Rebekah Shardy - 98 Things a Woman Should Do in Her Lifetime

98 Things a Woman Should Do in Her Lifetime copyright 2003 by Rebekah Shardy. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

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This book developed out of an article originally published in the December 9, 1999, issue of the Colorado Springs Independent.

E-ISBN: 978-0-7407-8836-9

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2002111566

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To my mothers death-defying heart, which knew how to soar above a world of limitations, and to my mentor and muse, Iris Trachsel, who taught me to never look down when youre crossing the highwire of life.

Allow your chewy, salty heart to be marinated in the tender juices of a younger mans obsession.

Run for office, win, and then resign in a grand gesture of moral indigestion.

Ride a train through Europe (better yet, the Orient Express).

Say grace to the Goddess.

Vote from lust.

Tell Richard Simmons to just shut up and sit down.

Paint a mural of your imagined past lives.

Buy a pair of castanets and learn to use them.

Sing to a child.

Sing to a dying parent.

Order a whole Peking duck when dining out alone.

Cultivate savoir fairean effortless knack for saying or doing just the right thing in any situation.

Go a month without shaving your legs.

Buy a really expensive, well-made pair of boots.

Write your own erotica.

If youre lucky, learn to do one good impression, say, of Clint Eastwood; well, do you feel lucky, punk?

Release one grudge a month.

Organize a day spa for women living at a domestic violence shelter with services donated from a local beauty school.

Audition for community theater.

Get published.

Teach someone, besides a child, to read.

Invent a punch that will raise eyebrows and lower inhibitions.

Dont indulge in one judgmental thought for an entire day. Okay, an hour.

Learn a few choice phrases in French or Russian to use when flirting or angry.

Stay in a convent for a week.

Ride a motorcycle alone across the Nevada desert.

Make wine from dandelions growing in your backyard and send it to the CEO of Greener Chemical Lawns, Inc.

Start a wild rumor that something wonderful will happen later this year.

Squeeze a cute fireman because its Public Hero Appreciation Day.

Learn to belly dance and integrate it into your lovemaking.

Apply for a scholarship to an art, literary, or spiritual retreat that intrigues you.

Design a picnic around aphrodisiacsraw oysters, champagne, rose petal jam on chocolate fingersthen whisper in anothers ear the sensual images that passing clouds suggest.

Be someones fairy godmother. Wand optional.

Write an unauthorized biography of your family, including embarrassing photos, a tribute to the infamous black sheep, and favorite recipes.

Serve something flamb.

On the hottest day in August donate matinee tickets to a movie in an air-conditioned theater to kids living in a homeless shelter.

Develop a substantial cackle big enough to grow into as you age. (A cackle is a giggle with seniority.)

Flirt with a stewardess just for the hell of it.
(Its nicer than air rage.)