Zenith Henkin Gross - Seasons of the Heart: Men and Women Talk About Love, Sex, and Romance After 60

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Page iii Seasons of the Heart Men and Women Talk about Love, Sex, and Romance after 60 Zenith Henkin Gross

Page iv New World Library 14 Pamaron Way Novato, California 94949 Copyright 2000 by Zenith Henkin Gross Edited by Gina Misiroglu Author photo by Michael Ian Cover design by Mary Ann Calser Text design and typography by Mary Ann Casler All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, or transmitted in any form, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review; nor may any part of this book be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or other, without written permission from the publisher. Pages 249 and 250 are an extension of the copyright page. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Gross, Zenith Henkin. Seasons of the heart : men and women talk about love, sex, and romance after 60 / by Zenith Henkin Gross. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 1-57731-108-6 (alk. paper) 1. Aged United States Sexual behavior Case studies. 2. Love in old age. I Title. HQ55.G76 2000 306.7'084'6dc21 99-086971 First Printing, May 2000 ISBN 1-57731-108-6 Printed in Canada on acid-free paper Distributed to the trade by Publishers Group West 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Page v In Sid's Memory For Bud and for the special people whose love centers my life: Katherine, Peter, Larry, Rose, Ken, Melinda, and Spencer, Sonya, and Langdon

Page vi Contents Preface ix Introduction 1 Chapter 1 Not the End of Song: Love When the World Says "No" and Elders Say "Yes" 17 Surprised by Joy: The Story of Barbara and Dave 19 Bringing the Invisible into the Light 26 Banishing the Shadows: The Story of Sarah and Alex 29 Risks and Rewards 34 Miss Lonelyhearts Meets the World Wide Web 39 Amitie Amoureuse: The Romantic Friendship 41 Trailblazer: Nelson Mandela 44 Chapter 2 Troubles and Triumphs: The Baggage We Bring 47 Miles to Go before They Sleep: John and Betty 50 Unpacking the Bags and Ironing Out the Wrinkles 53 Merited or Inherited: Money Matters 54 The Prenuptial Agreement: Distrust or Common Sense? 55 "Your Place or Mine?" Couples and the Sense of Place 56 "What Am I Doing Here?" 59 Little Kids, Little Problems: Big Kids, Big Problems 62

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