Jennifer B. Kahnweiler - Quiet Influence: The Introverts Guide to Making a Difference

QUIET
Influence

Quiet Influence

Copyright 2013 by Jennifer B. Kahnweiler

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First Edition

Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-60994-562-6

PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-60994-563-3

IDPF e-book ISBN 978-1-60994-564-0

2013-1

Project management and interior design by Dovetail Publishing Services

Cover design and production by PermaStudio

The Introverts Guide to
Making a Difference

Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, PhD

To Bill, who has quietly influenced me
to love him... then and now.

In every performance review, Im told I need to speak up more. That I need to spend less time in my office with my door closed. My boss says I have to sell my ideas with more enthusiasm. My co-workers say that I need to be more of a team player and less of a report generator. Believe me, Ive tried. It seems that when I try to develop those skills, though, Im just acting like someone else. I feel as if I have less of an impact rather than more. How can I be me and still make a difference?

Sari sighed and shrugged her shoulders with more than a hint of frustration as she posed the question to me during a workshop I was leading at her company. Ive been asked a similar question many times, and I always feel a sense of sorrow in answering. The reality is that introverts are indeed continually asked to adapt to an extrovert-centric workplace that rewards being out there and on stage. Organizational cultures support those who talk about their accomplishments, who spend more time out and about networking instead of alone deep in thought, and who make sure they are the first to get their ideas heard.

If you are an introvert, you probably feel as perplexed and underappreciated as Sari. Know that you are not alone and that there is a solutionone that not only honors who you are but also dramatically and immediately ramps up your ability to make a difference at work. Quiet Influence gives you that solution and shows that it resides precisely in the place where you are most comfortable: deep inside yourself.

This book is not about how introverts need to adapt to an outgoing, extroverted world. Instead, its about learning from the Quiet Influencers among us who are making just as much, if not more, of a difference than their extroverted colleagues.

Its just that they are going about it in such a, well... quiet way that few seem to notice them. So many books about influence miss the mark, extolling a more extroverted approach that involves winning people over by talking things up, presenting great arguments and quickly and aggressively convincing others to do what they want them to do.

Over my years of working with introverted professionals and studying the process of influence, I have become convinced that introverts can be highly effective influencers when they stop trying to act like extroverts and instead make the most of their natural, quiet strengths.

Because youve probably tried the extroverted methods, why not take a walk on the quiet side? You can become a more effective influencer when you tap into your natural strengths, and in the pages that follow Im going to show you how. Youll recognize your strengths and learn ways to enhance and magnify them. You will deepen your understanding of how introverts like you succeed at influence. If you are open to building on your natural strengths through conscious practice, you will perfect core skills, develop heightened sensibilities, and bump up your confidence to influence all kinds of people and situations. As a result, you will greatly enhance your influencing success rate by embracing an alternative to traditionally western Type A approaches to interactions.

Perhaps you land more on the extroverted side of the line as someone energized by people and the outside world. Why not take a walk on the quiet side? Through this book, you will deepen your understanding of how introverts succeed at influence. You will find that learning from introverts offers an enlightening opportunity to balance out your own (likely louder) ways of influencing. If you are open to experimenting with a different side of yourself, you will greatly enhance your own influencing portfolio so that you can have a bigger impact in a wider variety of situations. Youll get noticed precisely because you are trying something new.

Do you work in a company? How about in a nonprofit that competes for funding?

Do you work in a government agency with contractors?

Are you an entrepreneur or freelancer who sells products or services?

Are you in technology, engineering, or science?

Do you work in sales, marketing, project management, teaching, medicine, the law, human resources, or administration?

The truth is that everyone in a professional role needs to influence others. From Seoul to Seattle, todays competitive workplace demands that you influence a variety of situations and people, not once in a while but multiple times a day. Although influence is sometimes about really big issues and opportunities, it is also about nudging change along one small step at a time.

Noted researchers such as Jay Conger (The Necessary Art of Persuasion) have found that selling ideas and getting people on board is a process, not an event.others and negotiating a shared solution. This approach is well suited to the introvert temperament. It involves patience, planning, and perseverance. If we all think that the only way to get things done is to shout louder and louder and take up more center-stage space, well miss the opportunities to listen, learn, and respond thoughtfully.