Robert Smith: without my chance meeting with him there would be no book.
Jeff Hudson, whose attention to detail, and extraordinary ability to capture the nuance of the moment, have been the keystone in the writing of this account.
Mum, Harry, Dad, Gran and Bang Bang for an amazing childhood, and for providing the foundations for the man I would grow to be.
All the servicemen and women I have had the privilege of working with and for. Thanks for an incredible career and, most importantly, for keeping me alive!
Toby Buchan, and the editing, design, production and sales and marketing teams at John Blake Publishing and Bonnier Books UK, for allowing me the opportunity to tell my story; a process that has had immense therapeutic value. Thank you.
W ere moving along the coast. All eyes are on the starboard flank. Enemy soldiers could be anywhere. The ships already been attacked several times. Weve done plenty of attacking too, dont you worry. Were looking, were looking, were looking. Most of the country has been taken back but you only need one insurgent to cause damage. Thats when I saw it.
Saw what, Granddad?
Ten-year-old me was on tenterhooks. Like I always was when Granddad shared his war stories.
Movement, Robert. Up there in the hills. We thought the buildings were empty but here and there were definite signs of life. One of the buildings had a chimney roaring. In Greece, in September. What are the odds on that?
I didnt know anything about the Greek climate in 1944, not at that age, but if Granddad thought it was suspicious, then so did I.
What happened next?
So, he said, we raise the alarm. Every gun on that battleship points into the hills. Then the order comes.
He paused. Smiling at me. Waiting.
Fire! I shout.
Thats right. And thats what we do. All of us. We rain hell on those offices and houses. We can see them disintegrate before our eyes. Suddenly one of the doors opens. The one with the chimney. Dozens of German soldiers come running out, but theyre not carrying guns. Theyve got towels wrapped around their waists, some of them not even that. It was a bath house wed been firing at, you see. The men had been there for a wash.
Did you kill them?
He went silent. The sparkle in his eyes dulled.
Did I kill them? he repeated. Not intentionally, Robert, no.
Why not?
I couldnt bring myself to fire on a naked man, Granddad said. Its not the way we do things in this country.
So what did you do?
I strafed them all the way up the hill. Everywhere they ran there were bullet holes a few inches behind them. A few of them would have got ricochet wounds on their backsides. I couldnt get any closer.
Couldnt or wouldnt? I had to ask.
You can only do what your conscience allows, Granddad said. It takes a hell of a lot to fire a lethal shot.
I laughed. I was ten. I couldnt help it. I was raised on the cowboy films of John Wayne and Clint Eastwood and the wartime escapades of Richard Burton and that man Clint again. Those guys shot anything that moved. Didnt they?
Someone needs to watch a bit more closely, Granddad laughed. Duke never shot a man who didnt deserve it. Clint neither. None of them did. I hope you never learn for yourself what it means to take a life.
He could never have known that one day I would take that shot for myself. That Id look into a mans eyes and make the decision to end his life. The first time is the hardest, but it never gets easy. Each kill is as horrific as the last. But its what Im trained to do. Im a Royal Marine. We train longer and harder than any other section of the British military with one purpose: to be able to defend our country or attack our enemies more effectively.