Chitra Jha - The Art of Conscious Parenting

Hay House Publishers (India) Pvt. Ltd.

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Copyright 2016 Chitra Jha

The views and opinions expressed in this book are the authors own and the facts are as reported by her. They have been verified to the extent possible, and the publishers are not in any way liable for the same.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording, nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use other than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews without prior written permission of the publisher.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself which is your constitutional right the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

ISBN 978- 93-84544-08-9

ISBN 978-93-84544-47-8(ebook)

Printed and bound at

Rajkamal Electric Press, Sonipat, Haryana (India)

This book is dedicated to
all past, present, and future parents.

CONTENTS

Chapter 1
Becoming a Parent

Chapter 2
Understanding a Childs World

Chapter 3
Parenting Myths and Misconceptions

Chapter 4
Prevalent Models of Parenting

Chapter 5
Conscious Parenting

Chapter 6
The Seven-year Cycles of Growth

Chapter 7
Conception and Birth

Chapter 8
Newborns and Infants (0-18 months)

Chapter 9
The Toddlers (18 months-3 years)

Chapter 10
The Kindergarten Kids (3-6 years)

Chapter 11
Pre-adolescents (7-12 years)

Chapter 12
Teenagers (13-19 years)

Chapter 13
Young Adults (20-20+ years)

Chapter 14
The New Age Children

Chapter 15
Children with Special Needs

Chapter 16
Childhood Emotional Blockages

Chapter 17
Correcting Parenting Mistakes

I dont know if you are a parent or thinking of becoming one. I dont know if you feel doubtful about your parenting skills or just looking to add a new dimension to your already commendable skills. All I know is that this book covers the entire spectrum of parenting and is just the right resource material for you.

Each child is unique and the parenting dynamics of each home are different. However, there are certain common factors and understandings that can help us bring about a heightened awareness into the process of parenting, as opposed to letting it dominate the everyday. This is called conscious parenting.

As a parent, I have gone through all the stages of parenthood. And as a parenting educator, I have counselled innumerable individuals and couples. This book is thus a culmination of my experiences in both these roles and will guide you through each stage of your childs growth from conception until young adulthood. The expansive research also includes guidance for children with special needs, adopted children, and single parents.

The information given here is only as a guideline to help you make your own conscious choices as a parent. Some of it may seem quite contrary to what you have always known. But then the times are not what we have always known, nor are the children! New times require new thoughts and angles, and that is what this book brings to you.

Read with an open mind and take only what resonates with you.

Nature has so decreed that when a sperm-producing male and an ovum-producing female come together in a physical sexual act, there are 50 per cent chances of a new life being conceived. This biological process makes parents out of two adults who may or may not be ready for parenthood.

What does it take to be ready for parenthood? Is it enough to be married, be of a certain age, economically independent, and physically healthy to become parents? Or, is there something more to it?

Responsibility

Lets have a baby is one statement that changes lives forever. It is one of those huge decisions that change everything one has hitherto known. Parenting may be just a biological task for non-human species but for humans it is a lifelong responsibility of fulfilling childrens physical needs, protecting them from harms way, imparting skills and values, and helping them stand on their own two feet.

Most people get married by choice or by parental decree and get officially ready to start a family by way of producing children. But more often than not, the most ignored factor remains the psychological readiness of the couple. In fact, it is the most important factor which determines what kind of parents a couple would turn out to be.

Our society romanticizes the images of parenthood so much that we set very high expectations from it. It is true that parenting can be a lot of fun, but it is also a lot of hard work. Parenting is a lifelong project and if we are not prepared for it, it can give us more heartaches than joy. Besides the demand on our time, energy, emotions, and resources, parenting can bring up our own emotional issues squarely in our face.

Most of us have been brought up to expect that one day we will become parents but no one has ever told us how important it is to heal ourselves before bringing in a new life. Before we can parent our children, we must parent the child within. Because unless we do that, we will end up passing on our own insecurities, fears, and complexities to our children.

Since parenting is a joint venture, both the partners must be in complete agreement to shoulder this onerous responsibility for the sake of a happy future for the children.

Choice

Before you decide to bring a child into this world, spend some time with the thought of becoming a parent. What do you think are the responsibilities and commitments of being a parent? Do you enjoy spending time with children? What is your relationship with your parents? How do you feel about the parenting that you received? What did you or did not enjoy about being a child? What are your assumptions about life with children? What ages of children are you most comfortable with? If you are not comfortable with a particular age group, think of your own childhood at that age. Perhaps there is something which needs to be resolved there. What are your fears? How do you cope with stress?

Answer these questions truthfully.

If you are already a parent, spend some time with the thought of life without your children. How does it make you feel?

Be honest with your feelings. Dont let your logical mind take over; just listen to your feelings.

Often, in India, couples get coerced into parenthood by societal or marital pressures. Becoming parents and then regretting the decision does great harm not only to yourself but also to your children. This is one decision you cant backtrack from; so make the right choice for yourself and your partner. Remember, parenting is not for everyone, so dont feel guilty if you dont choose it.