Jennifer B. Kahnweiler PhD - The genius of opposites : how introverts and extroverts achieve extraordinary results together

Other books by the author

The Introverted Leader

Quiet Influence

The Genius of Opposites

How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together

Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, PhD

The Genius of Opposites

Copyright 2016 by Jennifer B. Kahnweiler

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First Edition

Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-62656-305-6

PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-62656-306-3

IDPF e-book ISBN 978-1-62656-307-0

2015-1

Interior design and project management: Dovetail Publishing Services

Cover design: Ian Koviak / The Book Designers

To my daughters, Lindsey and Jessie, who open my heart

Contents

Preface

It comes down to different styles. That is the cause of most conflicts at work. You are an extrovert, Jennifer, and Amy, your assistant, is an introvert. Until you accept that basic fact and learn to work with her, your department wont get to where it needs to be.

These words from Peter, an outside company consultant, were hard to hear. I had really worked at moving Amy along and expected her to adopt my energy and pace. None of my efforts were working. Trying to fix Amy and mold her into a mini-Jennifer was actually making things worse. Our partnership had already fizzled despite my herculean efforts.

Though it was too late to make things work then, failing to establish a productive work relationship with Amy did motivate me to learn more about introverts and extroverts. This book is the result of my extensive research with many famous and not so famous introvert/extrovert duos over a thirty-year consulting, coaching, and speaking career.You will discover why it can be so hard to thrive in some of your relationships with opposites. You will learn about five essential steps that successful opposites use to navigate the tricky waters of their relationships. And you will discover why these five steps are important, how they can break down, and what practical solutions you can use to achieve extraordinary results together.

Whats in This Book?

Because I rarely read a book cover to cover myself, Ive tried to make the book easy to navigateand include short summaries and questions for you to consider at the end of each chapter. That way you can dip in and out of chapters that interest you.

We start off in the introduction with the major theme of the book: opposites are most successful when they stop focusing on their differences and use approaches that move them toward results.In , How to Mix Oil and Water, lays out the Genius of Opposites Process, the basis of the book. You will learn how both you and your opposite can Accept the Alien, Bring on the Battles, Cast the Character, Destroy the Dislike, and learn why Each Cant Offer Everything. There is a quiz to help you assess what you have in common with high-functioning opposites. You can take it and compare your results with your partners results. through 7 are replete with stories of genius opposites in workplaces around the world. You will learn from their experiences what to do and not to do when handling the dynamic act of working together. wraps it all up and helps you jumpstart your plan for success.So are you ready to hear about:

The world-famous composers who felt they had much more to offer the world in an already-impressive roster of songs, but they couldnt get over their dislike of each other?

The automobile CEO who was outmaneuvered by a new CEO in an ill-fated merger of equals?

The remarkably insightful pair of film critics who almost missed their chance to appreciate each others great gifts because they were so busy competing with each other?

The skilled consultants who lost their business because they couldnt reconcile their styles and modify their firm when the Great Recession hit?

Given that an estimated approximately 50 percent of people in the world fall on either the introvert or extrovert side of the spectrum, chances are that you have interacted with or will interact with your opposites often. The outcomes of some of your wildly successful and disastrous ventures were determined by whether you were in synch with or at polarity from introverts or extroverts. Perhaps youve left a project because one of the key team members was an opposite type to you, and the frustration overcame you.There is no way to assess how many breakthrough ideas never broke through because opposites could not get over the barriers their differences caused. You may have a few in mind from your own career.It doesnt have to be that way .

Introduction
A Deceptively Easy but Highly Delicate Balancing Act

Introvert and extrovert opposites, working together, can accomplish great things. Think John Lennon and Paul McCartney, Sheryl Sandberg and Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, Ralph David Abernathy and Martin Luther King Jr., and Eleanor Roosevelt and Franklin Roosevelt. The list is extensivelikely in your life as well.

Opposites like these attract, right? They often get along very well as work partners and fill in each others voids. They create beautiful harmonies together.Yet, there is another pervasive and darker truth. These high-performing duos may have the illusion of being effortlessly well balanced. In reality, complementary opposites can go off the rails very quickly, and the damage can be as negative as the impacts are positive.There are often temporary and longer deep freezes and estrangements between partners. Advice columnists and twin sisters Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren didnt speak for seven years. Politicians Teddy Roosevelt and William Howard Taft let politics overtake their friendship. The Nobel prizewinning scientists James Watson and Francis Crick stopped working together after they discovered DNA. We are familiar with the pain of too many of these work and personal breakups between opposites.Think of marriage as one example of this phenomenon. For a marriage to succeed, we need to figure out how to deal with each other beyond the initial attraction and honeymoon phases. We know that both partners need to work at it. A happy marriage doesnt just happen.The truth is that these opposite pairs require constant vigilance, careful maintenance, and balance. Without this focused attention, not only do the partners experience frustration, but their potentially great contributions are not realized. In the workplace, their organizations, clients, and customers all lose out.So what is the common theme of success?The key is to remember that these relationships are most successful when opposites stop focusing on their differences and use approaches that move them toward results.Next page