Eloise Rickman - Extraordinary Parenting: the essential guide to parenting and educating at home

extraordinary parenting

Eloise Rickman is a parent educator who works with clients around the world through online courses and coaching, and through her Instagram account @mightymother_. Her work focuses on evidence-based parenting, home education, and helping families find more rhythm and ease in their daily lives. She is a trained doula, and previously studied social anthropology at Cambridge University, where she first became interested in how childhood and family practices shape society. She lives in south London with her husband, Sam, and young daughter, Frida, who has been home educated from birth.

Scribe Publications
2 John St, Clerkenwell, London, WC1N 2ES, United Kingdom
1820 Edward St, Brunswick, Victoria 3056, Australia
3754 Pleasant Ave, Suite 100, Minneapolis, Minnesota 55409 USA

Published by Scribe in 2020

Copyright Eloise Rickman 2020

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publishers of this book.

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9781913348540 (UK edition)
9781922310460 (Australian edition)
9781950354504 (US edition)
9781925938647 (ebook)

Catalogue records for this book are available from the National Library of Australia and the British Library.

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For Frida.

My bones will always love your bones.

Contents

The five pillars of parenting and educating at home

Educating at home

My parenting philosophy: a beautiful childhood

Chapter One:

Nurturing growing brains

Building resilience

Understanding behaviour as a form of communication

When you disagree on parenting styles

Unconditional Positive Regard

Moving away from control-based parenting

Keeping calm in a crisis

Talking to children about uncertainty

Supporting children through change

Using play to support emotional development

Challenging behaviour and playful parenting

Turning frowns upside down

Play helps children process

Playdough emotions

Positive communication

Nonviolent Communication

When words are not enough

Supporting your child through strong feelings and navigating tantrums

Sportscasting

How to keep yourself calm during tricky times

What to do when youve lost your cool

Connecting through nonverbal communication

The inner work of parenting

Identifying your parenting triggers

Developing self-awareness

Chapter Two:

Rhythm, not routine

Identifying your familys needs and values

Identifying your parenting values

Identifying your familys needs

Daily rhythms

Breathing in, breathing out

Example rhythm for daily life at home with young children

Anchors

Morning time and tea time

Working space for self-care into your daily rhythm

Weekly rhythms

Sites of Mutual Fulfilment

When your weeks are unpredictable

Rhythm for differently wired children

Rhythm when your child has two homes

Finding your rhythm when working from home

Balancing working and childcare

Breathing in, breathing out again

Adapting to your new normal

What about weekends?

Weekends in times of change

Seasonal rhythms

Creating a visual rhythm

Suggestions for visual rhythms

Reclaiming your rhythm when life throws you a curve-ball

Chapter Three:

The home as a prepared environment

Think cosy, not classroom

Making space for beauty

Tips on cleaning for people who hate to clean

Making smaller spaces work for you

Your home is for living, not a show home

Adapting your home to different life stages

Meeting your familys needs through your home

Creating a yes space

How to cultivate a prepared environment if you move around a lot

Meeting your childs need for independence

Meeting your childs need to create

Meeting your childs need for movement

Meeting your childs need for rest

Meeting your childs need for play

Toy rotation

Four steps to better concentration and deeper play

The power of simplicity

The benefits of simplifying

Toys which will stand the test of time

Some of my favourite toys

Cultivating your home to encourage independent play

Chapter Four:

Natural born learners

Knowledge is king

Raising scientists

The impact of stress

Unplanned homeschooling

Navigating the space between school and home

Putting the home in home education

Homeschooling kit list

Learning and play ideas for all ages and stages

Activity ideas for all ages

A note on nature

Activity ideas for toddlers and pre-schoolers

Activity ideas for school-age children

A few words on teenagers

Supporting teens stuck at home

Home education, not school at home

Socialising when you cant go out

Homeschooling through crisis: a note for home educators

Supporting sibling dynamics

What to do when everyone needs you at the same time

Building your childs motivation

The problem with praise

Growth mindset

The erosion of intrinsic motivation

How can I encourage my child without rewards?

Sharing in your childs joy

Chapter Five:

Your needs deserve to be taken seriously

Modelling self-care to our children

Fit your own oxygen mask first

What exactly is self-care?

Know that you deserve care and pleasure

Some ideas for self-care

Nurture your mind

Take care of your mental health

Respect your body

Create a restful home environment

Protect your boundaries

Self-compassion

Bringing mindfulness to our lives as parents

Simple mindfulness exercises

Getting your needs met while parenting

Finding community

Creating space apart from your children

When your needs clash with your childrens needs

Sharing the load

The marriage meeting

Afterword:

Preface

As I write this, for the first time in history, schools and childcare settings in countries across the world have been closed to the majority of children, with no set date to reopen; everyone has been instructed to stay home due to the COVID-19 virus.

This is a worrying time for families, who find themselves juggling childcare and working from home, alongside reduced income and job losses, and the anxiety and health concerns that come with a global pandemic. Millions of parents have suddenly found themselves in the position of effectively having to home educate their children, without any of the resources or research that families who ordinarily homeschool would have access to. And even families who usually homeschool are finding themselves doing so without the groups, classes, museums, parks, and public libraries that form a part of their daily lives.