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Sandra L. Brown - How to Spot a Dangerous Man. Workbook

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How to Spot a Dangerous Man. Workbook: summary, description and annotation

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This workbook is a companion piece to the authors forthcoming book HOW TO SPOT A DANGEROUS MAN BEFORE YOU GET INVOLVED, pub date 12/04. It is created to be used along with the book and also in the authors workshops on how women can make good relationship choices, although it can also be used by itself.
Women who date dangerous men fall into many categories, from the teenager to the divorcee, from the waitress to the professional woman. They often move from one category of dangerous man to another, from the violent to the unavailable, from there to the clinger. They need to figure out how to break this pattern, and this workbook serves that purpose.
This workbook is a realistic and effective tool for women to break the dangerous man pattern, and contains 22 worksheets/quizzes to lead women to the place where they can effectively create their personal DO NOT DATE list of red flags.
See table of contents for specifics.

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Table of Contents About the Author Sandra L Brown holds a masters degree - photo 1
Table of Contents

About the Author
Sandra L. Brown holds a masters degree in counseling. She is the founder and former executive director of Bridgework, Inc., a multifaceted nonprofit center for victims of violent crime. There, she provided both administrative leadership and clinical service through individual and group counseling.

She has worked as a therapist at hospital inpatient programs, residential treatment facilities, intensive outpatient programs, and other nonprofit treatment programs. She has been a keynote speaker, conference teacher, and workshop and retreat leader. She has taught counseling courses at the college level.

Sandra has provided consulting for human-service agencies in the area of program development for trauma-related disorders. She has assisted in international program development for the abandoned street children in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. She is a frequent guest of radio call-in shows and has hosted and produced her own TV show, A Voice for Victims.

She is the author of the books Counseling Victims of Violence and The Moody Pews, as well as numerous articles on clinical counseling and personal-growth issues.
Dedication

This book is dedicated to the women who shared with me
their stories about relationships with dangerous men. They did so
to help other women be safer.

Its also dedicated to my husband, Ken, who has shared with me
his insights on this topic, and to my girls, Lindsay and Lauren, that they may
enjoy meaningful, safe, and healthy relationships. And to Hunter House
Publishers and Kelley Blewster for their work on the book. And lastly to my
gal pals The Ya Yas you keep me centered and supply me with
endless feedback about the world we live in!
Ordering

Trade bookstores in the U.S. and Canada please contact:
Publishers Group West
1700 Fourth Street, Berkeley CA 94710
Phone: (800) 788-3123 Fax: (800) 351-5073
Hunter House books are available at bulk discounts for textbook course adoptions; to qualifying community, health-care, and government organizations; and for special promotions and fund-raising. For details please contact:
Special Sales Department
Hunter House Inc., PO Box 2914
Alameda CA 94501-0914
Phone: (510) 865-5282 Fax: (510) 865-4295
E-mail: ordering@hunterhouse.com
Individuals can order our books from most bookstores, by calling (800) 266-5592, or from our website at www.hunterhouse.com
Important Note The material in this book is intended to help women identify - photo 2
Important Note
The material in this book is intended to help women identify dangerous and potentially dangerous relationships. Every effort has been made to provide accurate and dependable information. The contents of the book have been compiled through professional research and in consultation with other professionals. However, the reader should be aware that professionals in the field have differing opinions.
Therefore, the publisher, author, and editors, as well as the professionals quoted in the book, cannot be held responsible for any error, omission, professional disagreement, or dated material. The author and publisher assume no responsibility for any outcome of applying the information in this book in a program of self-care or under the care of a licensed practitioner. If you have questions about the application of the information described in this book, consult a licensed therapist. If youre in a violent or potentially violent relationship, please call a domestic-abuse hotline.
Introduction
The process out of which a person emerges is essentially an inward process
IRA PROGOFF

(Note: This workbook was created as a supplement to the book How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved (Hunter House, 2005). The workbook is not meant to stand on its own. The main book examines in detail what makes men dangerous, the nature of pathology as it relates to dangerous men, the various types of dangerous men, and womens patterns in selecting dangerous men as dating partners. The background information presented in the main book is essential to understanding the concepts and questions presented in this workbook. To get the best results from doing the exercises in this workbook, please familiarize yourself with the material in the main book before beginning these exercises.)

Dangerous men come in all sorts of packages, from all types of backgrounds and families, from all lines of work. It behooves women to understand this because we remain unsafe if we categorize dangerous men simply as people we would not be attracted to. The reality is that at some time in their lives most women have dated a type of man this book would categorize as dangerous.
I define a dangerous man as any man who hurts a woman emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually, or financially. Dangerous men have wreaked havoc and caused pain in many womens lives. For many of us, it took significant time to heal from the experiences. We may or may not have learned from them. We may have failed to gain enough information and lessons from our experiences with dangerous men to keep us from repeating the pattern with yet another dangerous man. It is not uncommon for women to date as many as four or five dangerous men before they figure out their own personal patterns and respond by choosing differently the next time. But in the meantime, each painful experience with a dangerous man leaves its emotional mark on a womans life. And perhaps worse, each painful experience with a dangerous man unfortunately sets a woman up to date more dangerous men if she fails to recognize her specific patterns and stop the cycle of choosing dangerously.
This workbook is about inspecting your past and present relationships so that you can learn every possible insight from them. It will help you examine the type of men you have chosen and why you have chosen them. It will guide you in developing a personalized do-not-date list, compiled from an analysis of your past mistakes. You will write about your history using your own words. Thus, your do-not-date list becomes a reflection of your own experiences, selections, and insights.
Developing an Accountability Partner
When a tree grows by itself, it spreads out but does not grow tall. When trees grow together in the forest they help push each other up towards the sun.
ANCIENT ASIAN PROVERB

I believe in the power of two or more. We seem to do better when we are paired up. Thats why we date, marry, or have friendsbecause having others to do things with comforts and empowers us. In fact, I would go so far as to say that we do not heal in isolation; we heal in community.
Professionals in the field of psychology have long known that group therapy is often more effective than individual counseling. When someone is doing poorly in individual counseling because they are isolated, they often find their own voice, heal faster, and develop support systems for their ongoing recovery if we put them in group therapy. Some people have more success in their attempts to stop smoking, lose weight, or go back to school if they pair up with someone else who is aiming for the same goal. Together they can jump hurdles they might not have dared to on their own. A certain synergy happens when people who are on the same page in life motivate each other toward achieving their mutual goals.
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