David Coleman - Parenting is Childs Play: How to Give Your Child the Best Start in Life--and Have Fun Doing it

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First published 2007

Copyright David Coleman, 2007
Illustrations copyright Anna Hymas, 2007

The moral right of the author has been asserted

All rights reserved

ISBN: 978-0-14-192789-3

for
Michle, Conall, Megan and anna

DAVID COLEMAN is a husband and father of three children. In his spare time he is a clinical psychologist who works with children, teenagers and their families who experience a range of emotional or behavioural difficulties. As well as doing counselling and therapy with children and teenagers, David also supervises, and offers consultation to, others who work with children and families. He gives lectures and facilitates workshops around Ireland on topics such as parenting, bullying, communicating with children and dealing with challenging behaviour.

David is the presenter of the popular RT television programme Families in Trouble, in which he gets stuck in to help parents sort out different issues they have with their childrens behaviour. He also contributes regularly to radio and print media on children, childhood issues and parenting. This is his first book.

Having children is a big challenge and a huge responsibility, but nobody says it cant be fun too. It might sound unlikely to describe it as childs play, but parenting can be a truly positive experience when your child respects you and responds to what you ask. And your child is more likely to respect you and respond to you when you have built a positive relationship based on fun and consistency. When our children are happy and having fun we tend to be happier and have more fun too. Contented children dont have too many behaviour problems!

The good news is that there are things we can do to make the whole process of rearing children easier. And in this book I am going to tell you what they are

Parenting can be childs play but and of course theres a but its just not always easy. Since our children dont come with instruction manuals most of us approach parenting on the basis of trial and error. Although this is a good enough approach to parenting, the trouble starts when we dont realize that we are making errors, or when we do realize it, but just cant figure how to make things right. The good news is that there are things we can do to make the whole process of rearing children easier. And in this book I am going to tell you what they are and how you can apply them to your own situation.

Parenting is Childs Play focuses on the first six years of the game of growing with your children. It explains the basic gist of what that game is about and it will help you to develop specific rules to guide your own fun in playing.

Im not interested in perfection in parenting for the simple reason that we are human and by our nature humans are imperfect. That means well make mistakes in lots of areas, including how we raise our children. I only have the nerve to write a book like this because I know I have messed it up myself on many an occasion and Im still learning as I go. In the book you get not just my experience and knowledge as a child psychologist but you also get my wisdom (limited as it may be) from my trial and error with my own three children. Hopefully, the book will provide you with the information to be able to spot when you do make mistakes and some ideas for what else to do instead.

Im not going to be worried if your child doesnt eat all their greens (they dont need to); or if your daughter wakes four times in the night (all children come to wakefulness; most just learn to soothe themselves back to sleep); or your boy cries for your attention (without words how else will he do it?); or your toddler eats with their fingers (the feel of food is important for developing brains); or your five-year-old melts down on day one of school (starting so much newness is unsettling). What Ill be suggesting to you throughout the book is that you dont have to get worried about these things either. The biggest factor that often maintains childrens problem behaviours is parental anxiety and over-involvement. Ill guide you in how and when to sit back, relax and only get involved when absolutely necessary.