMEONE CALLS YOU OUT ON IT

THE ART OF DOING THE LEAST TO GET PAID MORE THAN YOU DID FOR BABYSITTING

THE ART OF FINDING YOUR INNER PANTS SUIT AND YOUR OUTER SWEATPANTS

The Art of Balance, Commitment, and Finding the Bathroom No One Else Uses

THE ART OF CONVINCING A STRANGER TO GIVE YOU MONEY FOR USING A COMPUTER

THE ART OF MINIMIZING YOUR DEBT AND MAXIMIZING YOUR POTENTIAL TO LEARN WHAT THE WORD COLLATE MEANS

THE ART OF EXPANDING YOUR MIND AND DEBT

THE ART OF HOPEFULLY, EVENTUALLY MAKING SOME MONEY FOR DOING A JOB RELATIVELY CLOSE TO SOMETHING YOU SORT OF ENJOY

Your Professional Life

GRACE HELBIG is a comedian, actress, and YouTube personality. She previously hosted DailyGrace on My Damn Channel before leaving in January 2014 to create her own YouTube channel, itsGrace, which has more than 1.8 million subscribers and 150 million views. Grace is the executive producer and star of the feature film Camp Takota . She is the winner of the Peoples Voice Webby Award for Best First-Person Format and the Streamy Award for Personality of the Year and Best First-Person Series. Grace has been named one of Varietys 10 Comics to Watch, Fast Company s 100 Most Creative People in Business, and Forbes 30 Under 30.

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Welcome to the part of the book about school and your brain and your professional life. I can practically smell the blazers and the classy leather business side-satchels.

When I was a little girl I used to flip through JCPenneys giant annual holiday catalog and circle all the toys I wanted for Christmas that year. I remember circling things like the cash register set; the little miss professional attach case, complete with a giant fake cell phone and legal pad; the nurse play set; the pop-up chalkboard; you get the idea. My favorite toys were all business/work-related. I was already an entrepreneur and I hadnt even finished second grade.

Of course, I wanted dolls and princess dress-up kits, too, but my dad didnt like Barbie and the female ideal she represented. The only Barbie he ever caved and bought me was Native American Barbie, because he thought it had educational value. What a guy. He loves education and hard work. I remember in fifth grade, I had an assignment to try to re-create something associated with the Sioux Indians. My dad and I set out to make a papoose. What I mean by that is my dad made a papoose. A papoose is a cradle backpack that the Native Americans used to carry their children. They looked something like this:

I watched helped my dad gather sticks, glue them together onto a piece of wood and tie them off with brown suede rope, then hand-stitch burlap into the shape of a headpiece, and decorate the entire structure with beads and feathers. I had to stop him before he tried to put a fake baby inside for realism. When I brought in my project, it was clear that I hadnt made it. Everyone else brought in handmade bows and arrows or rocks that they had painted with native motifs. I had a life-sized papoose. My dad got an A.

His feverish passion for work and education really influenced me as I got older. I became a sort of nerd-jock hybrid in high school. I always wanted to get good grades, I always wanted to win my events at track meets, I performed in plays, and I joined all the clubs I thought I should join to make my rsum look appealing to colleges. I even competed in mock trial for one year, until I realized that Im NOT a good lawyer. I just liked the excuse to wear a lady suit.

By the time I was a senior, the effort paid off. I got a full ride to the first college I applied to. Granted, it was a small liberal arts college in northern New Jersey that had an alarming number of skunks running around the campus (like, actual skunks; they were not in the brochure). But they took me on early decision in December and I thought, Well, okay, I guess my college-search thing is done, cool . While everyone else sent out all of their applications and did campus visits and interviews, I was done. It felt great.

Until I got there. I had a terrible time adjusting. Turns out I hate change and Im not good at socializing. Good to know! I got really depressed and sat in my room a lot, researching other colleges. At one point, I started filling out applications to other, bigger schools like NYU and UCLA, because I thought theyd give me a more authentic college experience. Our college didnt have a football team and our mascot was the road runner ( NOT the cartoon character) and there were skunks all over and I had ten Bulgarian exchange students living on my floorthis was not a real school.

But then I had a conversation with my mom and she encouraged me to stick it out until the end of the semester to see if I could find just one thing I liked. After all, it was a free ride, and it was up to me to make the most of it. So I did what I do best: I worked hard. I got a job off campus, I signed up for indoor track (turns out I had lost my edge and was no longer competitive in trackalso fun to learn!), and I made friends with the Bulgarians, who turned out to be some of the nicest, most hilarious people.

Eventually over the next few years I found my niche. I got into writing and performing and started interning in the city while working two off-campus jobs (youll hear all about it) and I finally started to sort of enjoy my experience. For a while after I graduated, I still lived in regret that I missed out on a super-fun college experience. But as I got more involved in the professional world, I became grateful for the experience. Also, the lack of college loans is a very nice thing.

Im still not the most social person in the world (I work on the Internet), nor am I the smartest in the brain department (no doy), but I do know how to put hard work into something. So welcome to the part of the book where I try to give you guidance whether youre still in school or making the leap into the professional world.