Jaxn - Things She Wishes You Understood

Copyright 2019 Derrick Jaxn Published by Derrick Jaxn at Smashwords Smashwords Edition License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoymentonly. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people.If you would like to share this book with another person, pleasepurchase an additional copy for each recipient. If youre readingthis book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for yourenjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or yourfavorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you forrespecting the hard work of this author. Copyright 2019 Derrick Jackson All rights reserved. This book or any portionthereof may not be reproduced or used in any mannerwhatsoever without the express written permission of thepublisher except for the use of brief quotations in a bookreview.

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Communication is said to be a lost art. While Idlove to disagree, I personally know how it feels to have misplacedmy brush in the pile of insecurities, brokenness, ego, pride, andself-centered way of thinking I once hoarded. Even till this day, Ioccasionally find my brush hiding somewhere under another box ofunpacked internal baggage that has no place in a healthyrelationship, nor a happy life in general. Clearly, the turning point in my life wasnt in mebecoming perfect, but rather having the wisdom to use my brush. Tostart having the difficult and sometimes painful conversations. Toopen up when my comfort zone was shutting down.

To blame myselfwhen I knew I was wrong instead of pointing fingers elsewhere whenI knew I could get away with it. To speak up instead of lettingpassive-aggressive hints speak for me. It wasnt rocket science. It was a choice life gaveme, the same one it gives every man. Either wise up, grow up, andstep up to the plate, or continue to avoid my demons, cling to mytoxicity, and lose the woman who knew she deserved so muchbetter. Not only did I refuse to allow the latter, I bet mylife against it, found my purpose in it, and now am writing thisbook with it.

Ive done the years of hard work so that some man whostill has a chance to keep the love of his life can learn many ofmy lessons the easier and smarter way than I did. If not for him,then at least for the woman whos been trying to find the words tovoice the intent of her intuition but couldnt, this is foryou. To my younger self, this is for you, too. Youre notsome ancient version of me I no longer must account for. You areevery day that has something left to learn, to be mindful of, andto improve on in your ability to receive from your wife what shestill needs you to understand to properly love the ever-evolvingversion of her. The following passages are from conversations with myconscience over the last few years, derivative of uncomfortablerelationship discussions I couldnt stop replaying after they weredone.

My conscience articulates many of the same things as othermen, but for those who, like I once did, have difficulty hearingthrough the clutter left by mental adolescence, may these truthsfind you well and before its too late. She's not unforgiving, but she might need some more time and space to process your apology. The damage doesnt become undone the moment you realize you didnt mean to causeit. -Derrick Jaxn Shes not looking for a savior. She may not currently even be looking for a solution. -Derrick Jaxn Shes not fishing for compliments; shes reminding you to acknowledge how attracted to her you are the same way you remind her to ignore other men who show they are attracted to her. -Derrick Jaxn You cant want her to be ambitious without also wanting to be supportive when she fails at the things shes ambitious about. -Derrick Jaxn You cant want her to be ambitious without also wanting to be supportive when she fails at the things shes ambitious about.

Support is not just a woman thing. Its a partner thing. -Derrick Jaxn Shes not shallow for enjoying gifts from you. Theyre representations of the small sacrifices of time it took to get them, and the hard work it took to earn money to buy them that you were willing to give in exchange for showing you were thinking of her. -Derrick Jaxn Telling her you dont understand where shes coming from, yet, but asking for her patience as you continue to try to put yourself in her shoes is better than an insincere apology just to shut her up. -Derrick Jaxn The time she needs for herself is not a measurement of her investment in you.

Allow her the space she needs for self-maintenance without punishing her for the lack of on-demand attention you get regardless of her emotional needs. -Derrick Jaxn You can work on your dreams without keeping her last on your priority list. A better way to integrate her into your life of pursuing success is to set aside time she needs from you to feel connected, and commit to it with your undivided attention when it comes. -Derrick Jaxn Yes, you told her you loved her. You told her she was beautiful. You told her how much she meant to you, and how you see her in your future.

Now, you need to tell her, again. Tomorrow, show her, and the next day, repeat these steps. Her memory shouldnt be the only evidence of these things being true. -Derrick Jaxn Shes not living in the past by bringing up old events that brought her pain. The past is living in her in the form of scars youcaused and receives new life with every time you remind her of the person you were when you caused them. -Derrick Jaxn She will support you in your hard times, when youre angry, depressed, or just frustrated.

But to take these things out onher is to take away your own support while she emotionally protects herself. Dont blameher for the problems you added to. -Derrick Jaxn Yes, she can take a joke, but once youre aware of certain insecurities and you still choose to poke fun at them, those jokes are more inconsiderate than amusing. -Derrick Jaxn She wants you to put her on a pedestal, but dont forget to put her flaws up there,too. Dont be in awe of her only when shes at herbest. -Derrick Jaxn She doesnt mind making sure youre taken care of, but just because shes a nurturer doesnt mean she doesnt deserve nurturing as well. -Derrick Jaxn She doesnt mind the fact that youre very sexual. -Derrick Jaxn She doesnt mind the fact that youre very sexual.

You just also need to be sensual, respectful, and romantic. That creates the intimacy that makes the sex even better. -Derrick Jaxn No, she does not think shes all that. She thinks she has a man whos secure enough in himself and proud enough in his woman to where her accomplishments wont intimidate him. -Derrick Jaxn Shes not looking for all your time, and she knows that you work hard, so you need to focus throughout the day. -Derrick Jaxn The time she spends on herself may not be solely for you, but paying attention to detail will make her feel a lot more loved than criticizing her for it or accusing her of doing it for superficial reasons. -Derrick Jaxn If you come home from having a bad day, no, you dont have to pretend. -Derrick Jaxn If you come home from having a bad day, no, you dont have to pretend.

But thats not an excuse for shutting her out when shes only trying to see how she can help. -Derrick Jaxn Her career and educational success is not indicative of a lesser value on you. Youve meant more to her than your money from the beginning. Dont let societys limitations on you as a man convince you otherwise. -Derrick Jaxn Asking for more respect from you is not a disrespect to you. -Derrick Jaxn Her having needs of undivided attention from you doesnt make her needy. -Derrick Jaxn Her having needs of undivided attention from you doesnt make her needy.

It makes her a woman whose needs you had no problem fulfilling when you still wanted her to be all yours. If you cherish her, show her to let herknow. If not, stop wasting her time and let hergo. -Derrick Jaxn The pride you show in her looks is much appreciated, but the support you say you have for her mindset and character should be shown, too. -Derrick Jaxn Flirting with other women is not a part of your personality. -Derrick Jaxn She doesnt want you to agree with everything she says, but she needs to know you respect everything she says even if you dont agree. -Derrick Jaxn Shes not jealous or insecure about you having female friends. -Derrick Jaxn Shes not jealous or insecure about you having female friends.