Barnouin - Skinny Bitch Book of Vegan Swaps

To my parents Linda and Rob,

Ive always wanted to make you proud,

while you just cared about my happiness.

I hope Ive achieved both in your eyes.

S o you say youre going vegan. Or at least youre going to give it a whirl. Maybe youll just try it for a weekend. Either way, youre doing it. Yay, you.

But its a wild, wild world out there. Beyond the meatless food trucks and vegan celebrities with live-in chefs, theres a supermarket thats ready to eat you whole, stilettos and all. Professional samplers stand behind tables shoving chicken cubes on toothpicks at you. The frozen-food aisles are full of crap I wouldnt feed to my cats. And the words natural, organic, and cruelty-free are competing for face time on packaged foods as if they were prime-time reality TV shows.

What you need, my friend, is someone who can show you the way; someone whos looking out for you.

Um, hello?! That would be me, bitch.

Let me tell you why Im your damn knight in shining armor, princess. Because Ive been there. Ive endured months on end eating frozen bean-and-rice burritos and soup out of a can, because I had no idea what I was doing. I had decided I wasnt going to eat meat and dairy, so as long as it didnt look like it used to have legs, live on a farm, or come out of a chickens ass, it looked good to me. But isnt that the problem? As vegans or pseudo-vegans, we tend to stuff our mouths with garbage, because we think our choices are limited. But theyre not, my dear. Not even close.

So regardless of what stage youre atgoing vegan cold turkey, taking the thirty-day challenge, or having been a clueless plant eater for yearsthis book is your supermarket bible. This is for all of you who have the compassion, decency, and dedication to make changes in your life that have an impact on our world, but just need to know what you have at your disposal and where to get it. I have done more than a years worth of research to assemble some of the tastiest, most authentic, and healthiest products in every category from meatless BBQ wings to gelatin-free marshmallows to vegan wine and beer, so that you can have the guidance I wish I had had all along.

Let me stress one word I just mentioned: healthy. Aside from more pure and nourishing alternatives for traditional animal products, I take it a step farther and offer more nutritious alternatives for conventional everyday foods such as flour, tortillas, canned tomatoes, peanut butter, chips, cereal, soda, and more. Basically, this in-depth guide covers everything you will stick in your kids mouth or put in your health-conscious pantry or refrigerator.

Heres the kick in the ass: nowadays, its tough to tell the difference between a pineapple and a preservative. The food on our shelves is not only making us fat; its also responsible for a number of diseases and ailments, including attention deficit disorder (ADHD), diabetes, heart disease, and even cancer. As we make transitions in our diets, we assume the responsibility for arming ourselves with the knowledge and tools to make grocery shopping a safe activity again. Because nobody is watching out for you but you.

I admit that not every product in this book is squeaky clean. Some still contain a few artificial ingredients I dont love. But were human. Sometimes we need a piece of soy beef jerky or a calorie-packed salad dressing to get us through PMS or a shitty breakup. The point is to give you options. Options are key, honey. Once you know how much is out there, have the time to experiment with new products, find what your taste buds fancy, and switch things up, the rest is easy. Youve eliminated your obstacles, and before you know it seitan tastes like the real thing.

Before I shut up, to make sure you are constantly entertained by this transition, I put together lists of natural-food retailers, popular airport food, and my favorite restaurants and bakeries across the country, so youll know where to shop and where to go when youre on the road. And for those of you debating how to get started, I created a weekend vegan menu and recipes to strip away any anxiety. (I dont cope well with panic attacks.)

In a perfect world, well, my perfect world, ditching meat and animal products wouldnt be that tough. Healthy, meatless foods that made us feel and live better would be available in vending machines. Natural-food retailers would replace the food superstore or Starbucks on every corner. But, lets face itthe world aint perfect. And Ill be darned, neither is the supermarket.

Until then, youre just going to have to be the chick carrying a book around the grocery store with the word bitch on the cover. Youre welcome.

Love & Peace,

Kim

I ts not about who you know, but where you shop, sugar. There is no doubt that major grocery chains are getting privy to our needs with dedicated health-food sections. Hell, even superstores such as Walmart and Target carry vegan and vegetarian products that are gentle on the ole wallet nowadays.

But if you want to guarantee you will find most of the items in this book, you have to know where to push that cart. I compiled a list of retailers from all over the country for your convenience, so dont feel as though youre screwed if you dont live in a major metropolitan hub. You should be able to find one near your neighborhood.

A jaunt through Henrys, which has dozens of locations throughout California, will feel like youre shopping on a farmexcept without the dudes in overalls. The health-food store offers a nice variety of vegan products in addition to fresh, organic produce sourced locally, whole grains in bulk bins, natural supplements, and baked goods. Everything is affordable, and youll just want to give the staff a big hug. Henrys website even offers recipes and a blog on health and wellness. For locations, visit henrys markets.com.

The Mecca of all things natural health, Whole Foods is more than just a specialty retailer for health freaks. On its floors you can find almost any product in this book, some of which belong to its private line of signature products: 365 Everyday Value. It also offers health screenings, body and personal care products, online podcasts, and a loan program for small, local food producers. My only nitpick would be that it hasnt earned the nickname Whole Paycheck for no reasonit tends to be on the pricier side, but you pay for the convenience of one-stop shopping. Whole Foods stores are scattered all over the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. For locations, visit wholefoodsmarket.com.

The go-to source for natural foods and vegan and vegetarian products if you live near one in Texas. Sunflower Shoppe is family owned and operated, with one location in Forth Worth and another north of Dallas in Colleyville. Aside from the usual fresh produce, supplements, and health products, Sunflower has a caf and certified nutritionists on staff. For locations, visit sunflowershoppe.com.

Not to be confused with Sunflower Shoppe, Sunflower Farmers Market is popping up in many locations with a great selection of natural and organic products for stellar prices. Visit the website to download coupons and sale flyers before hitting the aisles. There are thirty-four locations throughout Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah, California, and Texas. For locations, visit sunflowermarkets.com.