Lou Harvey-Zahra - Happy Child, Happy Home: Conscious Parenting and Creative Discipline

A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank balance was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove but the world may be a different place because I was important in the life of a child.

FOREST E. WITCRAFT

What is Conscious Parenting? Conscious Parenting describes the approach of parents who try to stay open-minded and present with their childs needs and behaviours. Conscious Parenting is the care of children that emerges when we see the world from a childs perspective and understand the important stage of childhood. Children are not little adults; they have their own world, their own way of looking at life. Conscious Parenting asks: What is important in that world? What do I need to provide to truly nurture childhood and create a happy home? Many answers to these questions are found in this book, which is full of suggestions I have practised and insights I have applied in my personal and professional life with children.

In this book we will explore the ways that connection, creativity and communication in family life lay the foundation for a happy childhood and a happy home. I call these keys to happiness the three Cs. It is these three Cs working together that leads to the big C: consciousness. It is through practising connection, creativity and communication at home that we arrive at conscious parenting.

No microchip is downloaded the moment we become parents. We do not know how to deal with challenging discipline issues, provide positive play spaces or create Christmas craft! Happy Child, Happy Home is a parenting guide to take along on the journey. It will support you as you develop the ideas and awareness that foster happy and healthy children and make a house a home. This book aims to cover a very broad range of topics in one easy read. It is for parents to pick up when they seek inspiration, support, information or guidance.

I have witnessed families where the three Cs were not present; it was evident to me that day-to-day life was a struggle for both parent and child. And, having helped parents discover the three Cs, I have then watched positive transformations in the family home.

The ideas in Happy Child, Happy Home aim to develop calm and happy children who feel connected to their loved ones. Rather than this being hard work for parents, it is a way to joy and makes the parenting journey easier. This book envisages the home as a creative environment that fosters positive behaviours and a strong bond between parent and child.

Happy Child, Happy Home is written in a highly practical way. Note that the title is not Perfect Parenting. I know how hard it can be! I have years of training and experience in caring for children, yet I am not a perfect parent far from it. I also know that if we were perfect, this would ultimately be difficult for our children: living up to perfection is impossible! Conscious Parenting involves being aware of when things in the family are not working, and being willing to change them. I do strive to become more aware of my shortcomings and make changes (albeit slowly at times).

Family life can be seen as an emotional bank account: large withdrawals will happen from time to time. Challenges are inevitable as we go through the years, so we need to put in positive deposits on a daily basis. Investments from stable, happy and connected times see us through patches of disconnection or anger. Happy Child, Happy Home is full of practical ideas that can function as deposits in the familys emotional bank account, and stop you from going into the red!

Over the past twenty years I have sought to understand childrens developmental needs through my work as a teacher in primary, special needs and Rudolf Steiner settings; as a playgroup leader and parenting workshop facilitator; and of course in parenting my own two children. This book contains much of what I have seen and learnt, but I have also included many other voices, including the real stories of parents who have talked with me, thoughts from a dads perspective (Michael), and words from my son, Jayson, at the age of seven, so a child can also be heard here.

The thought of writing this book came to me when I was pregnant with my first child. After the birth I was so inspired by parenting and the joys of early childhood I embarked on a fourteen-year quest to explore what might make a happy child, a happy home, a happy Earth. I wrote on bits of paper everywhere I went, and even asked for a dictaphone from Father Christmas to note my inspirations. I tried different activities and approaches, fell down at times, picked myself up, and tried again! I wrote notes because I always wanted to share my tips and discoveries with other parents. This book is the result, and it is one I would have loved as a new parent.

For me, parenting is not about theories I am far from being an academic; what we need are the practical ideas and approaches that make everyday family life full of love, joy and (where possible!) fun. There are many books about parenting, but for me the essence of it all is building a strong family life. All the parenting tips I have presented are about connecting, communicating and creating together as a family.

A childs pivotal, formative experiences happen within family life. The quality of family life shapes a childs future attitudes, and colours their approach to the world. As parents, we are the creators of our childrens experiences; we shape their whole framework for being and understanding. When we are more conscious, we enhance childrens potential to become happy, centred and fulfilled adults. While this is a big statement, it is the small, everyday ideas for family life that make the BIG difference. Conscious Parenting is not about doing entirely new or major things with your children; it is the everyday little things that matter.