Louis Cozolino - The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the Developing Social Brain (Second Edition)

The Neuroscience

of

Human Relationships

Attachment and the

Developing Social Brain

Second Edition

Louis Cozolino

W. W. Norton & Company

New York London

For Susan

Thank you for allowing me to

dig deep,

fly high,

and smile wide.

Contents

Since the publication of the first edition, the field of social neuroscience has grown at a mind-numbing pace. On the one hand, technical advances provide more windows into our inner neural universe. On the other, terms like attachment , empathy , compassion , and mindfulness regularly appear in the scientific literature and highlight the deepening appreciation for the essential interdependence of brain and mind. More and more parents, teachers, and therapists are asking how brains develop, grow, connect, learn, and heal. The challenge for the first edition was to seek out and discover significant and relevant research. The challenge for the second edition was to organize an abundance of new scientific riches.

A number of interesting developments have emerged between the two editions. Our understanding of mirror neurons and their significance to human relationships has continued to expand and deepen. As predicted in the first edition, the insula and cingulate cortices have gained increasing focus as researchers have turned their attention to mind-body connectivity and the importance of subjective experience. Another important development has been the gradual shift in focus from individual brain structures to functional neural systemsan important and necessary step forward.

Exploration of what has alternatively been called the default mode network and cortical midline structures is providing a new window into the exploration of the self. Something that is growing increasingly apparent is that our attention to and analysis of others seems to have appeared earlier in our evolutionary history than self-awareness. Human self-awareness appears to be an emergent function arising from a combination of relationships, our ability to symbolize, and the tools provided to us by culture. A great deal of neural overlap has been discovered in brain activation when we are thinking about others and ourselves. This raises many questions, including how we come to know others and whether the notion of an individual self is anything more than an evolutionary strategy to support our interconnection.

All scientific journeys seem to lead us back to the old adage: The more we learn, the more we realize how much there is yet to learn. Fasten your seatbelts, hold on, and enjoy the ride.

Louis Cozolino

Los Angeles, California

January 2013

The miracle is that the universe created a part of itself to study the rest of it, and that this part, in studying itself, finds the rest of the universe in its own inner realities.

John Lilly

Humans exist within a paradox: We conceive of ourselves as individuals yet spend our lives embedded in relationships that build, shape, and influence our brains. Despite our fundamental social nature, the operative term remains I . I have relationships, I make plans with friends, I keep in touch with family. Our sense of reality is grounded in the experience of a separate self, and it is from this perspective that Western science explores the brain. Yet, while we are busy cherishing our individuality, our brains and minds are being stimulated, influenced, and regulated by those around us (DeVries et al., 2003; Hofer, 1984, 1987). Gradually, we are discovering that we are social creatures with brains and minds that are part of larger organisms called families, communities, and cultures (Wilson, 2012). This awareness is making it increasingly clear that to understand a person, we need to look beyond the individual.

Half a century ago, these insights led family systems theorists to shift the focus of psychotherapy from the individual patient to the family unit. The symptoms of the identified patient were thereby reinterpreted as a by-product of the familys struggle for homeostasis. But is the family the best frame of reference from which to understand human experience? Should we zoom even further out to tribes or cultures, or zoom back in to an individuals biochemistry to get the best picture?

If we use Mother Nature as a guide, we see that when she likes an idea she sticks with it by conserving structures and strategies through increasing layers of complexity. Assuming this is true (which I do), we stand to learn a great deal from zooming in and out, from neurons to neighborhoods, while resisting the urge to become attached to any particular frame of reference. In this way, we may gain a deeper understanding of the interwoven tapestry of the biological, psychological, and social processes that constitute human life.

Unveiling the Social Synapse

Look closely at the body and you will discover layer upon layer of highly complex, interlocking systems. As you examine each layer, you will discover countless individual cells that differentiate and migrate to specific locations throughout the body. These cells, in turn, grow into an infinite variety of forms, organize into functional systems, integrate with other systems, and, ultimately, create an individual. This process we accept easily; but what about the notion that nature used this same strategy to connect individual animals (humans) into larger biological organisms, which we call families, tribes, and species?

Individual neurons are separated by small gaps called synapses . These synapses are not empty spaces by any means; rather, they are inhabited by a variety of chemical substances engaging in complex interactions that result in synaptic transmission . It is this synaptic transmission that stimulates each neuron to survive, grow, and be sculpted by experience. In fact, the activity within synapses is at least as important as what takes place within the neurons themselves. We know that neurons activate and influence one another through multiple biochemical messengers. Over vast expanses of evolutionary time, synaptic transmission has grown ever more intricate to meet the needs of an increasingly complex brain.

When it comes right down to it, doesnt communication between people consist of the same basic building blocks? When we smile, wave, and say hello, these behaviors are sent through the space between us. These messages are received by our senses and converted into electrical and chemical signals within our nervous systems. These internal signals generate chemical changes, electrical activation, and new behaviors that, in turn, transmit messages back across the social synapse.

The social synapse is the space between usa space filled with seen and unseen messages and the medium through which we are combined into larger organisms such as families, tribes, societies, and the human species as a whole. Because our experience as individual selves is lived at the border of this synapse and because so much communication occurs below conscious awareness, this linkage is mostly invisible to us. Much of this book focuses on unveiling the social synapse and exploring some of its mechanisms. Through this exploration we will examine how people, like neurons, excite, interconnect, and link together to create relationships.

If you can accept the idea of a social synapse, perhaps you might consider a second theoretical leap. Neurons have three sequential levels of information exchange that are called first , second , and third messenger systems . They are (1) the communication across the synapse that (2) changes the internal biochemistry of the cell, which, in turn, (3) activates mRNA ( messenger ribonucleic acid , the material that translates protein into new brain structure) and protein synthesis to change cellular structure. It is through these processes that the brain changes in response to experience. These three levels of information exchange are also taking place between individuals. In other words, when we interact, we are impacting each others internal biological state and influencing the long-term construction of each others brains. This, in essence, is how love becomes flesh.