Zahra Al-Harazi - 15 Jan

I am a girl from Yemen.

For me, this simple sentence holds endless complexity. You likely have already formed some opinion, about me, about this book. I will tell you, though, that whatever you first imagined me to be, I am also the opposite.

I am East and I am Westand every single damn thing in between. From obedient Muslim daughter to one of Canadas most powerful women. From dutiful housewife to independent businesswoman. From not being allowed to drive to getting my very own motorcycle. From a twenty-year-old married woman with children to a forty-something wild child. I am a million conflicted contradictions rolled into one uncomplicated, complicated person.

I spent much of my life bending myself into thousands of different shapes in order to be the person I thought I had to be. Ultimately, I learned that what I needed was not the ability to fit in, but the freedom and the courage to step away.

This is a story about what happens when the ideals to which you cling most tightly begin to slip from your grasp: what that openness feels like, beyond the fear that without those definitions there is no you. This book is about what it takes to build a life that is your ownto free your mind from its many ugly demons and to walk into the future without the chains that hold you back.

Bookstores are crammed with books full of formulas for success, for happiness, for wealth, health, and fulfillment. Magazines, courses, and websites by the thousands claim to show you how to follow your passion and your desires. They claim to help you define who you think you need to be and draw a picture for you about what life should look like.

Here is the truth: There is no magic bullet, formula, or rule book. And there is not one single template.

I will tell you what it takes: it takes everything you have... and then some more.

It takes your experiences, your hard work, your talent, and your perseverance. It takes history and community. It takes opportunities and doors that are open and some that are closed. It takes those you love and the values for which you are willing to sacrifice... and sometimes, it simply takes luck and being in the right place at the right time.

It takes legacy that has nothing to do with your ability.

Researchers have found evidence that your ancestors childhoods or adventures might affect your personality, gifting you with anxiety or resilience. Along with my great grandmothers Burmese nose, my mothers Indian skin, and my fathers Yemeni forehead, I inherited a series of advantages and benefits from those who came before me. My fundamental, unchangeable self has been shaped by generations and entire worlds of tradition.

Yours has too.

I wrote What It Takes to show you that everything you need to live your best life is already in you. It begins with acknowledging your roots. You can pull the nourishment of your history from the earth. And you should let it serve you, even as you acknowledge the pain and regrets you still carry.

Acknowledge and accept setbacks that will knock you to your knees and conflicts that will shake your most fundamental beliefs.

Because what it takes is more than simply overcoming the hurdles that arrive in your life without warning or apology: it takes the humility to learn how to embrace them.

It will take joy. Delight in the journey, as rocky as it is, and gratitude for the opportunities we have to share the road.

In this book I share my understanding of identity and the ideas that help meand, I hope, may help youstay grounded through lifes challenges. These themes are the filter through which I consider every decision, approach, and opinionand a raft when I have (frequently) thrown myself into deep, uncharted water.

What these themes are not are the things other people will tell you that you have to find. Yes, you need typical things like resilience, strength, passion, courage, and motivation, and you need them in spades; however, those are simply table stakes. They are non-negotiable, set in stone. If you dont have them, you wont survive.

The themes in this book are much simpler. They are the small things that fix the big things. The baby steps that lead to winning the long game.

Our body of experience forms a unique prism through which we each see the world and its potential. The longer we livewith every breath, blink, and soundthe more facets we acquire.

Like everyone else, my prism is what I see the world through. For years, I felt owned by it. I made predictable decisions, looking in one boring direction. I was defined by a single angle. Trapped. Stuck.

So I learned how to turn the damn thing around.

I considered new possibilities that swung open new doors and blew open my mind with bold new perspectives. Just like that, I was undefined, unstuck, and liberated by my very own life experience.

Knowing who you are is incredibly hard, Ive learned. So Ive spent a lot of time figuring out who Im not. When I feared Id drown in the depth of a situation, Ive found comfort in the shallows. And in so doing, I have come to understand that the circumstances in my life may actually be less important than how much control I have over them.

None of this makes me exemplary. I learn every day. But now, when I am challenged, I have faith that my true power lies not in how much I adapt but in the fact that, no matter what life throws at me, I am, at my core, still the same person. And that I will be okay.

This is a story about discovering you can live a life that reflects the hopes of those who love you, and who have loved you. No matter how you differ, there is a best version of yourself that you can give them in return for this love: someone who is content, challenged, focused, and free.

You can be all the contradictory things that inspired you to open this book. And you can thrive.

What it takes, above all, is all of the above... and then some more.